Breaking the silence: Liza Long’s Journey from Stigma to Advocacy
Breaking the Silence: Liza Long’s Journey from Stigma to Advocacy
On the morning of December 14, 2012, 20-year-old Adam Lanza shot and killed twenty children and six adult staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, before taking his own life. Later that day, investigators found Adam Lanza’s first victim, his mother Nancy Lanza, whom he had shot four times prior to leaving for the school.
As the nation processed the tragedy, it came to light that, at different times, Adam had been diagnosed with anxiety, sensoryintegration disorder, autism spectrum disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and it was suspected that he had schizophrenia (ABC News, 2014; Breslow, 2013; Engel, 2014). It also became clear that, despite his parents’ multiple attempts to diagnose and treat his condition, they were unable to find the medications and support systems that would be effective.
An Anonymous Blogger
Meanwhile, in Boise, Idaho, a mother of four was going through a diagnosis and treatment ordeal with her 13-year-old son. Two days before the Sandy Hook shooting, her son – let’s call him Michael – had been placed in an acute mental hospital after a violent outburst that included yelling, punching, biting, and threats of suicide. In her anonymous blog, The Anarchist Soccer Mom, she opened up about Michael’s threatening behavior, the emotional toll it had taken on her and her other children, and the impossible choices that lay ahead (Long, 2012).
Titled “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother,” the post described “years of missed diagnoses, ineffective medications, and costly therapies” (Long, 2015, p. 14), expressing the author’s greatest fear: that one day she would find herself in Nancy Lanza’s shoes. Initially shared on Facebook, the post received praise for its honesty, and soon a friend urged the blogger to publish the piece under her real name. “Until people start putting their names on these stories, they aren’t real,” he explained (Long, 2015, p. 15).
The Price of Speaking Up – and The Price of Silence
The blogger’s name was Liza Long, and her cry for help was heard and shared by millions of people, leaving many to wonder what happened next.
To start, Michael’s estranged father read the post to the boy overthe phone while he was still hospitalized. Then, the man used the essay as evidence to take away Long’s custody of their two younger children until Michael was institutionalized. Thusbegins Long’s book, The Price of Silence: A Mom’s Perspective on Mental Illness, published three years after these events.
The book is written for two primary audiences: those who have a family member with a mental illness and understand itscomplexities and challenges – and those who may not realize how pervasive mental illness is and whose first inclination mightbe to keep it quiet. “I hope you’ll look at that child acting out on the playground or in the classroom with different, more compassionate eyes,” the author explains (Long, 2015, p. 193).
One could argue that a third audience for this book was always Long herself. Written in a reflective, journal-like style, revisiting many events over and over again, the book appears to be a way for Long to process the preceding three years, organize her thoughts, and find strength by connecting with her readers.
Overcoming the Stigma and Searching for Answers
Throughout the book, the stigma of mental illness takes many forms: from self-stigma, which leads parents to blame themselves for their child’s illness, to social stigma, encounteredin stores, churches, and schools. Long (2015) argues that self-stigma is the hardest to overcome, as parents “are more than willing to blame themselves, and society at large is happy to reinforce that message” (p. 15). She realizes that her initial choice to blog anonymously was driven by self-stigma and that facing it and openly discussing mental illness was a necessary step toward finding effective treatment.
In the course of the book, Michael, much like Adam Lanza,cycles through multiple diagnoses: intermittent explosive disorder; oppositional defiant disorder; pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified; Asperger’s syndrome, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Long (2015) observes that this “circuitous journey through the Wonderful World of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders […] is pretty typical for children with mental disorders” (p. 103). She applies all her skills as a scholar and her dedication as a mother to researching the science behind these disorders and the available treatment options. After consulting numerous specialists, she finally arrives at a definitive diagnosis for Michael – juvenile bipolar disorder – and confirms that lithium is effective in controlling it.
The Legacy of “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother”
Just like the original essay, the book has led to even more unmasking. Following its release, the public learned that Michael’s real name was Eric and that, by then, he was considering his college options (Arnold-Ratliff, 2016). Long’s appearances on television, new publications, and congressional testimony have made her a well-known mental health advocate.
Using her authentic voice – and her real name – Long has helped make the experiences of families dealing with mental illness more relatable and, therefore, more real for millions of people. It is safe to say that Long will never be in Nancy Lanza’s position– and through her advocacy, she has helped many other families avoid feeling that way as well.
References
Arnold-Ratliff, K. (2016, September 18). Liza Long – “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” Essay. Oprah.com. https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/liza-long-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-essay
Long, L. (2012, December 16). “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother.”HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009
Long, L. (2015). The Price of Silence: A Mom’s Perspective on Mental Illness. A Plume Book.
Montaldo, C. (2004, July 21). Mass Murderers, Spree and Serial Killers. ThoughtCo; ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/defining-mass-spree-and-serial-killers-973123
Rousseau, D. (2025). Lecture Notes from Module 6: The Psychology of Hate and Fear. In Retrieved from Blackboard. Boston University MET CJ-725.