Book Review: “Reviving Ophelia” by M. Pipher & S. Pipher-Gilliam

In a semi-recent review posted on GoodReads, a user had this to say about the nonfiction book “Reviving Ophelia”: “Girls lose themselves in adolescence just as Ophelia in Hamlet strives to please by changing herself into what she thinks others want… [The key theme of this book is] true self versus false self, dichotomy, and the importance of girls finding and staying with their true self while ignoring pressure from the culture to become a false self” (GoodReads, user Brittany, 2024). Though the book explores various scenarios and themes, including how different types of traumatic events affect the adolescent brain, this quote attempts to explain the major argument that the book’s two authors repeat throughout the text. When someone is exposed to trauma as a child or adolescent, the effect is lifelong since the trauma changes the mental and emotional structure of the brain. This is especially present in girls affected by trauma, since they are also socialized in a manner that breeds insecurity, depression, and apathy to pain.

            Pipher and her co-author (who also happens to be her daughter) dedicate chapters to specific issues faced by many adolescent girls: eating disorders, social anxiety, substance abuse, family issues, among others. Each chapter explores the current psychological understanding of these issues, then transitions into interviews with several former and current patients of Pipher’s who have dealt with the specific issue in discussion. It’s the striking differences in the professional explanations and the interviews that make this book a worthwhile read; it becomes clear in the first few chapters that current psychological research still has much to learn on how demographic factors change the expression of traumatic symptoms. Adolescent girls deal with unique forms of trauma and cultural socialization that can cause extreme forms of disordered thinking, feeling, and identity (Pipher & Pipher-Gilliam, 2019).

It’s Mary Pipher’s experience as a trauma therapist that informs her writing, along with the mother-daughter relationship at the center between her and her co-author, specifically in how they regard discussing identity and growth in young people. When discussing child abuse and separation of the true self, the authors have this to say: “[The therapist] encouraged her patients to recognize, grieve for, and eventually accept what happened to them as young children. Only then could they become authentic adults” (Pipher & Pipher-Gilliam, 2019, pg. 30). Again, the authors are bringing up the experience of splitting that occurs directly because of a traumatic event. When someone cannot deal with what has occurred (i.e. a severe traumatic experience), they have to create a new false self that denies and/or represses the traumatic event. This is especially seen in adolescent girls who suffer from trauma due to the patriarchal socialization that also occurs at this age. In many of the sections, the authors also make the important point that this fracture is critically stark in children whose home lives are unsafe, tying the subject back to the parent-child relationship.

The core thesis of the book culminates in one quote: “Our culture is one that runs from pain and treats suffering – which is an inevitable part of life – as an avoidable problem. It still teaches girls the values of junk culture: shop, stay thin, and buy or consume when you feel pain” (Pipher and Pipher-Gilliam, 2019, pg. 300). The reason for my choosing this quote is because it hits closest to the crux of the issue at hand, and specifically why trauma affects adolescent girls in a unique manner. The more that our culture avoids pain, especially if it is pain caused by ongoing trauma, the more that it will harm the upcoming generation growing in this environment.

References

GoodReads. (2024). “Brittany’s Reviews: Reviving Ophelia.” GoodReads. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1301704659

Pipher, M. & Pipher-Gilliam, S. (2019). “Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (25^th Anniversary Edition).” Riverhead Books.

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