Naming Differences

Attunement — the positive, emotional back-and-forth between partners — inevitably ebbs in all relationships and conflict arises. We name and normalize differences and conflict when they happen.

On Naming Differences

Much like commonalities, the areas of differences within the partnership often arise around behavioral health goals, process, roles, responsibilities, experiences, and interests.

By identifying and naming differences, we foster positive, health-promoting communication in the partnership that cultivates trust, progress toward shared recovery goals, and continued engagement in behavioral health support. Farkas, et. al. (2016) suggest addressing differences when they are:

1. Relevant to the partnership: related to the recovery collaboration,
2. Occur consistently or frequently: the difference comes up often enough, and/or
3. Impacting progress: slowing or stopping the work toward goals.

Practice Pause: Naming Differences Is Validating

Naming differences is another way to demonstrate understanding of others’ perspectives, feelings, and experiences. Naming differences respectfully can foster trusting relationships.

As a recap from the course section on Validating Families’ Cultures, Dr. Xavier Amador (2023), clinician and founder of the Henry Amador Center on Anosognosia, suggests the evidence-based, trademarked LEAP Method as a pathway to respectfully convey understanding of others’ experiences, we:

1. Listen: give attention to understand an individual’s perspectives,
2. Empathize: share understanding of the individual’s feelings,
3. Agree: express alignment with the individual, and
4. Partner: work together in collaboration.

Notice how the family member in the following video names the difference in an effort to maintain a trusting and caring relationship with her loved one. Content warning: this video contains topics that may be sensitive, including medication and hospitalization. There is also language used about “complying with” and “submitting to” provider expertise, which is not person-centered language.

Practice Pause: Naming Differences Is Difficult

Gather some note-taking materials (e.g., paper/pen, file on your computer). Then, take a few moments to openly and honestly reflect on your partnership with an individual and family with whom you are currently working.

1. Consider what differences exist or have existed in the partnership.
2. How have you addressed the differences?
3. What differences haven’t you addressed and why not?
4. What do you want to do differently to address the differences?

Practice Pause: Naming Differences To Remove Barriers

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