Take Care of Yourself, You’re More Important than You Realize
The practice of self-care, although a necessity in life, is not used enough and many people don’t truly understand what self-care is. Many people attempt to eliminate a lot of things that they find stressful. But what happens when the stressors are unavoidable parts of life? Many people have children, a family, school or work that present unavoidable stressors. “Self-care is vital for building resilience toward those stressors in life that you can’t eliminate” (Scott, para. 5).
Until I started my current job I never really thought about self-care or what I can do for myself. Many people don’t even consider self-care, especially those who are busy parents. In the middle of running kids to after school activities, going to parent/teacher conferences, working, cooking dinner, cleaning house, and just taking care of life, we start to lose ourselves in the craziness of it all. As I type this I am surrounded by the craziness of life and it’s stressors. A final paper to write, a deadline to meet at work, a presentation to do, kids to care for and a house to maintain. And I wonder when I will have time for self-care myself. Luckily I have an amazing job that promotes self-care and therefore, will allow me some time while at work to work on school work. Thus, giving me the time for self-care outside of work (at least hopefully).
As Elizabeth Scott mentions in her article “5 Self-Care Practice for Every Area of Your Life”, it is important to practice self-care in all areas. These include physical, social, mental, spiritual and emotional self-care. All of these areas of self-care are equally important, especially for people who work high stress jobs or live high stress lives. While you can certainly practice self-care in one area and not another, in order to optimize results it is important to find a balance.
“Physical self-care includes how you’re fueling your body, how much sleep you’re getting, how much physical activity you are doing, and how well you’re caring for your physical needs” (Scott, para. 9). In order to keep your physical body healthy, in turn keeping your mind healthy, you need to get adequate sleep, maintain a good diet, attend doctors’ appointments and take medication as prescribed and get enough exercise. Methods that help with physical self-care can be as simple as setting a bedtime and sticking to it to ensure that you are getting enough sleep, meal prepping at the beginning of each week to ensure that you are eating healthy foods instead of trying to find something quick and unhealthy to grab and go.
As Elizabeth Scott points out, “it’s easy to neglect your relationships when life gets busy” (Scott, para. 12). As we grow up, we settle down, have children and our priorities change. I’m sure you’ve heard people joke about how once you have kids you no longer have friends. I, myself, have made joking, witty, sarcastic and passive comments about how my social life has dwindled since becoming a mother. It’s very difficult to maintain friendships when you and your friends are suddenly at different stages in life, such as motherhood, newlywed, attending college, or just living the single life. Your way of life defines your priorities, or maybe your priorities define your way of life. It’s easy to lose friendships in the chaos of life but it’s extremely important to make new ones and maintain the ones you can.
“Are you making enough time for activities that mentally stimulate you? Are you doing proactive things to help you stay mentally healthy?” (Scott, para. 21). If not then this could be detrimental to your mental health. How you think, and what you think, greatly impact your mental health and psychological welfare. Exercising your brain by completing puzzles, learning new facts, watching movies, reading books and even working on things like self-compassion and acceptance, are all ways to practice mental self-care and create a better environment for your mind to grow.
You do not have to be a religious person in order to practice spiritual self-care. Meditation, religious services and praying are all examples of spiritual self-care. Regardless of what you choose to do for spiritual self-care, it should develop a sense of self meaning, self-understanding or a deeper connection with the universe. I, myself, enjoy meditation and self-reflection. By asking myself questions about my life and experiences and answering them honestly I am able to reflect on myself and find meaning in my life.
A big part of emotional self-care is developing coping skills to deal with various emotions and stresses that may arise in everyday life, or as part of a traumatic experience. “Emotional self-care may include activities that help you acknowledge and express your feelings on a regular basis” (Scott, para. 22). You may find that talking to a friend, spouse or sibling about your emotions and how you deal with them helps. Some people may be able to have an activity or activities that help them to process emotions. I have had regular contact with people who find that taking a walk helps them to process their emotions. I, myself, need to verbalize my emotions. Depending on the emotions I am experiencing and the reason why I am experiencing these emotions, I may be able to talk to a co-worker or my husband. At a few points in my lifetime I have gone to a counselor because sometimes it helps to have an objective ear to listen, someone who doesn’t have a horse in your race and can help you to process things efficiently without judgment.
The bottom line with all areas of self-care is do what works for you. No two people’s self-care methods will be identical, and they shouldn’t be. No two people are identical so while one thing works for you, it may not work very well for the next person and something that works for me may not work for you. Working in an environment in which the possibility of secondary trauma is very high has made me realize that I need to find what works for me in all areas and develop a balanced plan to take care of myself, mind body and soul. I’ve also realized that just when you think that you have done enough self-care, you probably haven’t and that there really isn’t such a thing as too much when it comes to taking care of yourself. So what are you waiting for?! Go develop your self-care methods!
References
Scott, E. (n.d.). 5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life. Retrieved April 29, 2019, from https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-3144729