To be heard
Many people are raised with the idea that children are supposed to be seen and not heard, which often means that one does not speak unless spoken to first, and the response must be short, well thought out, and most of all polite. Starting in the 1950s it was believed that if children were shown too much love and affection, they would be spoiled rotten children (Lorenzen, 2012). The end result of this is a generation of adults who don’t know who they are, what they like and have trouble saying no without a sense of guilt (Bailey, 2018). In short, they are depressed, filled with anxiety, and guilty for even asking for help simply because they don’t want to waste anyone’s time (Gonzales, 2018). Without meaning to, these parents have emotionally neglected their child which has led to a myriad of mental health issues into young adulthood.
Emotional neglect is when a parent or caregiver fails to respond to a child’s emotional needs and is the opposite of abuse. Emotional neglect is a parent’s failure to act and appropriately respond to a child’s feelings (Webb,2011). It can be difficult to pinpoint emotional neglect after all many parents don’t realize that telling their child to stop crying, or to “suck it up” are not meeting the needs of their child. In fact, many times dismissing a child’s feelings results in feelings of shame and humiliation (McBride, 2017). Yet, childhood neglect can have a negative impact on brain development which can lead to the development of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as an adult and the inability to properly feel.
This occurs when parents are focused on rules and raise their children with little flexibility with often high demands (Bailey, 2018). Like all parents, their goal is that their child follows the rules and stay safe. Yet they take it one step further and have little time or empathy for their child’s needs. On the other end of the spectrum is the permissive parents who have a lackadaisical approach and do not enforce rules and limitations on their children which keeps the children from learning healthy coping mechanisms as they are usually allowed to experiment with sex and drugs (Bailey, 2018).
It is j important to teach a child how that their thoughts, opinions, and feelings matter just as much as anyone else as it is to teach them to learn right from wrong, count, and tie their shoes. Our emotions and emotional intelligence play a great role in shaping who we are as individuals and our ability to communicate with others and find happiness.
Bailey, P. (2018). Childhood emotional neglect, the long-lasting impact of what wasn’t there (part 1 of 2) [Blog]. Retrieved from https://blog.paolabailey.com/childhood-emotional-neglect-the-long-lasting-impact-of-what-wasnt-there-9fc9f20dcebf
Webb, J. (2011). About Emotional Neglect | Dr. Jonice Webb. Retrieved from https://drjonicewebb.com/about-emotional-neglect/
McBride, K. (2017). The Long-Term Impact of Neglectful Parents. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201708/the-long-term-impact-neglectful-parents