INTERVIEW: Marika Hackman

Photo Credit: Luka Booth

Interview by Gwyneth Moe

I got the chance to speak with Marika Hackman this past August. She’s currently touring, supporting her latest release Big Sigh. She played at the The Sinclair in Cambridge on 9/7.

Gwyneth Moe (GM): You’re set to start your North American tour in a few weeks supporting big Sky. How are you feeling? Are you ready to be back in the States?

Marika Hackman (MH): Yeah, I’m very ready to be back. I mean, I feel like it’s a long tour and, you know, it’s been five years. I’m a bit older now. So things, a little bit more achy, and I get a little bit more tired than I used to, but I’m very excited because it always feels like a really big adventure coming to the States. You know, obviously, I’ve traveled around Europe and the UK, like, so much more. So it’s so much fun to come and visit places, you know, I’ve never even been to before. And then, you know, visit places that I only get to rarely come to. So, yeah, I’m excited.

GM: But just with crowds and the vibes is there something that you notice differs between your European dates and the ones in the US?

MH: Yeah, I think it’s, I wonder how much of it’s also just coming from me and in my head, but like, I think there’s something about there’s a really, like, special feeling in a room when you’ve traveled so far to be somewhere. And I feel like even if, you know, there’s not that many people at a show or something like that, it’s kind of like it’s just nice because you know that you’re not going to be back there for a really long time. It makes it feel like this perfect little moment that is kind of captured. And I find like speaking to the American fans after shows like it’s so lovely and everyone’s like really enthusiastic and it’s just kind of it feels a little bit deeper. I think just because it’s more rare.

GM:Yeah, there’s so much to see, even state to state. I haven’t been to most of it either. I know you’ve you’ve mentioned before that the creative process of creating Big Sigh was a lot different than some of the previous releases you’ve had, and how you really took it as writing one song at a time, rather than focusing too much on just trying to create a whole album. But there’s still such clear themes throughout this record. At what moment did you kind of realize that the songs were coming together?

MH: I think it was kind of as it usually is, actually like when when you kind of got 6 or 7 written, and that’s kind of the majority of a record, or at least half of it. It kind of shows you the identity of the record. Like, weirdly, I wrote the ground like first kind of way before. And I also think that I always intended to turn that into a song. And then kind of halfway through the process, I realized I was just going to leave that like how it was. And making that decision also really felt like it kind of gelled like my ideas for what the identity of and sonically, how the record was going to sound like when I made that decision. So yeah, around the halfway mark, it’s usually when it kind of emerges. You know?

GM:  Everything comes together and there were such clear themes. A fun album for really digging into the themes, but one that I thought was just so interesting was the exploration of nostalgia and a little bit of the darker side of it. I feel like a lot of people, they think back like nostalgia as such a fond thing. But there’s something really sad about not being able to go back to those moments no matter how hard you might want to. How how did your relationship with nostalgia impact this album?

MH: I mean, massively, I mean, it was such a big focus and nostalgia is always a feeling that has sat quite kind of uncomfortably with me. I, like you say, you know, it’s you. On the one hand, you can look at it as kind of like a fond, sort of glistening, happy memory kind of thing. But the reality is just, you know, time passing, things change and it’s all beyond our control. And it’s irreversible, the passage of time. So it’s kind of confronting that. And as you get older, obviously that becomes more crystallized and more apparent, you know, day to day. And then those memories get further and further away. You start to lose them. And there’s kind of it deepens that kind of yearning, I think, for the simplicity of, of being a child. When things get harder and you have more responsibilities and, you know, becoming an adult is tough.

So it’s kind of I really wanted to focus on that. And I’m really kind of manifested that within this, within the kind of, instrumentation and the arrangements really with the kind of so it’s less there’s not so much of that lyrically, I don’t think. But in terms of the sonics, like, it’s that kind of you hear those beautiful, kind of like lush strings and like the little a flute here and some broth and the kind of like, more classical instrumentation really takes me back to kind of thinking about being a kid in this kind of sweeping future ahead of you, but then the kind of closer, heavier industrial sounds are kind of, you know, being confronted with the realities of time passing and, and just, you know, existing really.

GM: I think you do such a great job of really portraying emotions through, I mean, the lyrics, of course, but also those instrumentals. I thought that “No Caffeine” was such a great translation of like, anxiety into into music. You can really feel it in both the lyrics and the instrumental, especially with the list that kind of repeats throughout the song. How did this song kind of start to come together?

MH: Actually, interestingly, this one, I’ve got an instrumental version of the entire song that’s like this, like slow jam. It’s like this really woozy, like slow jam. And I was so I’d written the chords and everything and I you had a really cool, like, slowed down groove. Like drum groove on it. But it it didn’t the song wasn’t really coming. The melody started to kind of come out, but I realized that it needed to have like more urgency to it. and then as soon as I started making the instrumentation more urgent and the arrangement more urgent and speeding it up and kind of playing with that, then I had the idea for writing the lyrics about basically like a to do list of sort of anti-anxiety tips, which obviously don’t do anything. But it’s kind of just relentless because it, that’s the feeling, you know, and then you got this lovely thing when you have the kind of plot of a song down, then you can really play with like how far you push, how the music reflects the lyrics and kind of you had this like relentless kind of hitting over the head like that little piano motif that just doesn’t stop. That kind of could drive you crazy. And it’s like swirling strings coming around. And that was a lot of fun, kind of working out how to portray those feelings, you know, in music.

GM: I feel like another great portrayal. I just noticed a lot was you love to use really visceral language. Especially one lyric that really stuck out to me from the title track, “jam in my eyes, I know I’m fine.” I feel like that’s just such a great way of making those internal emotions kind of be portrayed outside of yourself, and you use a lot of similar metaphors.

MH: I think I like to create very strong images because I think, you know, it’s the perfect accomplice for music. And I like to write emotional music. I want to have a strong emotional reaction. So I think, you know, the marriage of those two parts, as intense as they can be, is kind of what I’m aiming for. And I think generally the reason it’s kind of visceral, I suppose, is the visceral stuff that really is the uniting force between all of us. It’s kind of like I talk a lot about kind of blood and water and sick and kind of it’s all these things that are a part of everyone, and it’s it’s part of being human. But they’re, they’re sometimes the hardest things to kind of talk about. So I like to kind of just like lay those bare, and then kind of play with them a bit as well. And then like a line like, you know, like jam in my eyes, like, obviously the image that gives me a sort of, you know, when you’re like, it’s like pushing your eyes and out of like, frustration. But also that could also be like jam, like as a jelly, like America. It’s like it could be like sticky kind of gunk, like covering your vision like this. You can kind of I like playing with how words can it can mean different things as well. That can be kind of equally as like gross or intense. Yeah. There’s really both sides.

GM: I think when I listen to it, I was thinking like the, the spreadable jam, I didn’t even think about the double meanings. 

Rolling back to “No Caffeine,” you’ve had a lot of struggles with anxiety and you’ve talked before about how touring for you sometimes can be a little bit of a distraction from the anxiety. That’s why Covid was particularly difficult creatively. Are you happy to be back on the road?

MH: Yeah I am, it’s it’s it’s like I say it’s been funny coming back onto the road after quite a long time. How much one sort of body and brain changes over the course of five years. But like, the main thing is, is just being able to, like, be in a room of people and connect over something that you’ve created because it’s all well and good. Like, I love writing music. Like my favorite thing is when I sit down and write a song and I go, oh, that’s a good song. I’m proud of that. That that’s the best feeling and nothing really tops it. But a very close second is when you actually get to see that landing with people because like, all well and good, you know, recording a record, releasing it, going out into the world, getting reviews, doing interviews, all that stuff. But it’s like it’s still a very solitary endeavor. Like it’s not me standing in a room with a few hundred people and seeing them kind of singing along or like getting emotional or snogging each other or whatever it is, like it’s it’s nice to actually see how it manifests, like in other people, because then it feels like it’s really alive.

GM: Have you had, a song off your latest release that has been the most rewarding so far, or one that you’ve really felt like the live connection just really is there with?

MH: I think the one I like to play the most, is “Blood.” I feel I connect to that song when I sing it the most for some reason. For me, it’s very easy to, like, really inhabit the emotion of that song. God knows why. In terms of lyrics and things like that, there’s nothing that sets it apart, but I feel really settled when I sing that song and I can feel connected, so that obviously feels I can feel it in the room. But then at the same time, hanging on the end of hanging, where there’s the big explosive ending up with the kind of scream singing, and that is like a real highlight for me in the set. And I can feel it’s that sort of two bars of silence before that lands and like seeing a whole room knowing that or just like waiting and then going. It’s like, great. This is exactly what I wrote about.

GM: Coming back on the road after Covid have you noticed any differences in the live environment?

MH: You know what, I actually haven’t, which is quite nice. I don’t know, I feel like maybe less people are kind of. I think it’s also to do with money and economies all over the place being terrible and things being expensive. I think there’s less people going out for gigs as much like as there was before, but I think that’s probably more to do with money than anything else, which is a real shame. It’s sad because I feel like, you know, it should be accessible for everyone, and everyone should be able to see as much music as they want. But in terms of, like, the vibes that people are bringing, you know, it it feels great. It feels really kind of normal, which is. Which is awesome. 

GM: Another thing I think you’ve mentioned before is that with Big Sigh, you’ve kind of felt a lot more comfortable in yourself and your performance, rather than kind of trying to just be this perfect persona. How has that kind of changed your live performances?

MH: I think, even just by the nature of the music, the set itself is more introspective, so it’s just more relaxed. I feel like we’re just all in the room together, enjoying kind of the moment. Whereas obviously with “Any Human Friend” that it’s a fun album and it’s kind of like a in your face kind of record. So that really demands like a persona and a show to be put on. There are still songs from that record on that, don’t get me wrong, we’re playing a lot of that music, but the show itself just feels a little more like understated and a little more kind of just present, I guess. Which is suits me fine.

GM: We, here at WTBU are Boston station, and I did notice that on your tour, you’re doing a couple dates in Canada, and then your first US show is going to be Boston, or Cambridge more accurately. But have you been to Boston before? Have any thoughts on Boston? Are you excited to see the city?

MH: Yeah I’ve played in Boston a couple of times. I think even visited there once as well to see another show. I love it. I love the East Coast, just in general. I feel like it really resonates with me. More than the West Coast. Sorry, West coast, but it’s just a bit more my vibe. It’s like colder and I don’t know why. It’s kind of. It’s got, like, Scandinavian edges to it, which I kind of love. So, yeah, I love Boston. And I see my grandad, my granddad used to work in, is it Framlingham? I think my dad was actually born there. So, you know, there’s some roots there as well.

GM: It all connects back.

MH: Exactly.

GM: Hopefully the Boston crowd where we’ll treat you right for your first show!

MH: They always bring it. I love playing in Boston.