When Bullying Leads to Violence
School shootings have been increasing recently, and while they are still rare, they cause massive devastation and tragedy when they do occur. While there has been much debate about the motivations behind school shootings, when the shootings occur in a high school by a student or students of that school, it is almost always revealed that the student was bullied and socially ostracized at that school. “‘School shooters are often students who have been bullied, picked on, and marginalized’” (Bartol and Bartol 2017). When the diaries of the two Columbine shooters were located after the massacre, one diary described the boy’s loneliness and how he believed he had no friends, while the other boy’s diary described how he was constantly being bullied at school by the other students (Bartol and Bartol 2017).
Anyone who has gone through high school knows that it can be a terrible place for some teens. Bullying can be a severely traumatic experience for anyone. Bartol and Bartol state that “in those schools where a shooting occurred, there was evidence of (1) an inflexible culture…[and] tolerance for disrespectful behavior” (2017). Furthermore, “the inflexible culture created among many students a sense of not belonging” and “tolerance for disrespectful behavior refers to ‘looking the other way’ when incidents of bullying, racism, and overt rudeness and aggressiveness happen in the school building and school grounds” (Bartol and Bartol 2017). I recall an incident in which I was standing in the high school lobby waiting to be picked up after a Regents exam and a student that I barely knew began making sexual movements against my body. I moved away three times, but each time he followed me, until I finally walked to the other lobby of the school. I recall a group of girls laughing at what was occurring. This shows not only a tolerance for disrespectful behavior, but an actual motivation for such behavior. The girls were encouraging this boy, who in hindsight was sexually harassing me, to continue his behavior. My mom reported this to the school, and we were very alarmed when the principal calmly assured us that the school had a strict three-strike policy when it came to sexual harassment, and this was the boy’s fourth strike, so he would be expelled. Come to find out, the boy received a “talk” from a guidance counselor and was allowed to stay in the high school. For a school, on paper, to state that they have a “strict three-strike policy against sexual harassment,” and then to disregard this statement when situations actually do occur is horrendous. First of all, as this was his fourth offense, it never would have even happened to me if they had expelled him after his third offense, as per the rules. Second, I am positive that he continued this behavior at the school, and the sexual harassment did not end with this fourth offense.
When schools make policies, they need to be followed. Obviously there is a high tolerance in our public school systems for bullying and harassment of any kind. Looking back, I should have been offered a counseling session, but was not. In a perfect world, this student would have been expelled and the girls who encouraged him would have been disciplined. Instead, they all considered this bit of bullying and sexual harassment a fun experience for themselves. This tolerance of bullying and harassment in public schools must end. Another time, a boy I did not know attempted to push me down a flight of stairs in the school on a dare; luckily, I caught myself and did not fall, but when I spoke to the counselor about it, I was told that this behavior was “harmless” and not something that they had time to look into. When school counselors, who are supposed to be looking out for the emotional and physical safety of the students, make excuses for bullying behaviors, it only serves to worsen the problem. Many parents would be alarmed to find out how their children treat others while they are in school, and how the guidance counselors react to this bullying, or rather, ignore this bullying. School guidance counselors can be our first line of defense in preventing school shootings by making sure that students who are expressing violent thoughts and being bullied everyday are made to understand that the bullying is unacceptable, that their lives are just as important as the lives of the other students in the school, and that the bullying will be stopped or someone will be severely punished. By letting children fall through the cracks like this, particularly adolescents, we are telling them that they do not matter, and that all of the terrible things that bullies say to and about them are true. Adolescents are going through enough emotionally without adding bullying on top of it. More strict rules against bullying, and actually following through on these rules, would be a step towards reducing the likelihood of school shootings occurring in high schools by students.
References:
Bartol, C. R., & Bartol, A. M. (2017). Criminal behavior: A psychological approach. (11th Ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson.