Healing Together: How Sexual Assault Can Impact Romantic Relationships

Sexual assault is a traumatic experience that can have lasting psychological, emotional, physical, and social effects on survivors. Many of these survivors experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Van der Kolk (2014) explains how some individuals who have experienced trauma have a difficult time moving past their experience, making it difficult to bridge the gap between their experience and their current life. Unfortunately, these individuals are stuck in a constant cycle of what happened to them, failing to adopt ways to move forward. These effects can also shape romantic relationships, especially when sexual assault occurred before or during the relationship, impacting the quality and level of satisfaction. While there is a large focus on the psychological and emotional consequences of trauma, less attention has been placed on how those experiences influence romantic relationships over time. Romantic relationships can be an important source of comfort, safety, and connection. For survivors of sexual assault, intimacy may also become complicated by trauma-related symptoms, changes in trust, communication challenges, and concerns about emotional or physical closeness. While every survivor’s experience is different, sexual assault impacts not only the survivor’s well-being but also the overall functioning of a romantic relationship.

After a sexual assault, survivors may experience anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, flashbacks, or avoidance. These trauma-related symptoms can make communication, emotional and physical intimacy difficult, which could impact the development and maintenance of healthy romantic relationships. Survivors may feel distant from their partners, struggle with vulnerability, or find that certain situations trigger distress. Research shows that trauma symptoms are often associated with lower relationship satisfaction, emphasizing that the effects of sexual assault extend beyond the individual survivor (DiMauro & Renshaw; Georgia et al., 2018), creating additional challenges when symptoms are not understood or addressed. By understanding their symptoms and regulating their emotions, a survivor can foster resilience. Resilience is important in a survivor’s recovery from stress and trauma and is associated with positive changes in thinking and perception, which regulate symptoms of PTSD (Wu et al., 2015). Resilience occurs mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially, all areas that impact a romantic relationship. Growth in these areas encourages survivors to be open to new opportunities and changes in relationships, promoting intimacy, connection, and mutual understanding.

In romantic relationships, a supportive partner can play a meaningful role in a survivor’s healing process, helping them experience post-traumatic growth, which is an extension of resilience. Post-traumatic growth may be encouraged by positive social support, gratitude, strong family ties, secure attachment, self-care, meaning-making, debriefing, and prompt intervention (Rousseau, 2026). Research suggests that partners who offer patience, understanding, and emotional support can play a significant role in a survivor’s healing process (O’Callaghan et al., 2019; Person et al., 2024; Stockman et al., 2024). However, support does not mean trying to “fix” the survivor or rush recovery. Instead, it involves listening without judgment, respecting boundaries, being patient, and creating an environment where the survivor feels safe expressing needs and concerns. When partners respond with empathy and consistency, survivors may feel more empowered to rebuild trust and intimacy at their own pace. Open communication about boundaries, triggers, comfort levels, and emotional needs can also help couples better understand one another. Although these conversations may be difficult, they can also create opportunities for closeness, respect, and mutual care. Partners who communicate clearly and compassionately are better positioned to navigate challenges together rather than allowing trauma-related stress to create distance.

Healing after sexual assault is a deeply personal process, and no two relationships will look the same. Supportive partnership, patient communication, and trauma-informed care can help couples navigate the effects of assault while building healthier patterns of connection. EMDR is one trauma-informed intervention that may benefit survivors who have yet to address their trauma. It is designed to reduce distress connected to traumatic memories by guiding clients through rhythmic eye movements while recalling the traumatic event and shifting toward more positive thoughts (Cowan et al., 2020). This process identifies areas associated with the client’s distress, allowing them to desensitize themselves from the memories, which can help survivors gain the control they need to become calm when encountering triggers. For survivors who have disclosed their experiences to their partner, sex therapy could help address challenges through honesty, empathy, and mutual support, as this has the potential to increase relationship satisfaction. Recognizing the lasting effects of sexual assault on romantic relationships while promoting open communication and trauma-informed, evidence-based interventions can help survivors and their partners strengthen intimacy, build resilience, and develop healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

References

Cowan, A., Ashai, A., & Gentile, J. P. (2020). Psychotherapy with survivors of sexual abuse and assault. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience, 17(1-3), 22–26. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7239557/

DiMauro, J., & Renshaw, K. D. (2019). PTSD and relationship satisfaction in female survivors of sexual assault. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 11(5), 534-541. https://doi.org/10.1037/tra0000391

Georgia, E. J., Roddy, M. K., & Doss, B. D. (2018). Sexual assault and dyadic relationship satisfaction: Indirect associations through intimacy and mental health. Violence Against Women, 24(8), 936–951. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801217727371

O’Callaghan, E., Shepp, V., Ullman, S. E., & Kirkner, A. (2019). Navigating sex and sexuality after sexual assault: A qualitative study of survivors and informal support providers. The Journal of Sex Research, 56(8), 1045–1057. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2018.1506731

Person, A. I., Frazier, P. A., Selvey-Bouyack, A. M., Anders, S. L., Shallcross, S. L., & Simpson, J. A. (2024). Associations between sexual assault and romantic relationship functioning: A mixed-methods analysis. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 41(8), 2297–2322. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075241241496

Rousseau, D. (2026). Module 1: Lesson 1.2: Addressing trauma [Online Module]. Blackboard at Boston University. https://learn.bu.edu/ultra/course

Stockman, D., Van Parys, H., Uzieblo, K., Littleton, H., Keygnaert, I., Lemmens, G., & Verhofstadt, L. (2024). Coping with sexual violence as a post-assault formed couple: A dyadic phenomenological interview analysis. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 50(7), 787–810. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2374245

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Wu, K., Zhang, Y., Liu, Z., Zhou, P., & Wei, C. (2015). Coexistence and different determinants of posttraumatic stress disorder and posttraumatic growth among Chinese survivors after earthquake: Role of resilience and rumination. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, 1043. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01043

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