Domestic Violence: Easy to See, Hard to Discuss

Spousal abuse is one of the most common types of abuse that society sees but is also one that society often turns their nose at. Family abuse, domestic abuse more specifically, is estimated to affect about “10 million people every year” and also affects “one in four women” and “one in nine men” showing that it is no longer stereotypically a man abusing his wife (Huecker, 2021). One would think that with how common spousal or even intimate partner abuse is, is that it would be one of the most reported crimes. Sadly enough, statistics show that about “20,000 phone calls are made” to domestic violence hotlines but police reports do not show nearly as many (NCADV). Those who are victims of intimate partner abuse usually stem from a history of abuse already. Although it is a well-known cycle within the criminal justice system, the Cycle of Abuse may not be common knowledge for society. Having exposed and abused children continue on in life to find themselves in an abusive relationship is more common that I’d like to see. Although I myself have not been a victim of domestic abuse, I have been a witness to abusive relationships. I wasn’t a witness in a physical abuse altercation, but I have had friends be in an abusive and toxic relationship.

Abuse does not have to be strictly physical and violent, but it includes “emotional and psychological” abuse and that is the abuse that I saw my friends engaging in, unknowingly (Huecker, 2021). I would be in the college cafeteria area, and I would be sitting with my friends, X and Y who were in a long-term relationship. However, they would argue more times than I would have seen them be affectionate with each other. A lot of the words that were thrown around in these arguments would be “stupid”, “pathetic”, “idiot”, and X would often degrade Y by just referring to her as “woman” rather than her name. They made no effort to make these fights private, as they would shout at each other across the café and have no worries about it. When they broke up, it was a relief to all of our friends because perhaps they could see how bad their relationship was and would also try not to repeat the cycle. As far as I know, they are still broken up.

This relationship, although not physical abuse, ticked off a lot of the qualifications for what deems intimate partner/spousal abuse, what it is:

  • Psychological aggression by a current partner
  • Resulted in both X and Y having:
    • Anger management issues
    • Low self-esteem
    • Feelings of being inferior;

(Huecker, 2021).

And so on. It is hard to help victims of spousal abuse because it’s often a hard situation to bring up. You do not want to intrude, embarrass the victim, or even be wrong about the situation. I can say that went for our friend group for X and Y, we always just let them argue and then hope that they would be over it soon. That was definitely the wrong way to go about it, but I’m hoping (but absolutely not hoping!) that if I am ever in a situation of witnessing any type of intimate partner or spousal abuse, that I can bring myself to help the victim in the best way that the victim needs.

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 There are many websites that can help others to identify domestic abuse, and also brings attention to just how often it occurs. One example is the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, which shows the domestic abuse statistics as a national statistic, but also breaks down state statistics. For Georgia you can see below:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN GEORGIA

  • 37.4% of Georgia women and 30.4% of Georgia men experience intimate partner physical violence, sexual violence and/or stalking in their lifetimes.1
  • In 2019, Georgia domestic violence programs answered 52,282 crisis calls.2
  • Georgia domestic violence shelters provided shelter to 7,214 victims of domestic violence in FY 2019. Anadditional 4,176 were turned away due to lack of bed space.3
  • In 2017, there were 149 domestic violence-related fatalities. 70% of those involved firearms.4
  • In 2017, Georgia had the 10th highest rate in the US of women murdered by men.5
  • As of December 31, 2019, Georgia had submitted one misdemeanor domestic violence and no activeprotective order records to the NICS Index.6

(NCADV)

My wish is that with resources like this available, victims can get the support and help that they need, along with the hope of lowering those statistics.

Reference:

Huecker, M. (2021, February 17). Domestic violence. Retrieved April 14, 2021, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499891/

NCADV: National coalition against domestic violence. (n.d.). Retrieved April 14, 2021, from https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS

 

 

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