Interview: Xana

Photo Credit: Lindsey Blane

Interview by Bridget Quinn

Last Thursday night, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Canadian singer-songwriter Xana Morris (stage name Xana) in her green room before her second consecutive summer playing Boston’s Paradise Rock Club. She is touring her most recent album, “The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn’t,” and new singles “GIRLSGIRL” and “Save The Bullets, Baby!,” building on the sound she introduced with her 2022 debut.

Bridget Quinn (BQ): So first thing, Xana, it’s your brand. It’s your name. Did that shape how you kind of went into your music career? How did the brand and overall vibe come together as you were writing and figuring out how you wanted to sound?

Xana Morris (XM): So Xana is actually fully just like my full government name.

BQ: Yes, I saw that. Yeah, so beautiful.

XM: Thank you. I guess I am my brand. It doesn’t really feel like branding, or that it’s a stage name, a persona, that kind of thing. I’ve always loved my name, and growing up, felt like the name of a rock star, if you will. I remember my lunch lady in middle school said to me once that I had the name of a rock star, and I was like, “Well, I’m taking that as a sign.” But yes, I love having a unique name, and it allowed me to just kind of explore what I wanted in my music. Make the noise and the sounds that I wanted to.

BQ: That lunch lady definitely had some forward thinking. 

XM: She was on to something with that. 

BQ: She knew what was gonna happen. Okay, I saw in your history you took about a year or two years off to go to school. How did that shape when you came back, your approach to writing music and overall creating?

XM: I’ve thought about that a lot because I don’t actually know what it was about the break or the space away, but when I came back to music, I did feel like I had a much clearer vision of what I wanted to do. I was enjoying what I was writing a lot more. The songs and stuff that I was writing, I just, I really liked them a lot more. And so it felt like the break did help, but I honestly couldn’t tell you why, and maybe it was just some experience and life perspective. I put my head down, and was in school for two years. I made the choice not to work on music during that time, because I knew it would distract me and pull me from school. So, I waited very patiently, and then it just all clicked after that. A part of why I went to school was to be able to fund my music, and everything. So it was all part of the plan, and it worked out pretty well. 

BQ: Yeah, exactly. So coming off of that, it was to fund your music. What was that thing that told you it’s time to go back to music?

XM: Music has always been the number one plan and path for me and I went to school and the job I had on the other side of it, I was my own boss. I made my own schedule. I made really good money. I didn’t have to answer to anybody else. I could decide when I was working and when I wasn’t. And so because of that, I was able to put the amount of time and money and effort into music that I wanted to. That was always part of the plan and it just felt like the next step.

BQ: Exactly. You felt it was right and it was.

XM: Yeah, It was perfect. 

BQ: Sometimes it’s that gut feeling. You truly just have to listen. 

XM: You really have to, you really have to trust yourself in those moments. 

BQ: If your gut isn’t in it, it’s not gonna work 

XM: Totally. 

BQ: That’s just how it is. Do you remember the moment you realized I’ve made it as an artist, this is what I’m going to do as a full time job? 

XM: It’s funny, because I think you’re always looking at the next goal to work towards. So having an I’ve made it moment,  I still am waiting to feel that even though I have been full time making music for about three years now. I made the decision to go full time. I was doing a good job at music and a good job at my other job, but not like a great job at either. And so it’s kind of being stretched and pulled in too many different directions. And so I was like, “Hey, I’m gonna try to go full time at Music. See how it goes.” and I was just gonna do that for a couple months, and then I never looked back. After six months full time, I was like, okay, like, I’m actually doing it. It’s working. There’s no going back at this point. Now we’re fully just in that direction.

BQ: It’s clicked

XM: It’s clicking, it’s working. We’re moving forward. We’re not moving back. That felt really, really good. So I don’t know if that’s an “I’ve made it moment.” I guess if anything I have, “I’ve made it moments” when I’m playing the shows and stuff, I think when I’m seeing how many people are at these shows, and they all know the words, they’re all so excited. I think that’s the closest I’ve come to being like, oh shit. This is, this is real.

BQ: That kind of leads into my next question. Is there a moment on stage every night where you kind of just have to pause, look and say, “whoa” or it takes your breath away? 

XM: I feel like there’s different moments in every show. I think I played kitchen like every single show that I’ve ever played. When I was in Columbus a couple nights ago, something about it two nights ago I almost started crying, because everyone was so into it. There was so much joy and so much passion and so much love. I was just like, “Holy fuck. This is great.” This is a song I put out, I don’t know, like, almost four or five years ago or something, seeing everybody go so hard for it was really emotional. Then there’s moments where, like, in sick joke, where they all scream a certain lyric, like, I sing “have to block you on the internet”, and they go “cuz I still cared”. I’m like, that’s really fun. There’s moments like that throughout the set that are really cool and every city, they have their own vibe and their own character, their own personality. 

BQ: That kind of leads me into my next question. You have said in previous interviews that songwriting is a therapy for you, and it’s a good release emotionally. Does playing those songs live unveil different emotions for you, or change the meaning of those songs? 

XM: I think it depends on just where I’m at and how I’m feeling emotionally at that time. I know that last summer, when I was on tour, I was feeling everything, like every word that I was singing, I was feeling it very, very deeply, which was beautiful and great, and I loved it. I’m now in a much different place than I was at that point. Everything feels lighter and feels easier. I’m just happier and more peaceful. I can still sing the same songs, still with all that emotion, but I don’t feel like it winds me, as much, you know. I think it just depends. There’s times where I’ll sing a song that I wrote so long ago, and I’m now relating to it again for completely different reasons. That’s always interesting when that happens. It just depends on this tour, though I’ve been really in the moment with the crowd and I’m seeing them have their therapeutic release and watching them go through all the emotions. It’s really special to be there for that and provide that space.

BQ: I think one of the cool parts about going to concerts is feeling that connection and we all have these same mutual experiences. I think one cool thing is we all interpret them differently. So I’m sure you hear tons of different interpreters online of all of your songs, are there any fans that you’ve heard that have just struck a chord with you and maybe made you think of things in a new light? 

XM: There’s not a specific one that comes to mind right now, but I do get a lot of messages that are like, “Oh, 15 really helped me understand this situation.” Maybe they don’t go into detail about what that situation was, but for whatever reason or whatever song it is, if it’s a breakup song, if it’s a love song, if it’s about their sexuality, about a relationship, about a divorce. I think that just hearing people talk about things like how it helped them move through those is very pivotal and important even sometimes traumatic experiences and that’s really special, especially since, like I said, writing is like therapy for me. This is how I cope with my emotions, if it then turns into giving somebody a tool to better understand their experiences. That’s very special, and kind of like the whole purpose of the whole thing. So hopefully that answers your question. 

BQ: No, it definitely did. I definitely think that connecting with things and seeing just community is the most important thing. And just seeing that like experience, when we all truly are living the same life, just in different forms. 

XM: It’s honestly crazy. The amount of people that will be like, “Oh, you, you wrote this exactly about my last relationship,” and I’m like, “No, I wrote it about mine.” What do you mean? Why are we going through the same thing? Yeah, it’s kind of crazy. It’s kind of like that small world feeling but in terms of experiences, it’s like, oh, we’re not as alone as we thought. We would all understand each other quite well if we all shared. 

BQ: If communication was open we would all understand each other perfectly, and we’d all realize that we’re the exact same person.

XM: It’s really incredible.

BQ: In today’s world of music, kind of shifting a little bit. A lot of artists are changing up their sound and trying to explore new sounds and new genres. A lot of people are moving into country music. Do you feel like there’s a sound that you have yet to explore that you’d really like to?

XM: I’m such a lover of all music, and feel like I’m always pulling references from different genres into what I do. It’s funny you bring up country music. I would love to make a country album. I grew up on country, I do love country music. Or like, kind of like a folk/indie kind of record would be so much fun. I love that kind of singing and writing and I could definitely see myself doing that at some point. I know that my heart right now is pulling me in very pop directions, but I’m always a rock/punk girl, for sure. I’m grateful that my fan base enjoys when I tiptoe into different worlds. I think I’m very, very lucky that they celebrate that so I get to kind of do whatever I feel in the moment. Very nice yeah, the expression is like, limitless.

BQ: So you described your vibe previously before as kind of anti pop or dark pop. Did that come out organically, or did you kind of go into writing music knowing that this was the sound I wanted to create, at least for “Tantrums.”

XM: Yeah, for “Tantrums,” I think my mindset was partially, this might be the only album I ever get to make. So I have to make it and I have to be satisfied enough with it that if it’s the only shot, and the only album I make that I’ll be okay. After that, not knowing if anybody was gonna listen to it or if anybody’s gonna hear it, I knew I had to love it so much. I also really wanted to be heard and be listened to and I just had a lot on my mind and on my heart. I was always a very quiet kid, and this was my chance to be loud. I think those two things came together and made it that kind of anti pop whatever, rock, kind of punk pop, yeah. For Inspirations of artists that I like, at that time I was really drawn to Halsey, I grew up on Avril Levine and Taylor Swift and all these people. So I really valued women who were not afraid to be noisy and loud and say what was on their mind, to take up space. And I really wanted to embody that in my music as well. That’s where I started at least.

BQ: You said you were a quiet kid. How do you feel like that translated to now your persona on stage, which I feel like, is normally very large. I feel you fill up a stage. How do you think you got to where you are now?

XM: Um, I mean, I am a Leo. So, it checks out and I’ve always been a performer, I did perform while growing up. I think that when I say I was a quiet kid, I mean that I would retreat to my bedroom and then live in my own little world. I was always daydreaming, always making up these stories and daydreaming about being on stage and playing shows and all this stuff, right? I was doing that in my bedroom, but I did kind of just keep that to myself a bit more fully knowing that whenever, if ever it happened, I would be exactly how I am on stage. So because I am very theatric, whenever somebody finds out I’m a leo, they go, ‘Oh, that makes so much sense.’ I feel like that comes across on stage. 

BQ: Yeah, definitely. Kind of moving towards your newer album “The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn’t” and the album art, which is beautiful and feels like it has so many hidden messages in it, the more you look at it, the more you see. I felt very strong either Greek mythos or biblical references with the pomegranate the two heads of the Lamb, did those inspire any specific songs on the album, or the overall composition of the album? 

XM: Yeah, I would say, probably the overall composition, because I had the original artwork idea in my head even when I was working on “Tantrums,” like so long before I was even working on the second album, I knew what I wanted the artwork to look like, I knew what I wanted that world to feel like. Having the bloody pomegranate in one hand and the baby lambs in the other. Showing the anger, hurt and aggression, while then also still trying to be so gentle and so maternal and forgiving and loving, like a safe place. Having both of those be so much part of you, and trying to figure out how to hold space for both without taking away from the other, was a big part of this album, and all the stories and everything that I was talking about within it. Showing that in the awesome artwork was important to me. Then also in this beautiful, colorful world, it’s like this, like queer Garden of Eden is what I always kind of called it. It’s just so vibrant and magical. No matter where you look, there’s always something else to find, but then my face is so stoic, almost like I’m not even there. I don’t even realize I’m there. It was really powerful artwork to make for me, and I think it launched us into this world and these stories quite well.  

BQ: I agree. I think it’s very fitting, and I just, I always want to look at it and find new things that I’m missing. 

XM: We also, when we were making the album as just kind of a side exercise for us, we categorized the songs into seasons, like, spring, summer, winter, fall kind of thing. We did that in the corners of the album artworks, like, one corner is winter, one corner is fall, and then there’s like, summer and spring. We kind of tried to incorporate that idea into it as well. You can see where it’s colder, where it’s spookier, where all the fruit is flourishing, everything like that. There’s multiple things we tried to incorporate into it.

BQ: The multiple facets of life all kind of represented. 

XM: A full cycle of a season of healing and everything, yeah.

BQ: Kind of going back to your inspirations, of you who you grew up listening to Avirl Levine and Taylor Swift, you’ve become kind of like a queer icon for a lot of people. Do you feel like what led you there was maybe missing that when you were younger and maybe starting out? Or do you feel like you had become the role model that you wish you had when you were younger?

XM: Yeah, I definitely think that I had more queer representation growing up, other than like Ellen DeGeneres.

BQ: Very stereotypical, yeah, 

XM: I think maybe I could have figured some things out, or understood some things about myself a bit more. There were signs, and I just, I was looking at them and seeing right through them, you know what I mean? I’m grateful that I feel like I’m the kind of artist that I would have benefited from when I was younger. It’s funny, I remember being in elementary school or middle school, maybe and feeling so annoyed, this is before I knew anything, right? But I knew I wanted to be a pop star or rock star, whatever, and I was like, “God, I can’t believe that I’m just gonna have to write love songs about boys. That’s so stupid and lame,” and there’s like, what else am I gonna do, I have to write a love song about a boy. I was so annoyed about that idea. It just goes to show another reason or another way that’s like, well, had there been love songs of girls, women to women, maybe I would have been like, “Oh, there’s another option here. There’s a way out.” I was genuinely pissed off like, as a nine year old. Like “fuck I need to write about boys, alright.” 

BQ: Looking through, like, straight through the signs is also such a relatable experience for so many people, because when you don’t match this box that has been made you feel like you don’t fit in any box. 

XM: Yeah right, and also, I was a kid that loved love. I loved all the romance movies. I wanted to feel it. It’s like, hey, well, I yeah, this is what love is. Then this is the only love that I’m seeing. And I want that, but it’s so annoying sometimes,

BQ: Yeah, the Disney Princess story that, like, it’s not what you really want, but it’s what you aspire to your entire life. 

XM: Totally, Yeah.

BQ: Kind of pulling on that your songs bring back a very nostalgic feeling for a lot of people. What’s your relationship with nostalgia? And do you feel drawn to revisit earlier versions of yourself when writing and composing music?

XM: Ooo, I’m a girl who loves to look back. I love looking back. No, I think that nostalgia is like a very beautiful thing, because you are always trying to live in the moment and savor something when you’re experiencing it, especially if you know it’s special and important. But time is going and you can’t stop it, and you’re always going to look back on something and it’s kind of special. You get to then look at it through another light that you didn’t have in the moment, and you get to relive it a certain way. That’s what a lot of songwriting is for me. I definitely do write sometimes when I’m in the process of something, but a lot of the time, it’s once there’s been a little bit of time and a little bit of perspective, and I’m looking back. I’m looking back and I can still remember all those feelings, all those thoughts and everything. So it definitely does play, I would say, a pretty big role in my music, for sure, but I feel like that’s just such a big part of life. The whole experience, as you’re learning these lessons, and you’re you’re missing your childhood or your teen years, or whatever it is, and you try to bring it back and try to relive it a little bit. It’s beautiful. Yeah, hopefully that answers your question. 

BQ: Oh, it answered my question perfectly. Thank you. You’ve answered most of my questions. I just kind of have some fun kind of rapid fire ones. Bring up the energy before we go. 

XM: Sure.

BQ: If you could open for any artist. Who would you open for? Dead or alive? It could be anyone.

XM: Well, okay,  like my dream is to open for Halsey, probably because of the impact that she’s made on my whole life and my music and everything. Dare I say, I think I would be a great opener for her. I think we would have a lot of fun on a tour together. I also love The Killers, and we go back to The Killers a lot and like, that would be so much fun, too. Who knows? Supposed to be rapid fire, but really, the list so long 

BQ: Kind of on those same lines, is there a popular song that you wish you wrote? You’re like, I wish I came up with that, that’s so good, I relate to it so much.

XM: Um, “Right Where You Left Me” by Taylor Swift. I’m like, genuinely pissed off that I didn’t write that, because I’m like, I’ve, I have been that girl time and time again. I’ve built that restaurant brick by brick. No, I think it’s such a beautiful song and so relatable. And I’m just, yeah, I’m like, genuinely mad that I didn’t write it. 

BQ: Do you have a go to hype song before you go on stage to, like, bring the energy up. 

XM: We always play “Mr. BrightSide” by The Killers. And it’s really fun, because we can hear everybody out there, and they’re all singing it, and we’re backstage and we’re singing and dancing to it. It’s like, it’s so good, and, like, a hype song. 

BQ: Bringing back that connection between the artists, preparing everyone for what’s to come. 

XM: Exactly, It’s so good. 

BQ: Do you have a guilty pleasure tour snack where you’re on tour you allow yourself to have as much as I want?

XM: Um, we get instant noodles, like, cup of noodles. That is my favorite thing for after a show, just warm soup. It’s comforting, I can have it here (in the greenroom) or bring it back to the hotel, and then have it in bed before I go to sleep. Yeah, that’s my favorite little tour snack.

BQ: What is not one non musical passion or hobby that you’ve recently discovered that kind of surprised you?

XM: I’m good at pottery.

BQ: I just took a pottery class this summer. 

XM: Yes okay, I love it. 

BQ: Can’t say I’m good at it, but I love it. 

XM: No, it turns out I’m good at it, and I love it. And I can’t wait to take more classes, because I only did one, and then the more classes that they had, they were six weeks. I was not going to be home for six weeks at a time, but this winter, maybe I might be doing more pottery. I made a huge ramen bowl and a couple plates and some mugs, and they were so beautiful. It was so fun. 

BQ: Yeah, exactly. I love pottery. It’s so relaxing. 

XM: It is. I’ve always been artistic. I like making things and doing stuff with my hands. I feel like that’s just like a perfect little project, or like craft for me. 

BQ: Is there a routine that you use on tour to stay grounded just because it’s crazy hectic? Moving around

XM: It is crazy and hectic. My team is so solid. I feel like I’ve always toured with the same people, and that is very helpful. We are a very well run machine, and I have my sister with me and that feels really nice. We take our juice shots together, almost every show day. So it’s like a nice little, pre-show thing. Then if we have an off night, we’ll sometimes have a movie night in the hotel together, something cute, like that. We get dinner together. It’s like little things. It is pretty crazy and pretty hectic. But when we can get in a nice dinner together or movie night. It feels homey and feels good. 

BQ: Yeah, okay, great. Thank you so much for answering all of my questions.

XM: Of course, thanks for the great questions and conversion. 

BQ: Thank you, good luck with the show and rest of tour, very excited to see it and see your next chapters. 

This interview has been edited for clarity.