Self Care and Staying in Your Lane
Working in a DA’s office, I often interact with those touched by crime, as well as those working to help these victims. Trauma is certainly present much of the time, and burnout, both by the victims who are losing the will to continue on with pressing charges, or prosecutors and victim and witness advocates who deal with a great deal of trauma every day, is a common problem. Unfortunately, as has been touched on in the course, people in these positions also tend to be overburdened in their lives, both in and out of work, making self-care more difficult. Further complicating the issue is a lack of education on self-care; I have interacted with several individuals who feel that exercising is enough to constitute self-care. While it is a great start, and can certainly be effective, many of these people report that their routines are very effective, and that they continue to dwell on the things that trouble them as they exercise. This has led at least a few people I’ve known to conclude that self-care strategies are essentially myths, and that they should simply learn to “deal with” their burdens. Obviously, that can only make things worse.
Another organization I’m connected to is Boston CASA. In Suffolk County, a CASA is a Court Appointed Special Advocate/Guardian Ad Litem. CASAs are assigned to difficult cases in juvenile court, primarily when a child(ren) have been taken away from their parents and placed in foster care, and no resolution appears to be forthcoming in the case. If the children’s lawyer(s), parents lawyers, and the Department of Children and Families (DCF)Â lawyer are all saying different things, the judge can appoint a CASA to be a sort of extra ears. The CASA is the only person whose job it is to report only on what they believe to be is in the best interest of the child; the child’s lawyer is there to argue for what the child wants, and sometimes, the best interest and the want are not one in the same. CASAs meet with their child(ren) in person at least twice per month, and remain in regular contact with all other parties, including lawyers, teachers, doctors, etc. and report their observations and recommendations to the job.
Being a CASA is extremely rewarding, as you get to be the one constant in the life of a child who has had anything resembling consistency and familiarity taken from them. These children have also faced more trauma than any child should, both by the circumstances that made staying in their homes too dangerous, and by the removal itself. As such, CASAs, social workers, and the involved lawyers also tend to encounter a great deal of that trauma, and burnout is again a problem.
During a CASA training system, a group of lawyers came to talk about their roles in the process. One lawyer was from the state (DCF), another was a public defender that often represented parents in such cases, and a third was a lawyer that mainly represented children (in Massachusetts, every child involved, even infants is assigned a lawyer, while in other states, that is sometimes done by social workers or other staff). These three lawyers may often be at each other’s throats in the court room, but outside of it they are friendly colleagues. They each deal with a great deal of trauma, as the parents are often also in an incredibly difficult time in their lives as well. The public defender shared that she sees new lawyers come in, take on too much, don’t take care of themselves, and leave within a few years. DCF sees the same with social workers.
This brings me to some of the most interesting and helpful advice I’ve ever heard, both simply to understand and difficult to execute. Her advice, which she now shares with every lawyer she hires was: stay in your lane. Imagine you’re on a highway. Your lane is to do your specific job, represent and fight for your specific interest. Each involved party has their own role, and you can’t start worrying about what someone else is doing, if they’re doing it well, etc. You need to focus on what you need to do, as that is hard enough, and stay in your lane.
When I think on this advice, it reminds me of my colleagues. They participate in self-care activities, but they don’t focus on staying in their lane on that activity. They don’t practice what we’ve come to know in this course as mindfulness. This may be because not only are they worrying about what they have to do at work the next day, but also worry about if everyone else will do what they’re supposed to do, or they worry about what is happening in the interim. This seems natural to me, given the emotional nature of the cases they face, but it just doesn’t appear to be sustainable. Perhaps there are some individuals who, if they practice enough self-care, they don’t need to put boundaries around their work. For most, however, I do not think it to be a sustainable solution. While worrying about the case outcome may be difficult to forget, perhaps working to stop worrying about whether others are doing their jobs might be an easier step. Anything that can be done to stay more in one’s lane, to be a little more mindful and in the moment, seems to me to be a required part of self-care strategies. One which should be taught alongside suggestions for things to do to take care of one’s self.