Emphasizing Partnership Commonalities
Finding and elevating areas of common ground enhances the working relationship, builds trust, and often renews energy to work together (Farkas, et. al, 2016). Mutuality is a guiding principle for partnering.
Focusing On Commonalities
When you emphasize what you, the individual, and their family share, you are spotlighting the path forward. Five (5) areas of commonalities are:
- Behavioral health goals: desired outcomes
- “Courtney, we’re all aligned on your goals of securing part-time work and living on your own.”
- Behavioral health process: actions to achieve outcomes
- “We all understand and support you, Courtney, in your choice to continue with medication tapering.”
- Roles: participation in the partnership
- “Courtney, it seems helpful to you and your family to be together and collectively explore your options for moving.”
- Responsibilities: functions in the partnership
- “It seems like we all understand and agree on what we’ll individually do before the next meeting to support you, Courtney, in making progress toward your goals.”
- Experience: personal beliefs, values, and feelings
- “Courtney, we all believe – and you do too – that recovery is possible, and your goals are achievable.”
Practice Pause: Identifying Commonalities
Consider the exchange below between Marco (individual receiving support), Lupe (Marco’s family member), and Dr. Hidalgo (behavioral health provider) who are not currently aligned on Marco’s work-related goals.
Lupe (family member): I understand, Marco, you want to go to that vocational rehab program. I’m just not sure. I don’t think you’re ready for work. You’ve been in and out of the hospital for the last two years. Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon to get a job?!
Marco (individual receiving support): Mom, I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last couple of years, including what kind of work makes me feel good and fulfilled. I want to work. I’m sick of being just a patient.
Dr. Hidalgo (provider): Marco, you seem eager to return to work, and Lupe, you seem nervous that Marco won’t be successful in his transition back to work. You both agree on finding a next step that is achievable and supportive of you, Marco, and your goals. You know, individuals I’ve worked with who share your experience, Marco, often find work to be a wonderful way to leave the ‘patient role’ behind and take on a more valued and meaningful role.
Lupe: I’m just worried working will make you feel worse, Marco, which would be like another step backward for you and our family.
Marco: I get it, Mom, but these are my decisions, and I won’t know until I try.
Dr. Hidalgo: Marco, you and your mom both want to trust this next step. It sounds like you’re both considering what’s best for Marco, his goals, and what you’ve learned in the last two years to decide on that step.
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