{"id":349,"date":"2020-04-20T20:25:27","date_gmt":"2020-04-21T00:25:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/?p=349"},"modified":"2020-04-20T20:25:49","modified_gmt":"2020-04-21T00:25:49","slug":"interview-05","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/2020\/04\/20\/interview-05\/","title":{"rendered":"Interview #05"},"content":{"rendered":"

Story of a preschool teacher who was once acknowledged with many awards but labeled a terrorist later: a mother who had to give birth all alone, a wife who had to afford her family\u2019s life by painting stones, surely a warrior who had to leave everything she built behind.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Back to list of interviews<\/a><\/p>\n

English Translation:<\/strong><\/p>\n

(1)<\/b><\/p>\n

Hello. I allow this speech to be recorded and used. I would like to declare that I personally give permission. I was born in 1988 as a child of educators. I\u2019m the first child in my family. Therefore, my responsibilities were a lot. We are four siblings. After I was born, we moved to different cities because of my parents\u2019 jobs. When we were living in H. I started going to kindergarten. My ideal was to become like my beloved kindergarten teacher. Indeed, my mother showed me later such a quote from my 3rd grade notebook. There was a question asking what we would be when we grew up. My answer was \u2018Of course, a kindergarten teacher\u2019 as I found being a kindergarten teacher h\u0131ghly sacred job. Because it always had a place in our lives. My mother and father were teachers, so\u2026 Indeed, I graduated with high marks in elementary school, middle school, high school. I was accepted to one of the top universities of Turkey. I studied my major there, and I graduated with high performance. Then, I was qualified for a teacher position in the city A… after my first exam for government employees. I started to do my duty there. I had been a teacher for 8 years.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

During that time, I continuously strived to teach my students goodness, righteousness, love, honesty, conscientiousness, fairness, and not to lie no matter what. I got married in the year I came to A.. My husband was a teacher, too. Later on, he started to work at a private university as an administrator. He was a very sincere, and trustworthy person. Later we had a son.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When our son was 5 and a half years old, every good thing in Turkey suddenly took a bad turn. We could not understand what was happening and why. They looked surreal to us. My school was shut down on July 1st. During that time, my husband\u2019s 10 years old nephew from another city came to stay with us to play with my son. He came on Friday, July 15th. Next day, there was a soccer game. Our house was a two story house.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We were watching TV with my husband downstairs while having sunflower seeds and tea. My son and my nephew were playing upstairs. Suddenly news about the coup started to appear on TV. We did not understand what was happening. We couldn\u2019t comprehend the concept of a coup. While there were earlier coups in Turkey, our generations had no such experience at all. My mother’s\u2019 house was very close. We took the kids and went to her house. We tried to understand the situation with their experience of earlier coups. Later on, we learned that it was said that Hizmet Movement (<\/span>Religious movement also known as Gulen movement which was accused of organizing the attempted coup and declared a terrorist organization by the Turkish government)<\/span> members were \u201callegedly\u201d accountable for the coup. These kinds of claims and lies were everywhere.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Later on, I was called to school by the school principal on July 22nd. At that time I was 7 months pregnant. My daughter was 28 weeks along. I had a very stressful pregnancy because of the political environment. We didn\u2019t know what would happen to us. When I went to school on July 22. The principal was highly stressed and anxious. He insisted that I should come quickly. I went with no idea what it was about. He gave me a letter which tells me that I was suspended from duty. Before that, I was a member of a teacher union. In Turkey, anyone could become a member of any union. This was a legal right for every government employee. As a teacher, I became a member of a union with my free will as I believed the union would defend my rights along with their ideals. Before July 15th, the principal harassed me constantly to leave my union. He frequently called me to his room, and asked me to leave the union behind the closed doors.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He continuously threatened me with various threats. Yet I couldn\u2019t mention this to anyone because I didn\u2019t believe it would serve any purpose. I was harassed lots of times, and I started being marginalized by the school principal. This damaged me psychologically very badly. Later, on July 22, he handed me my suspension document. Normally, we were good colleagues, and he was coming to our house as a guest. When handing the document, he said \u2018Giving this document out is easy for me. I wish the person I gave it to was not you\u2019. I asked why. \u2018At least we had good times together\u2019 he said. I said \u2018No problem, I am alright with you\u2019. \u2018I would like to say a couple of things as I give this document to you,\u2019 he said. `He was the reason why I was receiving this document.\u2019 This sentence hurt me a lot. While I was on the way to his office, I prayed to stand up strong. I was pregnant, and I didn\u2019t want to feel degraded facing anyone. Also, his statement that he caused it put me in great sorrow. I took the envelope.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Right after that moment, my labor pains started, but I really didn\u2019t shed tears in the face of the principal. I took a tough stance. God is my witness to that. I went to the hospital with labor pains, where they gave me continuous shots to postpone labor. At the same time, 2-4 days later we learned that my husband was dismissed from his job at the university. My husband became unemployed in the same way I had. We had a 5-and-a-half-year-old son and we would be having a newborn. We didn\u2019t have health insurance or a salary anymore, we had nothing. We stayed at my mother\u2019s house, when all of a sudden we learned that they had undertaken an operation at the university and arrested all of the staff. They went to our house and broke our door. They raided our house. They could not find us because we were at my mother\u2019s house. As soon as my husband learned the raid, he went to one of his friends. He was concerned that if he stayed at my mother\u2019s house, they might have found him here.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was left with my son by myself. My labor was already on the way. I was given continuous injections. Two weeks later, I gave birth prematurely because of the stress. During this time, they gave an arrest order for my husband. My mother was not with me during the birth because of my husband\u2019s arrest order. I did not want to put her at risk. In that Turkish judiciary system, anyone might be arrested at any time for no reason. That morning, I woke up alone in a house. I didn’t have anyone but Allah. I woke up early in the morning. I did my daily prayer. I went to the hospital alone to give birth, praying as I drove the car. Everyone had their husbands, relatives, or mothers with them, but I was the only one by myself in the hospital . Everybody, nurses, midwives asked for my husband. They asked if I had anyone. I told them my husband was abroad. I really did not have anyone but God. Then, my daughter was born. She needed to stay in an incubator. Since she was born premature, she had health issues. I was so scared, having no idea what was going to happen to me. I took my baby and I hurried to get out of the hospital.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I went to another house. I stayed there all alone. My husband couldn\u2019t see his daughter. My son couldn\u2019t see her, either. My mother didn\u2019t know that I had already given birth. I gave birth all alone. I was all alone in there. A week later, I decided to go to my mother\u2019s house. I couldn\u2019t handle it anymore. A week later, my son, who had been somewhere else, was returned to my mom\u2019s house. He was able to see his baby sister two weeks after the birth.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(2)<\/b><\/p>\n

Two weeks later, my son finally saw his sister. We were alone, me and my son. My husband was not there. My son is very fond of his father. He does everything with his father. I don\u2019t even remember clipping my son\u2019s nails. His father is very fond of him, too. He always gives bath to my son. He loves his father so much. However, after not seeing him for a while, he was destroyed. He is a very strong kid. He did not share his feelings with me. He did not complain. He sometimes asked \u2018Where is my father, why isn\u2019t he around? Why don’t we have our father with us anymore? My friends have their father, why not me? Where did my father go, mom?\u2019 After a while, he started wetting on his pants. He couldn\u2019t stand being without his dad. He was waking up with nightmares every night. I had my little baby next to me. I didn\u2019t know what to do anymore. Then, we decided to meet with my husband. My husband took my son, and they stayed together for 2 days. Two days later, my son came back in tears. He came crying since he wouldn\u2019t be able to see his father again for a while.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We didn\u2019t know anything about the events. As I said we couldn\u2019t understand what happened. On June 15th, when we were having tea and sunflower seeds, all of a sudden, they declared us traitors. We were in shock. Until that time, my husband and I received many awards and recognitions from the Ministry of National Education. There were certificates of appreciation that the Minister of Education gave to me in person. These were the first prizes in my profession. I was working at the third best school in Turkey, and the top school in the city. I was an accomplished teacher in that school. As I said, I had several degrees and certifications. But overnight, I was declared an uneducated person. I became a traitor overnight.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, my students and their parents were in complete shock. They couldn\u2019t believe it. Many of my parents called me. \u2018This can\u2019t be possible; we are with you all the way. There must be a mistake, this can\u2019t be happening. Let us take care of you. This is unbelievable, make an appeal.\u2019 I had already opened my lawsuit, and made the appeals.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, after my son came back from his father, he started to feel bad again. It was clear that we needed to live together otherwise we were going to lose our child. He was in really bad shape, and lost weight. He didn\u2019t want to eat. He was saying things like \u2018Growing is pointless if my father wasn\u2019t going to see me grow\u2019. He was relating everything to his father. He was completely destroyed. While he got worse, I was constantly crying. I was also in postpartum. I had to take care of my baby, and I wasn\u2019t able to handle two kids. I needed my husband, but he wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We met in A…. We started to stay at different addresses. While staying at different places, there were days we never went outside. We couldn\u2019t go outside because someone familiar might recognize us. Everyone was reporting everyone. In Turkey, while you were innocent in one minute, you might end up with capital punishment in the next. We had friends like that. I began to do some activities with my son with my experience as a kindergarten teacher since we couldn\u2019t go outside. On the other hand, our budget was not enough anymore. Of course, what we had was so limited.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On my 40th day in postpartum, I took my son to the beach for a little change so that he could relax. We were interested in nautical rocks at the beach. We started to paint the rocks. At first we were doing it as an activity at home. Then I searched on the internet and learned about different rock painting arts. I watched videos about them. I started to paint rocks. Right after putting my daughter to sleep I was painting stones. While I was painting the rocks, my son was polishing them with spray. The next day we were going to the farmer\u2019s market to sell these painted rocks with my son. I was leaving the baby with her father because he couldn\u2019t go outside. As I mentioned, there was an arrest warrant for him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While we were at the farmer\u2019s market one day I met with one of my students\u2019 parents. At that time, I was feeling humiliated. We were selling rocks for 1 Turkish Lira or for half of it. My son was calling \u2018Come! It\u2019s only for 1 Turkish Lira\u2019. People were holding them and bargaining \u2018We don\u2019t pay 1 Turkish lira (less than a quarter dollar) for this. Give us a discount\u2019. They were asking for a discount for a rock that costs 1 Turkish Lira. Then my son was telling them to buy 3 rocks for 1 Lira or 5 rocks for 1 Lira, but stressing that he wants 1 Lira. Then we more or less earned some money. It wasn\u2019t much, but I was able to buy a toy for my son when I got back home. I was able to get him a chocolate egg with a surprise toy inside. I was able to buy bread for the home. That made us very happy. My son was smiling, so I was. This is because your child is very important in your life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One day, we needed to refill our propane tank (for cooking). However, the government recently passed a new law that everyone needs to show ID to get a propane tank, or bottled water, etc. Now, we had to show our ID card in order to buy a propane tank. However, we didn\u2019t know what was going to happen to us if we showed our ID card. We couldn\u2019t even buy a propane tank. Also, we needed to buy filtered water, because tap water was terrible. I had a new baby, and I needed to give her water too. But they asked for our ID card again when we wanted to buy filtered water. We abstained from showing our ID card again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After that, the circle was tightening for us. When I gave my children tap water, they became very sick. We couldn\u2019t take them to hospital. We decided to go to another city, Istanbul. We thought that at least it was a big city where we might have an opportunity to lose our tracks.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We went there covertly with two different cars. My husband took one route, and I took another route. Then, when we came to Istanbul, we started to stay at our friend\u2019s house with our kids. Our friend wasn\u2019t at home. She was out of the city. We stayed in her house.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One day, my son\u2019s tooth started to ache. He had an incredible toothache and I couldn\u2019t come up with a solution. I didn\u2019t have any medicine. I couldn\u2019t go to a doctor. Some friends suggested we go to a dentist. They told us he was going to take care of us without asking for our documents. Of course, immediately I took my son to his place, but I realized that he wasn\u2019t a doctor later on. When he tried to treat my son\u2019s tooth, his face, his mouth, his cheeks were in blood. He was shouting and screaming in the room. My son was asking me to save him but I couldn\u2019t do anything. Because I was thinking about him as a doctor, I told my son that \u2018We are fixing your tooth, my darling\u2019. I was telling him to be patient. While he was bleeding like that, the doctor told me to take my son and leave. He said \u2018I can\u2019t do anything to him, he keeps screaming at me\u2019. I told him \u2018I will calm him down please continue\u2019. Then he mixed up some things and put that mixing on his tooth. It had no effect of course. We came home and cleaned the blood on his face. He saw this much blood for the first time. My son didn\u2019t get better at all, but that person took a lot of money from us. Then, they suggested another doctor and that doctor solved our problem\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We have been victims of similar unjust treatments several times. I couldn\u2019t get my daughter vaccinated. Even though she was born premature, she couldn\u2019t stay in an incubator. My son didn\u2019t have any toys and he was bored. At that time, we could not afford to buy any. I came up with an idea of making toys out of socks, which I had some experience with because of my job<\/span>.<\/span> I started making toys for my children by knitting. Then I knitted for the children of my friends in jail, and I gave them as a gift. Then I started selling them with one of my friends’ help. Then we started to make our living again by selling these toys.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(3)<\/b><\/p>\n

Finally, we decided to flee abroad. We didn’t know what would happen to us if we stayed in Turkey. One of my husband\u2019s colleagues was arrested in A…. After they arrested him, we couldn\u2019t hear from him for a long while. Then we learned that they had tortured him by inserting a soda bottle to his bottom, and his intestines were torn out. We learned that he was in intensive care. Needless to say, his psychology was completely destroyed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

During that time, the police burst into my mother\u2019s house. They searched their house, asking \u2018Where is your daughter, where is your son, where is your son-in-law? If we catch them after now, it will be very bad for them, you have to give them to us first, immediately.\u2019 Then they tried to talk to my father after they couldn\u2019t get any response from my mother: \u2018If you tell us where your daughter is now, we won\u2019t do anything to her. She must come and talk to us. She could hide only up to some point, and we will find her anyway. We will be fair to her. We will be saving them from lots of troubles, but your daughter must come to us.\u2019 They kept saying this. My father told them \u2018I\u2019m not in touch with her anymore. Find her wherever you can.\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After a while, the police burst into my mother\u2019s house again. After they searched my mother\u2019s house in detail, they told \u2018We didn\u2019t come for your daughter or your son-in-law, we came for granddaughter C. (my daughter)\u2019. My mother of course fainted. \u2018What are you saying, what are you going to do with the little baby?\u2019 They responded: \u2018It will be enough for us if we find your granddaughter C. Isn\u2019t T. (my son) here? He will suffice, too.\u2019 Then, they threatened my father: \u2018If you have them, deliver them to us. Otherwise, you will see what we will do to your daughter.\u2019 My father had a heart spasm. My mother fainted. They fell down by the thought of what those people would do even to their babies. At that point, the neighbor\u2019s daughter, aged 10, came up from the stairs. When she saw the door open she said \u2018Hi\u2019 to my mother. Because of her saying \u2018Hi\u2019 to my mom, police officers took her to the police car. Cheering up \u2018We found C.! Yay this is C,\u2019 with excitement. My mother and father were shocked, of course. They were asking for a newborn baby and they took the neighbor\u2019s 10-year-old girl to the police car as C… The neighbor came downstairs, begged them, explained that it was her daughter \u2018Please, this is my daughter, not C., look her ID card is here\u2019 and then saved the child.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After we heard these, we realized that they were targeting even our children. Then, we decided we needed to flee abroad. My daughter didn\u2019t have a passport because she was a newborn. The other three of us had passports, Schengen visas, and American visas, as we used to travel a lot. Later on we learned that we needed to get a consent letter from a notary in order to obtain a passport. This was obviously a risky process. We didn\u2019t know if there was an arrest warrant for me. There was one for my husband, but we didn\u2019t know about me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Still, we wanted to take all risks and have our passports. We decided to get it, and I went to a notary with my daughter. I left my son with my mom, and went to a notary in Istanbul. According to our plan, my husband was going to wait at the door. After the process was done, he was going to come inside and sign the papers. The officer had been stalling me inside by saying \u2018I\u2019m doing your work.\u2019 Everyone who came with me was gone, but it was an hour and a half and he said my process still wasn\u2019t over. At the end of an hour and a half he told me to call my husband so he could come. I called him. While I was telling him to come, I heard him saying \u2018Oops\u2019 and all of a sudden he hung up the phone. Right after he hung up, lots of police officers came into the notary office.<\/span><\/p>\n

The notary office was a very tiny place, about 8 square meters (80 square feet). That small. I was sitting at a desk holding my baby. Police came and started hitting the tables. \u2018Where is he?\u2019 they shouted. He started saying my husband\u2019s name. He asked for me. Instantly, I took my baby. I was praying \u2018Oh my Lord. Don\u2019t make this end of our story. Don\u2019t let it end like this my Lord. I can\u2019t stand it. Please, don\u2019t separate me from my child, my baby is so small. Please, O God!\u2019. \u2018We can\u2019t stand it, please help us!\u2019 I said.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was praying and trying to sneak out by going under the tables. There were police officers behind me. There was a police officer holding the door. He leaned on the door with his arm. I escaped under his arm. Police officers everywhere. I believe God protected us, and hid us from them. They could not see me. I got out but I didn\u2019t know where to go.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was in a huge city. The city which I don\u2019t know at all. After I got out of the notary, right next to me, a grocery store\u2019s door opened. An automatic door. I ran into the store. That store had closed long before, but it\u2019s door was opening and closing by itself because it was broken. I went in. Shelves were empty but there were cash registers. I was hiding with my daughter around the registers. My daughter usually screams a lot but something happened to her. She didn\u2019t make any noise. I was standing next to the register and I didn\u2019t want to defame my family and myself by being labeled as a thief. Again I prayed \u2018Please, my Lord help me!\u2019 and I left the store.<\/span><\/p>\n

There were still police officers following me. I swear to God, I climbed up something like a hill there. But afterwards I went there several times and there was nothing like a hill. But I remember climbing something like a hill. There was a bark shaped like a halo, like a crescent. My daughter and I went inside it, and I was watching the notary place from there. Police were searching for me. I watched them from there. I was reciting prayers all the time. My daughter fell asleep at that time. I regained my composure. I mean, we didn\u2019t have any fear. We felt that someone was with us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I decided to go into a mall. At least it was a crowded place. There was a mall nearby, right across the street. I immediately went there. When I went inside I heard an announcement from security describing me \u2018A woman wearing a green headscarf and holding a baby went inside, she is wanted\u2019. I went into a store and I changed my scarf immediately. Then I rented a stroller and I placed my daughter there. I started walking like an ordinary person. Sure, the announcement was everywhere. And I was thinking of my husband, assuming he had been arrested. They set a trap for my husband by using me. What was I going to do? I didn\u2019t know what to do. I was completely helpless.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I decided to go home. When I went home, nobody opened the door. My mother and my son should have been there but nobody was opening the door. I thought everything was over as I was sure they had caught my husband. I thought that they made him bring them to our house. Then, they grabbed my mother and my son to get to me. At that time, I thought everything was over and started crying in front of the door. Then my mother came out of the elevator. My mother\u2019s leg was broken at that time. It turns out that she had taken my son outside for a walk. I became so happy when I saw them. I was pleasantly quite surprised.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I had no idea about what had happened to my husband. I could not go to the police station and ask for him. I knew if I went there they would take me in, too. My children were so young, I didn\u2019t know what to do. In half an hour or 45 minutes the doorbell rang. My husband was at the door. I was in shock, of course. I told him to come in. He was lifting his eyebrows, and making various facial expressions. I was wondering what happened to my husband. Oh my god. He had facial paralysis before. I thought he might be having one again because of stress. I was telling him to come in please. I threw myself at the feet crying. He wasn\u2019t coming in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It turned out that he was assuming that police caught me and brought me home. They set another trap in order to catch him. Then, God helped really, my husband understood the situation and came in. He collected all his stuff. He said that he needed to go and he left. Then, we couldn\u2019t figure out where he was again. I went out to look for him because he was in shock too. He couldn\u2019t believe it, I mean. I found him in another building\u2019s parking lot. I was searching everywhere like crazy. I needed to find him. I left everything behind, even my kids, to look for my husband. My husband was hiding between two cars in a closed parking lot. He was informing his friends about the situation. The scene crushed me. Because my husband is a very pure hearted person, we didn\u2019t do anything to hide in between cars. (Crying) I got so sad when I saw him like that. I still have a mental picture of him like that. Then, I took him from there. I told him what happened to me. We couldn\u2019t believe it either me nor him. Then we came home. Then my mother went back to her hometown A…. We started preparations to flee abroad.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We believed we needed to leave whether we had passports or not. Because nowhere was safe for us anymore. Then my mother called us a week after she left. \u2018My daughter, they took your father.\u2019 I asked \u2018How did they take him, mom?\u2019 Police came home, when they couldn\u2019t find me and my husband, so they took my father. My father had no crime, he had no relationship, he had nothing. Then we learned that my father was put in jail. But we didn\u2019t know his situation, his offense, we knew nothing. My mother was old. I have a young sister going to high school. My sister was continuously having mental breakdowns. My father and my mother were indeed successful teachers, too. They both got the teacher of the year award. My father was an administrator. We had never seen anything like this before. The police never came to our house. I mean, we didn\u2019t have anything illegal. We had no criminal records at all.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course my little sister couldn\u2019t take it. She started to have heavy psychological breakdowns. My father was in prison, and we couldn\u2019t get any news about my father. They didn\u2019t let him talk to a lawyer, either. We didn\u2019t know anything about my father\u2019s situation there. We knew that several prisoners before died in the prison. We were highly worried about his situation in the prison.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a TEM (Police branch for terror crimes) station in A…. It has 7 floors below ground, and 6 floors above it. The 7th floor below ground was usually used to hold people like us. On the 6th floor above ground, they were torturing and even killing people like us. My father stayed there for 15 days. We couldn\u2019t hear anything from him. 15 days later, the prosecutor told us that they would release my father. We couldn\u2019t believe it. Then, my father was indeed released. However, he was still taking psychological pills, and he hasn\u2019t recovered yet. This is because during the interrogation, they threatened my father with what kind of torture they would do to me and to my husband. What they would do to his grandchildren when they find them. How they would insert a glass bottle to my husband.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They threatened my father how they would torture my husband, and from where they would insert a glass bottle to my husband. There are several other things that my father didn\u2019t tell us. He couldn\u2019t talk about it because it makes him feel terrible. He could not bear it, and started crying. He could not believe what he had gone through.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they released my father. Before we learned the news, we already decided to flee abroad. After seeing what happened to my father, we were comfortable with our decision. In the meantime, on my husband\u2019s family\u2019s side, both of his older and younger brothers were fired from their positions as state officials. We weren\u2019t in contact with my husband\u2019s family. Our chance of meeting with my family fairly diminished because they became very worried after my father\u2019s imprisonment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Meanwhile, all our relatives repeatedly told us that they knew that we were very innocent, but we deserved it. Well then, why did we deserve it? I mean, what did we do to you? Until that time, all of our relatives would keep talking about the favors we did for them. They were all very pleased with us. But now, we were left all alone. None of our friends were talking to us, avoiding us like the plague.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, we learned about human smugglers to flee abroad. We never did those kinds of things in our lives. We had no idea. We got the phone number of the smugglers from our friends who had fled abroad before. Smugglers asked for a substantial amount of money. We had only one car. My father sold it. We gave them that money. We took that money with us, more precisely.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They asked us to come to the city of X… We went to the city of X on different routes. We all used different transportation methods to reach the city of X. In the evening of the day we arrived in X, the smugglers told us to give them all the money, and that they would take us out in the morning. We were obliged to trust them. Whoever we told about this, they asked us why we trusted them. Because we had no alternative.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We were very determined. We gave all our money to the smugglers. They told us they were going to call us the following day, and they did. They had told us that they were going to take us with a luxury boat. Then we went to the place in the city of X they told us. After we arrived they directed us to go here and there. They got us on a touristic boat together with three other families. It was a very simple boat with an open top. We were completely in the open to be seen, and we got very nervous. Then we sailed the sea. After 3-4 hours we were still near the Turkish coasts. Smugglers were drinking alcohol all the time. They couldn\u2019t even see in front of their eyes. They were getting drunk constantly, they didn\u2019t know what they were saying. We were begging them, saying \u2018What are you doing? You told us it was going to be a luxury yacht, at least you told us we would arrive safely etc.\u2019 They were reprimanding of course, because everything we own was in their hands. Later, they indeed brought us to a yacht.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We got on a yacht from the boat in the open sea. After a little while we moved with the yacht, when the captain said he didn\u2019t want to go further. He said \u2018I am not going to move anymore because I am afraid to be caught by the Greek police.\u2019 We asked \u2018What are we going to do then?\u2019 He said \u2018You are on your own.\u2019 We asked him what to do. He told us to get off the yacht and swim. We were begging him \u2018We have little kids, we have a newborn baby, what are you saying, please don\u2019t do this.\u2019 He said \u2018I don\u2019t care, I won\u2019t take that risk, jump and swim\u2019 when we were in the middle of the sea. How could you swim to the shore? We had no life vest, we had nothing. We begged him a lot. He inflated a white boat. I will never forget that boat. He said \u2018I can only take women, men will stay.\u2019 What will happen to our husbands? He told us \u2018Forget about them and get in\u2019. In such a situation, you couldn\u2019t ask anything. You are obliged to do whatever he says.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because if you go back to Turkey, you might be tortured terribly. You might be separated from your children. You had to take all the risk at that point. Then, he inflated the boat. He asked who would get in first. I said \u2018I want to get in\u2019. Because whatever was going to happen I wanted to let it happen. I got in the boat. He was going to sail it. Another friend of mine got in after me. My son, 5 and a half years old, was sitting on my knees. My daughter was one year old, she was a baby. I was holding her in my arms, she was laying on my lap. He got us into the boat. We were praying constantly while the boat was sailing. My Lord, please, please..\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was such a cold day in September. We were sailing, and then the boat burst. It suddenly started to fill with water in the middle of the sea. He was driving faster. Water was filling in more. It was coming up to my ankles at first. A little higher, a little higher. We got closer to the shore. We saw the shore. He was driving even faster. Water level reached up to my knees. At last, my son was in water up to his waist. I lifted my daughter up in the air. (Crying) I prayed \u2018My God for the sake of this child. She is innocent. We are not, my Lord. But we are oppressed. Please, O My Lord, for the sake of my children. I might be a sinner but for the sake of my children please. Even if we die, please let them live, please my Lord.\u2019 I raised my daughter up in the air. I didn\u2019t know what to do because I was so desperate.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then we got off at shore, thank God. We reached the Greek Islands.. I didn\u2019t know the other lady in the boat. However, we were sharing the same destiny. When we got off, we didn\u2019t want to project an image of people who knew each other. We didn\u2019t know what would happen to us in that case. We sat down at the shore. While the captain was leaving I asked him \u2018how am I supposed to find my husband, what am I going to do?\u2019 He said \u2018He will come to you.\u2019 and he escaped in a minute. He grabbed the boat and ran away on foot.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I am waiting and waiting. I am in a country where even the alphabet is different. I am a person who fled from her own country, while I am a person who was in love with her country. Its mountains…Its seas\u2026 I was in tears when I was leaving my country. When I was fleeing, I was still checking the breaking news to see if anything had changed. Whether they realized what they were doing to us was wrong. Whether people would wake up to the reality. It felt like all those mountains, all those rocks were telling us to leave. They were saying \u2018Leave and save yourselves\u2019. (Crying)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I started to wait for my husband at that Greek Island. At first, my son played with sand at the shore as he hadn\u2019t seen sand for so long. We are a family that loves the sea because we were living in A…. He got so happy indeed when he saw the sea. He started playing with rocks and sand with his wet clothes on. His feet were wet. He was wet up to his waist. He started to play with those on. An hour passed, but my husband was not there. I thought something happened to him. Doubtless, they killed him. Because if they kill them, they will be rewarded by Turkey. They pay them a lot of money per person if they kill them or throw them into the sea. Afterwards I started to believe that. An hour and a half passed, my husband was not there.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I sat down next to the sea. My son got bored of playing. He wasn\u2019t speaking anymore. He was telling everything with his eyes. Yet my son used to be so chatty. Without saying anything, he pointed to the sea. He asked \u2018Mom, isn\u2019t my father over there anymore?\u2019 I started crying, he did cry too. He asked \u2018Mom what should we do? I know that you are good people. Why did they do this evil to us, why didn\u2019t they let me play with my toys? I missed my room, Mom. Aren\u2019t you going to miss Turkey? Aren\u2019t our grandparents there? Why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep me away from everything I love? They also took my father away from me. I am not going to ask anything from you from now on. I don\u2019t understand what you are doing. It was my favorite room. You took me away from our house in A… and brought me somewhere else. I loved it but you took that away from me too.\u2019 he said. We stayed at 12 different addresses in 14 months. He said \u2018You took me away from there too. You are taking me away from anywhere that I have toys, mom\u2019. Then we were looking into the sea and crying. We started to think that it became my husband\u2019s grave.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then someone touched me on my back. I turned, that was my husband. I was over the moon. I couldn\u2019t believe I saw my husband. Because I had no further hope for it. My son was jumping and saying \u2018Daddy, daddy\u2019. Everybody was looking at us. To my surprise, they dropped him off to another shore because they were afraid. He too was searching for us for too long, he couldn\u2019t find us too. We had our phones but no phone line, phone number. In short, he found us, thank God\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That is to say, we might have left our past behind but our mind and our heart was still in Turkey. In a sense, you can\u2019t be happy with the fact that you crossed the border. Your siblings, relatives are in Turkey. Your friends are there. You passed the border but it does not have a meaning. Even you feel regret. You feel like you left the people behind when they were still in trouble. However, for your kids\u2019 future, you had to do it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After my husband came we took a cab to the centre. Then we started to think what we were going to do. We couldn\u2019t find a place to stay. The time was 2-3 am, and we were on the streets. I was carrying my baby. We didn\u2019t know what to do. Then, thank God, there was a house of a very old couple. They were leasing out their house. They let us inside their house. We stayed there. We told them our story. They expressed how sad they were for us. Then, a day later, we decided to go to the city of Y. We took a cab to Y. It was hot in the morning and cold at night back then, because it was September.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The driver was going to drive us by the sea on a hot September day. He was going to drop us to the shore where the ferries were. He understood that we were Turkish as we could not speak Greek. He said \u2018You are Turkish.\u2019 We said \u2018Yes, we are.\u2019 He said in English \u2018I know, Erdogan problem and because of that you come here.\u2019 Certainly we didn\u2019t want to get caught because the police were our biggest fear. We said \u2018No, so we don\u2019t know anything. We came here to visit.\u2019 Then of course he understood us. In Greece, the government was paying a lot of money to cab drivers to prevent human smuggling, like us. He took a long route to gain more money. Then, he stopped at some point. He left the car next to the police station. He left the car by saying he would be back in 10 minutes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My husband was sitting in the front, and I was in the back. I was holding my baby in my arms and my son was next to me. We were sitting. 2 minutes later, the driver came with a police officer who had a huge automatic gun. He pointed the gun towards us. It was the first in my life to see a big gun like that. My husband was in the front. We all got shocked. Then he pointed the gun towards me. I was so tired of everything, I wanted to die. I prayed to God to die by his shoot and to be free of everything. Living was so difficult.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he screamed \u2018boom\u2019. I leaped up suddenly with a baby in my arms. Then he started to laugh. They made fun of us. It turned out that he wanted to make a joke to us. We didn\u2019t understand for what reason, to try us or what. Then my son T. got scared a lot. \u2018Mom that was a gun, a real gun. I don\u2019t know what would I do if you were to die\u2019 he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

(5)<\/b><\/p>\n

We went to the city of Y with no problem, thank God. When we arrived in Yanother cab driver took my phone and my husband\u2019s phone and searched them. He told me to sell them to him. Then he started swinging the phone by the open window. He was doing it for me to sell it to him. We had everything in our phones. If we lose it, we wouldn\u2019t be able to communicate with anyone. Then he gave it back, thank God. Now I am mentioning these details, but later I will talk about the favors I saw by Greeks . By any means I have no problem with Greek people. May God be pleased with them. I thank them all.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(6)<\/b><\/p>\n

In Turkey we were taught that Greek people are our enemy. They are terrible, and rude people. However, the ones that we met were so kind and helpful. Of course, in every nation, there are some bad people. I don\u2019t condemn anyone. They might have done those in regards to their traditions. They might have jokes. I don\u2019t condemn any of those by any means. I really loved Greece because it reminds A….\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(7)<\/b><\/p>\n

It was probably our 15th or 16th residence after the coup. By the way, we couldn\u2019t bring anything with us from Turkey. I could only bring a toy that I knitted for my daughter. My husband didn\u2019t let me take anything else. There wasn\u2019t even an extra pair of clothes for my children. We didn\u2019t even have a backpack. We had nothing. Of course we didn\u2019t have much money to buy new clothes. We lived there for a month. In that month, we were wearing those clothes during the day. Really, I am not exaggerating this. God knows what we\u2019ve gone through. When we wear them during the day the clothes get dirty, of course. In the night my husband took off his clothes, he stayed with his undershirt. I took off my daughter\u2019s clothes, I washed them by hand and I hung them on the balcony. In the morning, we were wearing them again. We did this routine for a month.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

At that time, our biggest dream was to get to Germany. Because the education, security, democracy, human rights, everything was excellent there. We heard, we knew so. We decided to check our chances to go there. At first, we tried from the airport in the center of the city of Y. Because my baby C. didn\u2019t have a passport, they told us that we couldn\u2019t go aboard. So, we returned. T\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We were changing houses every two to three days because there were no houses to stay in for the long term. Also the weather got pretty cold in the middle of September. We were wearing summer clothes we wore when we left Turkey. One house we stayed in Ywas terribly cold, the windows would not close. The kids got very sick. I got sicker than I had ever been in my life. I had had a lot of surgeries before. I used to have some health issues, but I don\u2019t remember getting that sick. That day was Sunday, we were going to try.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was begging my husband for us not to go. But we had no time, and we had spent all our money on tickets. Yes, we had to go. My husband got a deal from a cab driver. He was going to drive us there. While we were on our way, the car broke down on the highway. There was nothing on the highway, no gas station. Then the driver called one of his friends. He told us that his friend would take us there. We said everything happens for a reason, and we got in the car. The second taxi drove so fast, 75-80 mph. The windows were closed, and it was almost impossible to breathe. My husband was stung by a huge wasp.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was not possible for any wasp to get inside since the windows were closed all the time. Also, my husband is allergic to bees. I really didn\u2019t know what to do anymore. I was constantly thinking about dying. I was like the walking dead. Everyday you were dying. Everyday you were struggling with another kind of trouble, but we understood that everything happens for a reason at the end. My husband got bitten by a wasp. His color suddenly faded away. I said \u2018My Lord, I will lose my husband. What am I going to do here? I don\u2019t know any word of their language. What would I do?\u2019 Then the driver found ammonia. He became anxious too. He was a very good man. There, I saw how good the Greek people are. He found ammonia, He did first aid. My husband recovered very well. We arrived in the night.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Our ship was at midnight. As soon as we arrived at the port the police understood that we were Turkish. It was too obvious. Black eyebrows, black eyes. What could we do about it? They took us aside. They asked if we were Gulenists. We said we were not because of course, we were anxious. We tried to deny it, but later on we decided to confess. We told them yes, we are, and those kinds of things happened to us. My husband and I were crying our eyes out because everything was over. My son was crying. He was telling them \u2018Uncle, please let us aboard\u2019 as if they knew Turkish. He was begging.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(8)<\/b><\/p>\n

Then my son asked them in Turkish \u2018Please let us aboard, uncle. I have dreams. I want to live a normal life.\u2019 After seeing T. crying like that, two police officers sat down and started crying with us. They said \u2018We are so sorry for you. We know you are good people\u2019 We were shocked. That was the first time someone shared our grief with us. And Greek people who were taught us as our enemies were actually like angels, we saw that.Then they told us they can\u2019t let us aboard under any circumstances, we begged them. That officer pulled me aside and told me to not to cry for my children\u2019s sake. He said \u2018Your child is watching you and getting upset. There is nothing that I can do for you. But look, there is a hotel right across, you can stay there.\u2019 Then he put his hand in his pocket to take some money. He said \u2018If you want you can take this money to buy food.\u2019 We were deeply in shock because it was the first time after months that someone treated us like a human. After 14 months. I mean, we had nobody except God. Everyone was avoiding us like the plague. For the first time, someone put his hand in his pocket and told us that we are good people who are in need. We thanked them. We said we don\u2019t need money and asked them to let us go. But they didn\u2019t let us go, they were following their country\u2019s orders.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then we tried again. It was our last money. That was our last chance, if we couldn\u2019t get abroad we were going to stay in Greece. There was another port called A. We got plane tickets to Germany from there. While we were wondering if we should get tickets to another country rather than going to Munich, we learned that Munich was the only available ticket. We went to port A. When we reached A, we were thinking that we would not be able to pass one more time. We were so hopeless that when I woke my son up in the morning of the day of our last try, he said \u2018you are not going to make it anyway, you will be back<\/span>, so<\/span> let me sleep.\u2019 I woke him up anyway \u2018My son, come on, let\u2019s go. We are going to make it this time because we are good people.\u2019 These all sounded nonsense to him after everything we went through.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Somehow we got in the plane, and it took off. We couldn\u2019t believe it. Even though it took off, we were not moving a bit. We were still thinking that someone would come up, and take us off the plane. We arrived in Munich, and we were in shock when the pilot announced \u2018Welcome to Munich\u2019. Of course I couldn\u2019t believe how it happened. Are we in a dream? We couldn\u2019t believe that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then we went to get our luggage after we arrived. While we were on our way to take our luggage, two civil police took us aside. They asked for our passports. Of course, they saw the changes on our passports. Before they saw it one of the policemen asked if we were Gulenists. He said \u2018You have a Gulenist face.\u2019 We didn\u2019t say anything. We got so shocked. He said the same thing to me. \u2018\u2019You are a Gulenist too\u2019\u2019 he said. Even without looking at our passport they said this to us. We were shocked. We said \u2018\u2019Yes, we are Gulenists.\u2019\u2019 I mean we had nothing else to do. We had nowhere to take shelter in except you. They took us to the police station in the airport.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(9)<\/b><\/p>\n

Then they took us to the police station. They took me and my husband in separate rooms. I was in a room with my children. When they saw the kids were not staying, still they brought milk for my daughter. I was so shocked again. We were completely helpless. It was really shocking for us to see favors from these people. People who are foreigners, complete strangers. When we needed favors and couldn\u2019t see any in Turkey. They brought a toy for my son in case he got bored, because our process took until midnight. They brought milk for my daughter. There was a baby bottle. She drank it. I was so happy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they said they were going to investigate us. They took us to a room. That was the hardest part for me. I experienced the same thing that my friends experienced in Turkey. They said according to the country rules, they had to undress everyone there. I still couldn\u2019t get over it. They said right there to take off my clothes right next to the kids. But I said \u2018I can\u2019t do it. My kids were in the same room. Then they showed tolerance. My daughter stayed there, but they took my son away. By the way, there was a camera recording us. They made us take our clothes off and I was on my period. (crying)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I got so embarrassed. The people who made us live through that\u2026 I got very upset at that time. What wrong did we do for my country? My friends were experiencing the same thing in Turkey. They made us do different moves like bowing and standing up to check if we hide heroin in some parts of our body. They were right to do that but it was so hard for me. I got so embarrassed. I was constantly crying. I haven\u2019t even taken off my clothes even in front of my mother. I thought I lost everything that day. (crying) I would prefer that they could have killed me right there instead of that. It was so hard for me. Then they measured my height and weight. They took a report of our features of me and my husband. After we left the rooms we were in, we couldn\u2019t look into each other\u2019s eyes. I was really like the walking dead.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they sent us to a camp in Munich. We stayed there with people from every nation for 14 days. There were many of our African brothers and sisters. We were going out, eating, drinking but it was all meaningless for us. We couldn\u2019t recover from what we had been through. Everything we owned was left in Turkey.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they sent us to a camp in Danaver. Before we got into that camp, some of my husband\u2019s friends who lived there called us to convey their good wishes for us. Like it was something bad, like something terrible happened to us. They told us \u2018As a camp, that is the hardest place. The people who went there are miserable. You have hard days ahead of you.\u2019 We were already depressed. We were crying our eyes out because of the place that we were going.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We got to the camp. It wasn\u2019t so bad to me at all because I had been homeless for a long time. When we were in Turkey, I slept in public parks with my kids, because there were no houses to stay. I did that for several nights. For that reason, even if it was the smallest place with four walls around it, it was so cozy for me. It was so valuable. It meant a lot. The room was big enough for me. It was maybe 10-15 square meters (~100 square feet). There were 8 beds. There were beds made of iron, iron cabinet, iron chair, and iron table.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That place was like heaven to me. I loved it so much I wanted to wipe its walls, and kiss it. On the walls, there were blood stains. They killed mosquitoes and other animals. They got stuck on the wall. The floor was so dirty, but everything seemed so beautiful to me. Because after 2 years, after 14 months I had a place to stay safely. Even other friends who stayed at the camp were calling me crazy because I loved the camp. Even when I went out, I was running back to the camp because I had a room now. My son had a bed. Those things meant a lot to me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When they were giving out food, I couldn\u2019t hold myself and kept crying. When Germans were giving us food, I was thanking them and crying. Sometimes cooks were crying together with me. They were telling me not to be upset. \u2018\u2019This will pass,\u201d they were saying. I really loved that camp. Even when I was leaving, I cried my eyes out, too. (crying)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There is something called \u2018\u2019Zat\u2019\u2019. They were checking your identity in a meeting. You go in there alone. I went inside, and I told what I lived through to the interviewing officer. Of course, she couldn\u2019t believe it. One week later there was a court date, where we told them what we experienced. The judge was shocked. He said \u2018People in Turkey must be confused. How come they could send out educated and knowledgeable people like you.\u2019 All our documents were with us. Our diplomas, certificates of achievements, my certificates, my awards of appreciation by the ministry of education, the documents that showed I finished my school with a high degree. These also shocked the judge. For each page, he turned his eyes opened wider. He was saying \u2018How could Turkey send out people like this? How? How? I don\u2019t understand.\u2019 Even the judge was astonished by us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, we left the courtroom, and waited for the result. In general, results took six months to one year. We were expecting the same, so we didn\u2019t have any expectations. We didn\u2019t have any complaints about the camp.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I forgot to mention something. As I mentioned before, when we came to the camp we didn\u2019t have anything, any clothes. We only had a small plastic bag that carried our clothes. We didn\u2019t have anything else. When we entered the camp, I learned that there was a washing machine, I was so happy. My hands were ruined because of hand washing. My hands were full of holes because I wasn\u2019t used to hand washing and detergent. I got so happy so I was going to do laundry. Right after our arrival on the 3rd, 4th day I picked up our belongings, we only had food, that plastic bag, and the clothes we were wearing. We wore our pajamas. I took the clothes in the daytime to the laundry. I was going to pick them up the next morning.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I went there the next morning, they told us that our clothes were missing. Only thing we owned was a piece of clothes. There was nothing else we owned in the world, indeed. We only had our clothes, now they were gone too. I was saying \u2018O my Lord, I\u2019ll cut myself off from the world and all worldly things but what do you want me to do.\u2019 I was talking to God in my prayers. I didn\u2019t know what to do. We had nothing. We were not the type of people who asked for alms. In my life, I have neither asked for a loan nor received money from someone. So I had no clothes. So the most private thing was missing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was in my pajamas. We couldn\u2019t go outside since we were ashamed to go out. Our friends were worried about where we were. When one of my friends came to visit I told her. \u2018\u2019Our clothes are missing, we can\u2019t go out, so we are stuck in the room. The only things we owned as a trace of worldly things were those. After we lost those, we had nothing, like those who have lost their backpack with all they have.\u2019<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Like I said before, I loved the camp, I had no problem with it. I got used to it. The German government helped us with clothes. Thanks to them, they provided us clothes. We were wearing them, and we could go out. I was fine with my current situation. I had no problem. We had a normal life. At least we had a door. That was something big for me.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, 10 days after the court, we received our approval papers. We couldn\u2019t believe it. Our friends couldn\u2019t either. It was the fastest approval by that time. We stayed 3 months in that camp, and we left with our approvals. It was the fastest time for a family to receive approval. Even then, they were telling us that we broke a record.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(10)<\/b><\/p>\n

After receiving our approval, we needed a place to stay. In general, it is very hard to find a house. It is a rough time period. We had friends who had been looking for a house for 6 months. My husband had a friend from our city A\u2026 He came here 8 years ago but they did not get in touch before. That night he called my husband. He said that \u2018\u2018I heard you are in Germany. I am in Germany too. How is it going?\u2019\u2019 My husband told him that we were excited because we got the approval today. He said \u2018\u2019Okay then, your home is ready.\u2019\u2019 We asked \u2018How?\u2019 They owned a house and he was looking for someone to give his house. He said \u2018\u2019I have a house like that. I know you. I really want to give it to you.\u2019\u2019 That night…We really liked the house. The rooms were pretty beautiful, the house was too, for me. At least we had an address and a place. It didn\u2019t matter wherever it was. Thank God, he gave his house to us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We had many tough times but thereafter God provided us with everything. Right now we are in our house. We have a tiny house like a box, but it is very beautiful. When we came to the house we had no furniture. But we immediately invited our friends from the camp just for a change. They slept on the floor. We also slept on the floor because we didn\u2019t even have a bed. But nobody was offended, because our friends from the camp liked getting away from the camp just for a change. Just to be in a different environment. It wasn\u2019t comfortable, but they got used to it. They come and we try to host them in a row. Little by little we got some furniture.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While we stayed at the camp, we had some problems with people from different nations. There was a family. I don\u2019t want to mention their nationality. I don\u2019t want to change people\u2019s opinion. The mother of this family was taking her son for defecation to the sink where we wash our dishes and we get ablution for prayers. Then, she was pushing the poop with her hands down into the sink. It was really filthy. We told her not to do it, but she didn\u2019t listen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

At the end, my daughter developed a sickness. When she woke up one morning there was exanthema disease all over her body. We took her to the doctor at the camp. The doctor in the camp was highly worried. They started wearing masks and they told us that they were going to put us in quarantine. As I mentioned earlier we barely had two sets of clothes. This time they didn\u2019t let us take anything. They sent us only with the clothes we wore. We couldn\u2019t take any spare clothes. We already got used to leaving everything behind us, so we didn\u2019t even look back. I mean we don\u2019t even remember what we had and where we had it because we left our belongings everywhere. We didn\u2019t have anything to take with us anymore.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they brought us to the quarantine. It was a 3 floor building. There was only one room. We were all alone in the room. They took us into that room. They gave us special clothes with masks. They were wearing them, too. They were not talking and meeting with us in any manner in order to stay away from the disease of the child. What the disease was not clear. Also, they were bringing us special food that they made but because of the cultural differences, we couldn\u2019t eat them. It became evening and we got very hungry because we couldn\u2019t eat anything. My husband asked one of his friends to buy something from the Turkish grocery store for us and to bring it, perhaps biscuits or something similar. His friend got them and he said he brought it to the downstairs section of our house.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My husband went down the stairs. The security staff panicked, and started to run away from my husband. He told him to stop. My husband stayed where he was. The security guy told my husband\u2019s friend to bring the bag into the middle, an empty place where we stayed. His friend brought the bag and left it there. The security staff told him to go away. He went away and the security staff told my husband to go get the bag. When my husband went for the bag, the security staff went away running. We got so confused about what to do. Then my husband took the bag. Our kids ate them and got full.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We stayed at the quarantine for two days. After two days they told us that it was a wrong diagnosis. It wasn\u2019t a contagious disease. It was a foot and mouth disease. It happens because of germs, we happened to experience that too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In short, we are living in a city now. At the house I mentioned, my husband\u2019s friend\u2019s house. It became our house. When we got into the house first, we sat and slept in the kitchen for 2 days. We got used to staying in only one room. Believe me, we even forgot that the other rooms exist. We did not even think to go in there. I swear, we don\u2019t even think about people having a bedroom, living room, etc. We slept there for two days. On the 3rd day my husband and I started looking at each other and laughed. What were we doing? We could have slept in other rooms, too. We got used to living in only one room so bad.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, when we first got into the house, my son asked me \u2018\u2019Mom can I go in there? May I look into that room too?\u2019\u2019 Like that. We couldn\u2019t even believe it. I mean we are still like that. It feels like a landlord will come from inside and he will kick us out. We still can\u2019t believe it. We can\u2019t get used to living in the house. My daughter tours the rooms. She crawls right now. She tours, runs, gets happy, she claps. She goes into each room and she claps. She is one and a half right now, but because of being premature and not getting treated she has some developmental deficiency. God willing, we look for your prayers. Her eyes have problems. It is like that. I mean, this is our situation right now. We are trying to get used to the house and trying to return to living a normal life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(11)<\/b><\/p>\n

This is how we are right now. Thank God for this. May God forbid us from following the wrong path. We didn\u2019t ever think that we did something wrong. We didn\u2019t think our friends did wrong either. They always ask us if we are Gulenists. Yes, we were. I mean we never thought Fethullah Gulen did anything wrong. We always thought of him with great respect. There was nothing to change our minds. Thank God we always tried to stay and stand upright where we were. May God make us deserve it, God willing we stood upright. May God save our brothers and sisters, and Turkey too. May God show them the right path as soon as possible. May God give them justice. May God open the judges\u2019 hearts to the right decisions and save our brothers and sisters. May God save all oppressed people in every nation. Our sisters and brothers, not only for Turkey. It is what it is. By the way I want to tell a story I experienced at the court.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(12)<\/b><\/p>\n

The judge at the asylum court asked me something. He asked my thoughts on Germany. I told him \u2018\u2019I love you so much. I keep the records of all the money you give us (they give us something like 90 Euros of pocket money per person).\u2019\u2019\u00a0 I really take note of them. I said \u2018\u2019When I get rid of my situation and after I find a job, I would like to donate all of the money you gave me to your government.\u2019 Because we are not the type of people who take money and not return it. I told him \u2018I was keeping records of all the amounts we received.\u2019 I said \u2018I appreciate all German people and I will pay it back.\u2019 I said \u2018This will be my first job right after we get better financially.\u2019 The judge got emotional. I was crying as I spoke. He got emotional and said that \u2018There was no need for it.\u2019 He said \u2018\u2019We are not lending it to you. I know your Movement very well. You may take notes for the money you are given. You are doing right. But save it and give it to your friends who came after you.\u2019\u2019 This was very polite of him. Sincerely, May God help those people in any way. They are very warmhearted. They welcomed us very well. As I said, I appreciate them all. That\u2019s our situation right now. That\u2019s all I have to say.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(13)\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

My biggest ideal is getting to know the people here and let them get to know me as well. I met with my neighbor. As soon as we met, I said that \u2018We are Gulenists\u2019 and asked if they knew it. She was moved to tears because a few days before there had been news in the newspapers saying that there were around 1000 dead bodies belonging to Gulenists in the Evros River. She was affected by that. She said \u2018\u2019I know you very well from the news I read. I\u2019m always here for you whenever you need help.\u2019\u2019 She showed me her apartment and said which floor she lived on. She said \u2018\u2019You will get help from me whenever you want.\u2019\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This was one of my experiences I wanted to share. We came abroad with a fake passport. My newborn baby C. had a fake passport. We all stayed in the same room. Four people in the camp, all of us stayed in the same room. The camp has 650 people. 150 of them were our Gulenist friends. 150 people as 20 families stayed in separate rooms. Approximately 20 rooms were filled with our friends. Restrooms and bathrooms were shared together. 650 people using the same bathroom and same restroom. You are allowed to leave the camp 24 hours during weekdays, and 48 hours during weekends. People had nowhere to go, so they were staying inside the camp on weekdays. On weekends, refugee families who had been approved before us, or German residents invite a family from camp each week. That family spends the weekend in those houses with the host family.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There were 650 people in the refugee camp from different nationalities. 150 of them were our friends who had the same struggles like us. Of course there were a lot of different victimizations. For example, we had a friend, newly married and pregnant. They came across the Evros River without human smugglers. They bought an inflatable boat for themselves. They inflated it and passed across the river, even though she is pregnant.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I had another friend who had five kids. Her husband first came across the river. He came across by swimming in the river. Then he rented a house and a car from Greece. Then he came back for his wife and five kids with an inflatable boat. He took them with the boat and they passed across the river. Then they tried to get into Germany but they couldn\u2019t do it with 5 kids of course. First the husband went into Germany. Then his wife with five kids tried to come from the place where we had tried to come in.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t let them go from another seaport but somehow three of the kids got into the ship. It took two days to reach the country of Zwith the ship. Then, I don\u2019t know the details, but the mother somehow got into the same ferryboat. The oldest one of the kids is either13 or 14 years old girl. She took her two siblings with her and spoke in English to the authorities. Of course it caused suspicion, 3 kids with no guardians. She said \u2018\u2019We are Bulgarian. My mother\u2019s name is M (a fake name).\u2019\u2019 Then, she searched for her mother. She couldn\u2019t find her mother for the first day in the ferryboat. On the second day they ran into each other. At that point the authorities questioned her mother, asking her for her name, in order to make sure if she is her daughter or not. My friend is so natural, she said \u201cH\u201d. The daughter got so mad at her mother. After arriving in the country of Z, they traveled 1000 kilometers by highway to Germany. They were accepted, thank God. They are in their home.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew another couple who were in their 50s. They had 4 children. They left two of them in Turkey, two of them were with them. One of their daughters and their son were in Turkey, two of the daughters are with them. I heard weeping in the bathroom one day. I opened the door and asked her what was wrong. She said \u2018\u2019I can\u2019t take it anymore. I missed my children so much.\u2019\u2019 There were those kinds of cruelties.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then one day, a friend came along. She was very young. She was newly married. 2 months after the wedding, she was imprisoned. She was imprisoned for 9 months. One day she invited us to her room for a cup of tea. She told me something which I will never forget. \u2018\u2019We are still young, right sister?\u2019\u2019 she asked while looking out of the window, \u2018\u2019I don\u2019t believe that I am young anymore\u2019\u2019 she said. She was around 23, 24 years old. What we have been through has aged us a lot. It will pass, God willing. Good days will come, God willing. The sun will rise on the face of our country too. We believe in this. May God bless you for listening. This is all I have to say.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Turkish Transcription:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Back to list of interviews<\/a><\/p>\n

(1)<\/b><\/p>\n

Merhaba bu ses kayd\u0131n\u0131n dinlenmesine ve kullan\u0131lmas\u0131na \u015fahsi iznim var. Ben 1988 y\u0131l\u0131nda \u00f6\u011fretmen anne ve baban\u0131n \u00e7ocu\u011fu olarak A…da do\u011fdum. Ailemin ilk \u00e7ocu\u011fuyum. Bundan dolay\u0131 da sorumluluklar\u0131m daha fazlayd\u0131. 4 karde\u015fiz. Do\u011fduktan sonra annemin babam\u0131n memuriyet durumundan dolay\u0131 farkl\u0131 \u015fehirlerde ya\u015fad\u0131k. En son H. \u015fehrinde ya\u015farken orada anas\u0131n\u0131f\u0131na ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u00d6\u011fretmenimi \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fim i\u00e7in de en b\u00fcy\u00fck idealim anas\u0131n\u0131f\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmeni olmakt\u0131. Annem y\u0131llar sonra ilkokul 3’te tuttu\u011fum bir anket defterine bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bulmu\u015f, bana g\u00f6sterdi. Orada b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce ne olacaks\u0131n\u0131z diyor. Tabii ki anaokulu \u00f6\u011fretmeni olmak yaz\u0131yordu. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc benim i\u00e7in anaokulu \u00f6\u011fretmeni olmak \u00e7ok kutsald\u0131. Anne ve babam\u0131n \u00f6\u011fretmen olmas\u0131 hasebiyle \u00f6\u011fretmen olmak hep hayat\u0131m\u0131zda vard\u0131. \u00d6\u011frencilik hayat\u0131m\u0131 hep derecelerle bitirdim. \u0130lkokul ortaokul lise ve \u00fcniversiteye derece ile girdim. Ankara’da \u00f6nemli bir \u00fcniversitede okudum. B\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcm\u00fc derece ile bitirdim ve ilk \u00fcniversite memuriyet s\u0131navlar\u0131nda A…’ya \u00f6\u011fretmen olarak atand\u0131m. G\u00f6revimi yapmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. 8 y\u0131ll\u0131k \u00f6\u011fretmenlik hayat\u0131m oldu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu s\u00fcre\u00e7te \u00f6\u011frencilerime her zaman iyili\u011fi do\u011frulu\u011fu sevgiyi d\u00fcr\u00fcst olmay\u0131 vicdanl\u0131 olmay\u0131 adaletli olmay\u0131 ve ne olursa olsun yalan s\u00f6ylememeyi \u00f6\u011fretmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. A…’ya geldi\u011fim y\u0131l evlendim. E\u015fim de matematik \u00f6\u011fretmeniydi. Bir m\u00fcddet sonra e\u015fim \u00f6zel bir \u00fcniversitede idareci olarak g\u00f6reve ba\u015flad\u0131. E\u015fim de \u00e7ok do\u011fru d\u00fcr\u00fcst iyilikten yana bir insand\u0131. Sonras\u0131nda bir o\u011flumuz oldu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ve o\u011flumuz da 5 bu\u00e7uk ya\u015flar\u0131nda iken T\u00fcrkiye’de g\u00fczel olan her \u015fey bir anda tersine d\u00f6nmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Sebebini bilmedi\u011fimiz \u015fekilde ne ya\u015fan\u0131yordu ne oluyordu bilmiyorduk. Anlam veremiyorduk bir\u00e7ok \u015feye. 1 Temmuz’da benim okulum kapanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. 1 Temmuz’da okul kapand\u0131ktan sonra o\u011flumun oynamas\u0131 i\u00e7in A.’daki akrabalar\u0131ndan e\u015fimin 10 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki ye\u011fenini misafir olarak \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Cuma g\u00fcn\u00fc gelmi\u015fti cumartesi g\u00fcn\u00fc de ma\u00e7 olacakt\u0131. Cuma g\u00fcn\u00fc 15 Temmuz g\u00fcn\u00fcyd\u00fc. E\u015fimle birlikte bizim evimiz dubleks bir evdi.<\/span><\/p>\n

15 Temmuz g\u00fcn\u00fc, biz e\u015fimle birlikte alt katta televizyon izliyorduk \u00e7ay i\u00e7ip \u00e7ekirdek yiyorduk. O\u011flumla ye\u011fenim \u00fcst katta da oynuyorlard\u0131. Bir anda televizyonda haberler \u00e7\u0131kmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 ve darbe oldu\u011funu duyduk. Biz de ne oldu\u011funu anlayamad\u0131k. Anlamland\u0131ramad\u0131k \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc T\u00fcrkiye’de daha \u00f6nce olan darbeler \u00e7ok \u015fiddetli ge\u00e7mi\u015fti ve biz hi\u00e7 darbeye \u015fahidi olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Annemlerin evleri bize \u00e7ok yak\u0131nd\u0131. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131 da ald\u0131k annemlerin evine ge\u00e7tik. Hani onlar bizim b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz fikir alal\u0131m dan\u0131\u015fal\u0131m, nedir ne de\u011fildir anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k durumu. Sonras\u0131nda 15 Temmuz’da darbe olay\u0131 oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendik ve darbeyi yapanlar\u0131n da <\/span>Hizmet hareketine<\/span> mensup ki\u015filer oldu\u011fu s\u00f6ylendi. Yani \u00f6yle karalamalar yap\u0131ld\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda ben 22 Temmuz’da m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcm taraf\u0131ndan okula \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131ld\u0131m. Bu arada ben yedi bu\u00e7uk ayl\u0131k hamileydim. 28 haftal\u0131kt\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131m. Bu g\u00fcndemden dolay\u0131 \u00e7ok stresli bir hamilelik s\u00fcreci ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Ne olaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bilmiyorduk. Ben 22 Temmuz’da m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fcn yan\u0131na gitti\u011fimde m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcm \u00e7ok heyecanl\u0131, \u00e7ok stresli, panik bir haldeydi. Israrla hemen gelmemi istedi. Ben de ne oldu\u011funu anlamadan gittim. Bana a\u00e7\u0131\u011fa al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n belgesini verdi. A\u00e7\u0131\u011fa al\u0131n\u0131yorsun dedi. Bundan \u00f6ncesinde de benim \u00fcye oldu\u011fum bir sendika vard\u0131. T\u00fcrkiye’de herkes istedi\u011fi sendikaya \u00fcye olabilirdi. Bu devlet memurunun \u00f6zg\u00fcrce yapabilece\u011fi bir hakk\u0131yd\u0131. \u00d6\u011fretmen olarak ben de \u00f6zg\u00fcr irademle bir sendikaya \u00fcye olmu\u015ftum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sendikan\u0131n hakk\u0131m\u0131 savunaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kendi ideallerine uygun oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. 15 Temmuz \u00f6ncesi de m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcm bana s\u00fcrekli mobing uygulad\u0131 okulda. S\u00fcrekli odas\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131p kap\u0131y\u0131 kapat\u0131p art\u0131k vazge\u00e7, bu sendikay\u0131 b\u0131rak. Bak sana \u015f\u00f6yle yapt\u0131r\u0131r\u0131m, Bak sana b\u00f6yle yapt\u0131r\u0131r\u0131m diye s\u00fcrekli tehdit ederdi beni. Fakat bunu kimseye ifade edemiyordum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ifade etsem de yank\u0131 bulaca\u011f\u0131na inanmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bu \u015fekilde \u00e7ok fazla mobbinge u\u011frad\u0131m. M\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcm beni di\u011fer arkada\u015flar\u0131mdan \u00f6tekile\u015ftirmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Bu da beni psikolojik olarak \u00e7ok fazla y\u0131pratt\u0131. Sonras\u0131nda \u0130\u015fte bu 22 Temmuz\u2019daki g\u00f6revden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rma belgesini verirken bunu sana veriyorum dedi. Normalde de m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcm benim evime gelip gitmi\u015f bir insand\u0131. Bunu vermek benim i\u00e7in \u00e7ok kolay dedi ama ke\u015fke kar\u015f\u0131mdaki sen olmasayd\u0131n dedi. Neden hocam dedim. Sonu\u00e7ta sen de bir \u015feyler yedik i\u00e7tik dedi. Ben de helal olsun hocam \u00f6nemli de\u011fil dedim. Belgeyi verirken bir \u015fey de s\u00f6ylemek isterim dedi. Buna da ben sebep oldum bilmeni isterim dedi. Bu c\u00fcmle bana \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r geldi. Zaten ben giderken hep dua etmi\u015ftim Allah’\u0131m l\u00fctfen g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc durabileyim. Hamileyim bir yandan hi\u00e7 kimsenin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda zay\u0131f d\u00fc\u015fmek istemedim. Bir de buna ben sebep oldum diye s\u00f6ylemesi ger\u00e7ekten beni \u00e7ok y\u0131pratt\u0131. Zarf\u0131 ald\u0131m ben.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda do\u011fum sanc\u0131lar\u0131m ba\u015flad\u0131. Allah \u015fahit m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcn kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bir damla g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6kmedim ve dimdik durdum. Sonras\u0131nda do\u011fum sanc\u0131lar\u0131yla beraber hastaneye gittim. Do\u011fumu geciktirmek i\u00e7in i\u011fne verdiler. Bana s\u00fcrekli i\u011fneler yapt\u0131lar. bu arada \u0130ki g\u00fcn sonra 4 g\u00fcn sonra da e\u015fimin \u00fcniversiteden ihra\u00e7 edildi\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendik. E\u015fim de ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde i\u015fsiz kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. 5,5 ya\u015f\u0131nda bir o\u011flumuz bir de yeni do\u011facak bebe\u011fimiz vard\u0131. Bu s\u00fcre zarf\u0131nda sa\u011fl\u0131k sigortam\u0131z ve maa\u015f\u0131m\u0131z yoktu. Annemlerin evinde kal\u0131yorduk. sonra \u00f6\u011frendik ki \u00fcniversiteye tekrar operasyon olmu\u015f ve t\u00fcm \u00fcniversitedeki kadroyu toplam\u0131\u015flar. Bizim evimize de gitmi\u015fler kap\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 k\u0131rm\u0131\u015flar. Evimizi halla\u00e7 pamu\u011funa \u00e7evirmi\u015fler. E\u015fimle ben annemlerde oldu\u011fumuz i\u00e7in bizi bulamam\u0131\u015flar. E\u015fim bunu duyunca ba\u015fka bir arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na gitti. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u011fer o evde kalsayd\u0131 oray\u0131 da basabilirler diye tedirgin oldu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben o\u011flumla kald\u0131m. Kalakald\u0131m yani. Sonras\u0131nda do\u011fum dedi\u011fim gibi ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 zaten. S\u00fcrekli i\u011fne veriliyordu bana i\u011fneler yap\u0131l\u0131yordu. 2 hafta sonra da zaten do\u011fumum oldu. Stresten dolay\u0131 \u00e7ocuk daha fazla duramad\u0131 ve erken do\u011fdu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu arada e\u015fim hakk\u0131nda yakalama karar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ben de do\u011fumhaneye e\u015fimin yakalama karar\u0131 oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in annemle de g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015femedik. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar\u0131 da riske atmak istemedim. T\u00fcrkiye’deki adalet sisteminden dolay\u0131 her an herkesi her \u015feyi her sebeple i\u00e7eriye alabiliyorlard\u0131. Ben de bir sabah tek ba\u015f\u0131ma kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir evde uyand\u0131m o\u011flum da yok. Hi\u00e7 kimsem yoktu Allah’tan ba\u015fka. Sabah erken kalkt\u0131m. Namazimi k\u0131ld\u0131m. Sonra arabay\u0131 ald\u0131m. Arabay\u0131 s\u00fcrerek dualar\u0131m\u0131 okuyarak tek ba\u015f\u0131ma do\u011fuma gittim. Do\u011fumhanede herkesin e\u015fi vard\u0131 yan\u0131nda. Akrabas\u0131 annesi ben yaln\u0131zd\u0131m. Herkes hem\u015fireler ebeler e\u015fimi sordu. Kimsen yok mu. E\u015fimin yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131nda oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledim onlara. Kimsem yoktu ger\u00e7ekten Allah’tan ba\u015fka. Sonra k\u0131z\u0131m do\u011fdu. Kuvezde kalmas\u0131 gerekiyordu. Erken do\u011fdu\u011fu i\u00e7in sa\u011fl\u0131k problemleri vard\u0131 ama ben \u00e7ok korktu\u011fum i\u00e7in kendim hakk\u0131nda da ne oldu\u011funu bilmedi\u011fim i\u00e7in \u00e7ocu\u011fu al\u0131p apar topar hastaneden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tekrar ba\u015fka bir eve geldim. Yaln\u0131z kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir eve e\u015fim \u00e7ocu\u011fu g\u00f6remedi. O\u011flum g\u00f6rmedi. Annemler bilmiyor. Ben tek ba\u015f\u0131ma do\u011fum yapt\u0131m. Yaln\u0131zd\u0131m orada. Sonra bir hafta sonra annemlerin evine gitmeye karar verdim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc tek ba\u015f\u0131ma beceremiyordum. Yani hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi yaln\u0131z ba\u015f\u0131ma beceremiyordum. Annemlerin evine gittim. 1 hafta sonra da o\u011flum ba\u015fka bir yerdeydi onu getirdiler. 2 hafta sonra karde\u015fini g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f oldu\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(2)<\/b><\/p>\n

2 hafta sonra o\u011flum karde\u015fini g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f oldu. \u0130kimiz yaln\u0131zd\u0131k o\u011flum ve ben. Yani e\u015fim yoktu. O\u011flum babas\u0131na \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn bir \u00e7ocuk. Her \u015feyini babas\u0131yla halleder. Hatta o\u011flumun t\u0131rnaklar\u0131n\u0131 bile ben hi\u00e7 kesti\u011fimi hat\u0131rlam\u0131yorum. Babas\u0131 da ona \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn. Banyosunu yapt\u0131r\u0131r t\u0131rnaklar\u0131n\u0131 keser. O da babas\u0131na \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn \u00e7ok seviyor. Fakat g\u00f6rmedi\u011fi i\u00e7in bir s\u00fcre sonra \u00e7ok y\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131. Ama \u00e7ok g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir \u00e7ocuk bana anlatmak istemez hi\u00e7bir \u015feyini. Arada soruyordu anne babam neden yok? Neden babam\u0131z yok hani? Arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n babas\u0131 var benim neden yok? Anne babam nereye gitti diye. Bir s\u00fcre sonra o\u011flum alt\u0131na ka\u00e7\u0131rmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. S\u0131k s\u0131k alt\u0131na ka\u00e7\u0131rmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 ve dayanam\u0131yordu \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc baba diye s\u0131\u00e7r\u0131yordu gece uykusundan uyan\u0131yordu ve yan\u0131mda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bebe\u011fim var. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilemiyordum art\u0131k. E\u015fim ile bulu\u015fmaya karar verdik. E\u015fim o\u011flumu ald\u0131 2 g\u00fcn yan\u0131nda tuttu. \u0130ki g\u00fcn sonra o\u011flum yine a\u011flayarak geldi. Anne ben yine babam\u0131 g\u00f6remeyece\u011fim diyerek a\u011flayarak geldi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Biz hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bilmiyorduk. Ne oldu\u011funu anlayamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131k dedi\u011fim gibi. 15 temmuz g\u00fcn\u00fc biz \u00e7ay i\u00e7erken \u00e7ekirdek yerken bir anda hain ilan edildik. Vatan haini ilan edildik. Neye u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131k. O zamana kadar Milli E\u011fitim’den benim olsun e\u015fimin olsun bir s\u00fcr\u00fc ba\u015far\u0131 belgemiz vard\u0131. Bizzat milli e\u011fitim bakan\u0131n\u0131n bana verdi\u011fi takdir belgeleri vard\u0131. Mesle\u011fimde birincilik \u00f6d\u00fclleri vard\u0131. Ben T\u00fcrkiye’de 3. A…’da 1. Bir okulda \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum. O okulun gurubundayd\u0131m. \u00c7ok ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131 okulumuz. Ben de ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131m. Dedi\u011fim gibi hep derecelerim vard\u0131. Ama bir g\u00fcnde cahil ilan edildim. Bir g\u00fcnde vatan haini oldum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tabii \u00f6\u011frencilerim velilerim \u00e7ok \u015fok oldular. Yani inanamad\u0131lar. Arayan velim \u00e7ok oldu benim. Hocam yani b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil, biz sizin sonuna kadar yan\u0131n\u0131zday\u0131z bir yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131k olmu\u015ftur. Olamaz biz size sahip \u00e7\u0131kal\u0131m hocam, b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey olamaz, itiraz edin dava a\u00e7\u0131n. Ben zaten davalar\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m, itirazlar\u0131m\u0131 yapt\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda i\u015fte o\u011flum geldikten sonra, babas\u0131ndan geldikten sonra yine k\u00f6t\u00fc olmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Bu sefer biz bulu\u015fmam\u0131z gerekti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k evlad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kaybedecektik. Yani art\u0131k \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc olmu\u015ftu zay\u0131flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yemek yemek istemiyordu. Anne b\u00fcy\u00fcsem bile kim g\u00f6recek babam olmad\u0131ktan sonra diyordu. Her \u015feyi art\u0131k babas\u0131 ile ilintili hale getirmi\u015fti. Yani \u00e7ok y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yordu \u00e7ocuk o y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131rken ben de s\u00fcrekli a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Ben de zaten yeni do\u011fum yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Kuca\u011f\u0131mda bebek ba\u015f edemiyordum iki \u00e7ocukla. E\u015fimin yard\u0131m\u0131na ihtiyac\u0131m vard\u0131 ama o da yoktu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra bulu\u015ftuk A…’da. Sonra ba\u015fka adreslerde kalmaya devam ettik. Ba\u015fka adreslerde kal\u0131rken hi\u00e7 d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131kmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00fcnler oldu. \u00c7\u0131kam\u0131yorduk. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u011fer \u00e7\u0131ksayd\u0131k bizi tan\u0131yan birileriyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmaktan korktuk. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc herkes herkesi \u015fikayet ediyordu. T\u00fcrkiye’de hi\u00e7 su\u00e7unuz yokken bir anda kendinizi idam mahkumu hissedebiliyordunuz. Olabiliyordunuz. Nitekim \u00f6yle olan arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z da vard\u0131. Evden \u00e7\u0131kamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in ben de anas\u0131n\u0131f\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmeni oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in s\u00fcrekli o\u011fluma etkinlikler yapt\u0131rmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Fakat maddi y\u00f6nden de tabii ki b\u00fct\u00e7emiz yetmiyordu art\u0131k. Tabii ki elimizde avucumuzda olan \u015feyler \u00e7ok k\u0131s\u0131tl\u0131yd\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben do\u011fumdan sonraki 40 g\u00fcnl\u00fck lohusal\u0131k a\u015famas\u0131ndan sonra 40.g\u00fcn\u00fc Deniz kenar\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcm o\u011flumu biraz de\u011fi\u015fiklik olsun, a\u00e7\u0131ls\u0131n rahatlas\u0131n diye. Orada ta\u015f toplamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Deniz ta\u015flar\u0131 ilgimizi \u00e7ekti. Sonra onlardan ta\u015f boyama yapmaya ba\u015flad\u0131k. \u0130lk ba\u015fta evde etkinlik olarak yap\u0131yorduk. Sonra internette ara\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m de\u011fi\u015ftik ta\u015f boyama sanatlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendim. Videolar\u0131n\u0131 izledim. Ta\u015f boyamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. O ta\u015flar\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 bebe\u011fimi uyutup hemen ta\u015f\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na ge\u00e7iyordum. Ben boyuyordum o\u011flum spreylerini s\u0131k\u0131yordu ben iplerini tak\u0131yordum. Ertesi g\u00fcn\u00fc pazara \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yorduk o\u011flumla ikimiz. Bebe\u011fi babas\u0131na b\u0131rak\u0131yordum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc babas\u0131 d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131kamazd\u0131. Babas\u0131n\u0131n dedi\u011fim gibi yakalama karar\u0131 vard\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Biz o\u011flumla pazarlarda dola\u015f\u0131rken bir g\u00fcn bir velim ile kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131m.O zaman ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7ok gururum incindi. Pazarda biz ta\u015f sat\u0131yorduk bir liraya iki liraya elli kuru\u015fa. O\u011flum ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu gelin 1 lira 1 lira diye. Eline al\u0131yordu insanlar ta\u015f\u0131 ama buna bir lira vermeyelim indirimi yap\u0131n. Yan\u0131 bir liral\u0131k ta\u015ftan indirim istiyorlard\u0131. O zaman o\u011flum 3 tanesini al\u0131n 1 lira verin diyordu, 5 tanesini al\u0131n 1 lira ama 1 lira verin bize diyordu. Sonra az \u00e7ok oradan param\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131k. Yani \u00e7ok fazla olmad\u0131 ama en az\u0131ndan d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fte o\u011fluma k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir oyuncak alabiliyordum. S\u00fcrpriz yumurta alabiliyordum. Ekme\u011fimizi alabiliyordum. Bu bize \u00e7ok sevin\u00e7 veriyordu, \u00e7ok mutlu oluyordum. O\u011flum g\u00fcld\u00fck\u00e7e ben de g\u00fcl\u00fcyordum. \u0130nsan\u0131n evlad\u0131 \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc hayat\u0131nda.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda t\u00fcp\u00fcm\u00fcz bitti t\u00fcp almak istedik. Bizden kimli\u011fimiz\u0131 de istediler \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc T\u00fcrkiye’de yeni bir kanun \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Art\u0131k t\u00fcp almak i\u00e7in su almak i\u00e7in kimlik g\u00f6stermek gerekiyordu ama biz kimli\u011fimizi g\u00f6sterirsek ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za ne gelece\u011fini bilmiyorduk. T\u00fcp\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc alamad\u0131k sonra su ihtiyac\u0131 var \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7e\u015fmelerde \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc su ak\u0131yor. Yeni do\u011fmu\u015f bebe\u011fim var. Ona da su i\u00e7irmem laz\u0131m temiz su almak istedi\u011fimizde yine kimlik sordular. Yine kimlik vermekten \u00e7ekindik.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda \u00e7ember bizim i\u00e7in \u00e7ok daralm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 art\u0131k bizim i\u00e7in. \u00c7e\u015fme suyundan \u00e7ocuklara i\u00e7irdi\u011fim de \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r hasta oldular. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131 hastaneye g\u00f6t\u00fcremedik. Ba\u015fka bir \u015fehre \u0130stanbul’a ge\u00e7meye karar verdik. En az\u0131ndan daha b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u015fehir, daha rahat kaybolma imkan\u0131m\u0131z olur diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Oraya da gizli sakl\u0131 yollarla 2 araba \u015feklinde gitmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.E\u015fim ba\u015fka bir yoldan, ben ba\u015fka bir yoldan. \u00c7ocuklarla sonra \u0130stanbul’a gitti\u011fimizde bir evde arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n evinde kalmaya ba\u015flad\u0131k. Arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z kendisi kalm\u0131yordu. O \u015fehir d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131. Biz onun evindeydik.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

O\u011flumun bir g\u00fcn \u00e7ok ciddi di\u015fi a\u011fr\u0131maya ba\u015flad\u0131. \u0130nan\u0131lmaz derecede di\u015fi a\u011fr\u0131yor ve \u00e7are bulam\u0131yorsunuz. \u0130lac\u0131n\u0131z yok, doktora gidemiyorsunuz. Bize bir tane doktor \u00f6nerdiler di\u015f doktoru olarak, ona giderseniz o hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde resmi belgenizi almadan yapacak dediler. Tabii ben hemen o\u011flumu ald\u0131m ko\u015fa ko\u015fa gittim fakat o ki\u015finin doktor olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sonradan anlad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o\u011flumun di\u015fini yapmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda a\u011fz\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fc yanaklar\u0131 her taraf\u0131 kan i\u00e7inde kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. O\u011flum \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu doktor yata\u011f\u0131nda o di\u015f yerinde. Anne ne olur beni kurtar diyordu ama ben hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapam\u0131yordum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onun doktor oldu\u011funu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in di\u015flerini tedavi ettiriyoruz anneci\u011fim. Sabret anneci\u011fim diyordum. O halde iken kanl\u0131 haldeyken doktor dedi ki al \u00e7ocu\u011funu git dedi.Bu ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131p duruyor ben buna hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapamam dedi. Ben doktor bey ben susturaca\u011f\u0131m ne olur siz yap\u0131n dedim. Ondan sonra bir \u015feyler kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131 koydu di\u015finin \u00fcst\u00fcne. Tabi hi\u00e7 etki etmedi. Eve geldik kanlar\u0131n\u0131 siliyoruz \u00e7ocuk ilk defa bu kadar \u00e7ok kan g\u00f6rd\u00fc yani. Ama \u00e7ocu\u011fum hi\u00e7 iyile\u015fmedi ve bizden bir s\u00fcr\u00fc para ald\u0131 bu ki\u015fi. Sonras\u0131nda ba\u015fka bir doktor yine olabilir dediler ona gittik onun vesilesiyle \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcld\u00fc.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ama bu t\u00fcr ma\u011fduriyetleri biz defalarca ya\u015fad\u0131k. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n a\u015f\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 yapt\u0131ramad\u0131m. Dedi\u011fim gibi erken do\u011fdu\u011fu i\u00e7in k\u00fcvezde kalamad\u0131. Sonras\u0131nda bir g\u00fcn otururken o\u011flumun oyunca\u011f\u0131 yoktu hi\u00e7 ve \u00e7ok s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yordu. Biz de alabilecek durumda de\u011filiz o s\u00fcre\u00e7te. \u00c7oraplardan oyuncak yapma fikri akl\u0131ma geldi. Alan\u0131mla da ilgili oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in ondan yapmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Sonras\u0131nda \u00f6rg\u00fcden de mi yapsam patik ipi mi alsam derken amig\u00fcr\u00fcmi \u00f6rg\u00fc i\u015fine ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u00d6rg\u00fc oyuncaklar\u0131 \u00f6rmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. Sonra hapisteki arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 i\u00e7in ordum onlara hediye ettim. Sonra bunlar\u0131n sat\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da ba\u015fka bir arkada\u015f\u0131m vesilesiyle yapmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Yine oradan kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z para ile biraz ge\u00e7inmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(3)<\/b><\/p>\n

Biz art\u0131k yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131na gitmeye karar verdik \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc T\u00fcrkiye’de kal\u0131rsak neyeu\u011frayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bilmiyorduk. E\u015fimle ayn\u0131 vazifede olan arkada\u015flar\u0131ndan bir tanesi A…’da yakalanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yakaland\u0131ktan sonra uzun bir s\u00fcre ondan haber alamad\u0131k ve sonra \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimizde ona i\u015fkence yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f i\u015fkence sonunda soda \u015fi\u015fesiyle kal\u00e7as\u0131na yap\u0131lan i\u015fkence sonucunda abimizin ba\u011f\u0131rsaklar\u0131 parampar\u00e7a olmu\u015f. Yo\u011fun bak\u0131mda yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendik sonra psikolojik olarak tabii ki mahvoldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendik.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu arada benim kendi annemlerin evini bast\u0131 polisler. Evlerini arad\u0131lar. K\u0131z\u0131n nerede, o\u011flun nerde, damad\u0131n nerde ,e\u015fimi sormu\u015flar beni sormu\u015flar. Bundan sonra onlar\u0131 bulursak \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc olacak ama bir an \u00f6nce bize vermeniz laz\u0131m. Sonra babamla oturup konu\u015fmay\u0131 denemi\u015f polisler laf alamay\u0131nca. E\u011fer bize k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylersen o ona hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmayaca\u011f\u0131z sadece gelsin bize ifade versin b\u00f6yle ka\u00e7arsa ne zamana kadar ka\u00e7acak, kurtulmak istiyorsa bize gelsin. Biz adil insanlar\u0131z. Mutlaka onlar\u0131 kurtaraca\u011f\u0131z ama k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z bize gelsin. Hep bunu s\u00f6ylemi\u015f. Babam da ben g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcyorum siz nereden buluyorsan\u0131z bulun demi\u015f.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Aradan bir s\u00fcre ge\u00e7tikten sonra tekrar (K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n ismi C.) aradan bir s\u00fcre ge\u00e7tikten sonra polisler annemin evini bas\u0131yorlar. Annemlerin evini yine halla\u00e7 pamu\u011fu gibi arad\u0131ktan sonra bu sefer demi\u015f polis: Biz k\u0131z\u0131n i\u00e7in ya da damad\u0131n i\u00e7in gelmedik Biz C. i\u00e7in geldik. Annem tabii bayg\u0131nl\u0131k ge\u00e7iriyor. Ya ne diyorsunuz siz ne yapacaks\u0131n\u0131z k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bebe\u011fi? Olsun bize o da yeterli. T. yok mu o da bize yeterli. O\u011flum. Onlar olsa onlar bize yeterdi zaten \u0130\u015fte biz k\u0131z\u0131na ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7ok iyi biliriz gibi tehdit de savurunca babam\u0131n kalbi s\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131yor. Annem bayg\u0131nl\u0131k ge\u00e7iriyor. Bunlar\u0131n bebeklerine bile ne yapacak demek ki bu insanlar diye y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yolar. O s\u0131rada merdivenlerden kar\u015f\u0131 kom\u015funun 10 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki k\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. Merdivenden \u00e7\u0131karken kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k anneme de merhaba teyze diyor. \u00d6yle deyince polisler o k\u0131z\u0131 al\u0131yorlar ve ekip arabas\u0131na bindiriyorlar. \u0130\u015fte C.’yi bulduk. Ya\u015fas\u0131n \u00c7. bu diye bir sevin\u00e7le. Annemler tabii \u015fok oluyorlar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc hem yeni do\u011fan bebe\u011fi arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyen hem de kar\u015f\u0131 kom\u015funun 10 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki k\u0131z\u0131 \u00c7. diye al\u0131yorlar ekip arabas\u0131na. Kom\u015fu iniyor yalvar\u0131yor dil d\u00f6k\u00fcyor ne olur bu benim k\u0131z\u0131m bak\u0131n ne C.si bak\u0131n kimli\u011fi burada diyor da ondan sonra \u00e7ocu\u011fu kurtar\u0131yor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bunlar\u0131 da duyduktan sonra \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131za kadar g\u00f6z diktiklerini duyduk. Yurt d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131z gerekti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck ve karar verdik. Karar verdikten sonra k\u0131z\u0131m yeni do\u011fdu\u011fu i\u00e7in onun pasaportu yoktu. Bizim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn de pasaportu vard\u0131 Schengenleri vard\u0131 Amerika vizeleri vard\u0131. Biz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ok seyahat eden bir aileydik ama k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n pasaportu yoktu. Daha sonras\u0131nda noterden muvafakatname almak gerekti\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendik pasaport \u00e7\u0131kartmak i\u00e7in. Bu tabii ki riskli bir i\u015flemdi. Benim hakk\u0131mda yakalama karar\u0131 olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyorduk e\u015fim hakk\u0131nda vard\u0131 ama benim hakk\u0131mda bilmiyorduk.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yine de t\u00fcm riski g\u00f6ze al\u0131p pasaportumuz olmas\u0131n\u0131 istedik. Alal\u0131m dedik ve ben pasaport almak i\u00e7in k\u0131z\u0131mla beraber gittim. O\u011flumu da anneannesine b\u0131rakt\u0131m. \u0130stanbul’da bir notere gittim. Annemi de \u0130stanbul’a \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Notere gittim ve e\u015fim de plan\u0131m\u0131za g\u00f6re kap\u0131da bekleyecekti. \u0130\u015flemler bitince son i\u015flemde imza a\u015famas\u0131nda e\u015fim gelecekti, imza atacakt\u0131. Memur beni \u00e7ok oyalad\u0131 i\u00e7eride. \u0130\u015flemlerinizi yap\u0131yorum yap\u0131yorum diye. Benimle beraber giren herkes gitti ama bir bu\u00e7uk saat oldu hala benim i\u015flemlerimi bitmedi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi. Sonras\u0131nda bu bir bu\u00e7uk saatin sonunda tamam dedi e\u015finizi aray\u0131n gelebilir. Ben e\u015fimi arad\u0131m. Gelebilirsin derken e\u015fimin bir anda hiiiii dedi\u011fini duydum ve y\u00fcz\u00fcme kapand\u0131 telefon. Telefonun kapanmas\u0131 ile i\u00e7eriye bir araba dolusu polisin girmesi bir oldu notere.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Noter \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir yer 8 metrekare veya 5 metrekare bir alan. O kadar k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck. Ve ben bir masada duruyorum kuca\u011f\u0131mda bebe\u011fim. Polis geldi masalara vurmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Nerede O dedi e\u015fimin ad\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Beni sordu. Ben bir anda hemen \u00e7ocu\u011fumu ald\u0131m. Allah’\u0131m dedim l\u00fctfen b\u00f6yle bitmesin bizim hikayemiz. B\u00f6yle bitmesin Allah’\u0131m ben dayanamam dedim. L\u00fctfen beni \u00e7ocu\u011fumdan ay\u0131rma bebe\u011fim \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck. L\u00fctfen Allah’\u0131m dedim. Biz dayanamay\u0131z sen bize yard\u0131m et dedim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dua okuyarak masalar\u0131n alt\u0131ndan ka\u00e7maya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Arkamda polisler kap\u0131y\u0131 tutan polis vard\u0131 koluyla kap\u0131ya dayanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 onun kolunun alt\u0131ndan ka\u00e7t\u0131m. Ve polisler…Hani o anda Allah ger\u00e7ekten g\u00f6stermedi beni. \u00c7\u0131kt\u0131m ama nereye gidece\u011fimi bilmiyorum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Koskocaman bir \u015fehirdeyim. Bilmedi\u011fin bir \u015fehir. Hemen yan\u0131mda bir market gibi bir \u015feyin kap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. A\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r kapan\u0131r bir kap\u0131. Onun i\u00e7ine girdim. \u00c7ok \u00f6nceden kapanm\u0131\u015f bir marketmi\u015f fakat kap\u0131s\u0131 bozuk oldu\u011fundan kendili\u011finden a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r kapan\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Girdim.Raflar\u0131 bo\u015f ama kasalar var. Kasan\u0131n orada saklan\u0131yorum k\u0131z\u0131mla. K\u0131z\u0131m normalde \u00e7ok ba\u011f\u0131ran bir \u00e7ocuk ama b\u00f6yle bir hal geldi ki \u00e7ocu\u011fum hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde ses \u00e7\u0131karmad\u0131. Fakat bu seferde kasan\u0131n orada durdu\u011fum i\u00e7in bir de bunlar h\u0131rs\u0131z m\u0131 diye karde\u015flerimin ad\u0131n\u0131 lekelemek kendi ad\u0131ma lekelemek istemedim. Tekrar l\u00fctfen Allah\u0131m yard\u0131m et dedim ve \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m oradan.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Arkamda hala polisler var. Ve ger\u00e7ekten yani yemin ediyorum ben da\u011f gibi bir yere t\u0131rmand\u0131m ama sonras\u0131nda defalarca gittim oraya orada da\u011f falan yoktu. Yani o da\u011f gibi yere t\u0131rmand\u0131m. Hale \u015feklinde b\u00f6yle hilal \u015feklinde bir a\u011fa\u00e7 kabu\u011fu vard\u0131. Biz k\u0131z\u0131mla ikimiz onun i\u00e7ine girdik oradan noteri izliyordum ben. Polisler beni ar\u0131yor. Ben onlar\u0131 oradan izledim. Yani dualar okuyordum s\u00fcrekli. \u00c7ocu\u011fum bu arada uyuya kald\u0131. Benim kendime de yani sek\u0131ne inmi\u015fti \u00fczerimize. Ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7ok rahatt\u0131k. Yani hi\u00e7bir korkumuz yoktu. Sanki biri yan\u0131m\u0131zda gibiydi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda bir al\u0131\u015fveri\u015f merkezine gitmeye karar verdim. En az\u0131ndan kalabal\u0131k bir ortam oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in. \u00c7ok yak\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131da bir al\u0131\u015fveri\u015f merkezi vard\u0131. Hemen oraya gittim. Oraya girdi\u011fimde de g\u00fcvenlik\u00e7ilerin anonslar\u0131ndan beni tarif eden i\u015fte ye\u015fil ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc kuca\u011f\u0131nda bebe\u011fi olan bir kad\u0131n girdi aran\u0131yor diye anonslar\u0131 duymaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Hemen bir ma\u011fazaya girdim ba\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcm\u00fc de\u011fi\u015ftirdim. Sonra bebek arabas\u0131 kiralad\u0131m ve k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 o arabaya koydum. Normal sanki rahat ya\u015fayan bir insanm\u0131\u015f gibi y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. Tabii bu arada anonslar her yerde ve bu arada ben e\u015fimin al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Hani benim y\u00fcz\u00fcmden tuzak kurdular e\u015fim de al\u0131nd\u0131 orada yakaland\u0131. Ben ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilemiyorum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra eve d\u00f6nmeye karar verdim. Eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde kap\u0131y\u0131 kimse a\u00e7mad\u0131. Annem ve o\u011flum olmal\u0131yd\u0131 ama kimse kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131yordu. Art\u0131k her \u015feyin bitti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc san\u0131yorum ki e\u015fimi ald\u0131lar. E\u015fime de evimizi buldurttular, eve gelince de o\u011flumla annemi al\u0131p beni istiyorlar san\u0131yorum. Art\u0131k orada hani her\u015feyin bitti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Sonra asans\u00f6rden annem \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Annemin aya\u011f\u0131 da k\u0131r\u0131kt\u0131 o s\u0131rada. K\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. O da T.yi a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 indirmi\u015f. O\u011flumu a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya indirmi\u015f me\u011ferse, gezdirmeye \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015flar. \u00c7ok sevindim tabii hemen eve gelince. Neye u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu arada e\u015fime ne oldu ne bitti hi\u00e7bir fikrim yok. Gidip sormak hakk\u0131m bile yok yani karakola gidip sorsam beni de al\u0131rlar biliyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ne yapmam gerekti\u011fini bilmiyorum. Yar\u0131m saat 45 dakika sonra Kap\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131. E\u015fim kap\u0131da. Ben \u015fok oldum tabi. E\u015fime \u0130\u00e7eri gel diyorum. E\u015fim kaslar\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131yor, de\u011fi\u015fik y\u00fcz hareketleri yap\u0131yor. Allah’\u0131m acaba ne oldu e\u015fime diyorum. E\u015fim daha \u00f6nce y\u00fcz felci ge\u00e7irmi\u015fti acaba stresten yine mi y\u00fcz felci ge\u00e7iriyor diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Ya l\u00fctfen gelsene i\u00e7eri diyorum. Dizlerine kapand\u0131m a\u011fl\u0131yorum. Yok gelmiyor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Me\u011ferse o da san\u0131yormu\u015f ki polisler beni orada yakalad\u0131lar eve getirdiler. Tuzak kuruyorlar e\u015fimi alacaklar san\u0131yormu\u015f. Sonra ger\u00e7ekten Allah yard\u0131m etti e\u015fim anlad\u0131 durumu i\u00e7eri geldi. Her \u015feyini toplad\u0131 benim gitmem laz\u0131m dedi \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 gitti. Sonra yani ne oldu\u011funu anlayamad\u0131k tekrar. Ben e\u015fimi aramaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc o da \u015fok olmu\u015ftu. \u0130nanamad\u0131 yani. E\u015fimi ba\u015fka bir sitenin otopark\u0131nda buldum. Her yeri ar\u0131yordum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc deli gibi bulmam laz\u0131m diye. Her \u015feyi \u00e7olu\u011fu \u00e7ocu\u011fu b\u0131rakt\u0131m e\u015fimi ar\u0131yorum. E\u015fim iki tane araban\u0131n aras\u0131nda kapal\u0131 otoparkta s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f orada telefonu ile arkada\u015flar\u0131na haber veriyor. O sahne beni \u00e7ok bitirdi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u015fim ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7ok temiz bir insand\u0131 arabalar\u0131n aras\u0131na saklanacak kadar bir \u015fey i\u015flemedik biz (A\u011fl\u0131yor).Onun o halini g\u00f6r\u00fcnce \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcm hala g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde canlan\u0131yor. sonra onu ald\u0131m oradan. Anlatt\u0131m ba\u015f\u0131mdan ge\u00e7enleri. \u0130nanamad\u0131k Ben de o da. Sonra eve geldik. Sonra annem tekrar memlekete A…’ya gitti. Biz yurt d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kmak i\u00e7in haz\u0131rl\u0131klara ba\u015flad\u0131k.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pasaport olsa da olmasa da \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131z gerekti\u011fine inand\u0131k. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k her yerde aran\u0131yorduk. Sonra annem eve gitti bir hafta sonra annem bir ak\u015fam arad\u0131. K\u0131z\u0131m baban\u0131 ald\u0131lar. Nas\u0131l ald\u0131lar anne. Eve geliyorlar e\u015fimi ve beni bulamay\u0131nca babam\u0131 alm\u0131\u015flar polisler. Babam\u0131n hi\u00e7bir su\u00e7u yok hi\u00e7bir ba\u011flant\u0131s\u0131 hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi yok. Sonra babam\u0131n hapse at\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendik. Ama durumunu, su\u00e7u ne hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bilmiyoruz. Annem ya\u015fl\u0131. Bir tane k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z karde\u015fim var liseye giden. K\u0131z karde\u015fim s\u00fcrekli sinir krizleri ge\u00e7iriyor. Benim babam ve annem de ger\u00e7ekten ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmenler. Y\u0131l\u0131n \u00f6\u011fretmeni se\u00e7ilmi\u015f insanlar. \u0130dareciydi babam hi\u00e7 b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey g\u00f6rmedik hi\u00e7 bizim evimize polis girmedi. Yani hukuk d\u0131\u015f\u0131 kanun d\u0131\u015f\u0131 hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz olmad\u0131. Sicillerimiz tertemiz.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tabii k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z karde\u015fim kald\u0131ramad\u0131 bunu. Psikolojik olarak \u00e7ok ciddi rahats\u0131zl\u0131k ya\u015famaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Babam tabii i\u00e7erde. Bu arada babamdan haber alam\u0131yoruz. Avukatla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrm\u00fcyorlar. Babam\u0131n ne ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyoruz. Babamdan \u00f6nce al\u0131nan ki\u015finin zaten cenazesi \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Ne ya\u015f\u0131yor ne yap\u0131yor hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde bilmiyoruz.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A…’da bir TEM \u015fube m\u00fcd\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc var. Oran\u0131n -7. kat\u0131 var ve \u00fcst\u00fc 6 kat var. Eksi yedinci kat genelde bizim gibi arkada\u015flar\u0131n konuldu\u011fu bir kat. 6. Katta bizim gibi arkada\u015flar\u0131n \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bir kat i\u015fkenceyle. Ve babam orada 15 g\u00fcn kald\u0131. Haber alamad\u0131k. 15 g\u00fcn sonra Savc\u0131 babam\u0131 serbest b\u0131rak\u0131laca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi biz \u0130nanamad\u0131k. Tabii sonra babam serbest kald\u0131 ama hala psikolojik ila\u00e7lar i\u00e7iyor hala kendine gelemedi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc babama sorgu s\u0131ras\u0131nda bana ne yapacaklar\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fime ne yapacaklar\u0131n\u0131 hangi i\u015fkenceleri yapacaklar\u0131n\u0131 anlatm\u0131\u015flar. Torunlar\u0131n\u0131 yakalay\u0131nca onlara neler yapacaklar\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fime soda \u015fi\u015fesini neresinden sokacaklar\u0131n\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

(4)<\/b><\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte soda \u015fi\u015fesini nerden sokacaklar\u0131n\u0131 nas\u0131l i\u015fkence yapacaklar\u0131n\u0131 anlatm\u0131\u015flar babama. Hala bize anlatmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyler var hala konu\u015fam\u0131yor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc oluyor koskoca adam yani a\u011flama krizlerine giriyor inanam\u0131yor ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131na.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra babam\u0131 serbest b\u0131rakt\u0131lar. Biz haberi duyunca yurt d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kma zaten karar\u0131n\u0131 vermi\u015ftik. Babam da \u00f6yle olunca art\u0131k \u00e7\u0131kabiliriz diye i\u00e7imize sinmi\u015f oldu. Bu arada e\u015fimin de ailesinde abisini erkek karde\u015fini yine ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde g\u00f6revden ihra\u00e7 ettiler onlar da devlet memuruydular. E\u015fimin ailesiyle de g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015femiyorduk. Benim ailemle de art\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fme \u015fans\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7ok azalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc babam i\u00e7eri girip \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra daha tedirgin olmu\u015flard\u0131 hakl\u0131 olarak.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu arada hi\u00e7bir akrabam\u0131z akrabalar hep \u015funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu biz sizin \u00e7ok temiz oldu\u011funuzu biliyoruz ama bunu hak ettiniz. E o zaman neden hak ettik. Yani biz size ne yapt\u0131k ki o zamana kadar t\u00fcm akrabalar\u0131n\u0131z bizden raz\u0131 olduklar\u0131n\u0131 onlara yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z iyilikleri anlatmakla bitiremediklerini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu ama yapayaln\u0131z kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Hi\u00e7bir arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcyordu bizimle vebali gibi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Daha sonra yurt d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kmak i\u00e7in ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131lar oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendik. Biz b\u00f6yle i\u015fler hi\u00e7 yapmad\u0131k hayat\u0131m\u0131zda bilmiyorduk. Daha \u00f6nceden \u00e7\u0131kan arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131zdan ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131n numaralar\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131k. Ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131lar bizden \u00e7ok ciddi bir miktar para istediler. Bizim tek arabam\u0131z vard\u0131. Zaten o da babam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne idi. Babam onu satm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onun paras\u0131n\u0131 verdik onlara. Paras\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131k yan\u0131m\u0131za daha do\u011frusu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bizden Mu\u011fla’ya gelmemizi istediler. Mu\u011fla’dan deniz \u00fczerinden Rodos’a ge\u00e7ece\u011fimizi s\u00f6ylediler. Biz de Mu\u011fla’ya farkl\u0131 yollarla gittik. O\u011flum ayr\u0131 gitti, ben ayr\u0131, e\u015fim ayr\u0131, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z ayr\u0131 bir \u015fekilde Mu\u011fla’ya gittik. Mu\u011fla’ya gitti\u011fimiz g\u00fcn\u00fcn ak\u015fam\u0131nda ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131lar paran\u0131n hepsini verin sabah biz sizi \u00e7\u0131karaca\u011f\u0131z dediler. G\u00fcvenmek zorundayd\u0131k. Bunu kime s\u00f6ylesek nas\u0131l g\u00fcvendi\u011finiz diyorlar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ba\u015fka \u00e7aremiz yoktu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Art\u0131k her \u015feyi g\u00f6ze alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Oraya giderken b\u00fct\u00fcn param\u0131z\u0131 verdik ellerine. Ertesi g\u00fcn\u00fc bizi arayacaklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler ve arad\u0131lar da. Bizi l\u00fcks bir yatla ge\u00e7ireceklerini s\u00f6ylemi\u015flerdi. Sonras\u0131nda biz Mu\u011fla’n\u0131n o dedikleri yere geldik. Geldikten sonra bizi y\u00f6nlendirdiler i\u015fte \u015furaya ge\u00e7in buraya gelin \u015furaya gelin diye. Bizi \u00fc\u00e7 aile ile birlikte turistik bir tekneye bindirdiler. \u00c7ok basit \u00fcst\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131k tamamen g\u00f6z\u00fcken bir tekne. G\u00f6z\u00fck\u00fcyoruz tamamen. \u00c7ok tedirgin olduk. Ondan sonras\u0131nda denizde ilerlemeye ba\u015flad\u0131k. 3 saat oldu 4 saat oldu hala T\u00fcrkiye k\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131nday\u0131z. Ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131lar s\u00fcrekli i\u00e7ki i\u00e7iyorlar. G\u00f6zlerin \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u00fcyorlar. S\u00fcrekli i\u00e7iyorlar s\u00fcrekli i\u00e7iyorlar bizle ne konu\u015ftuklar\u0131 belli de\u011fil. Yalvar\u0131yoruz hani ne yap\u0131yorsunuz siz hani l\u00fcks yat dedi\u011finiz en az\u0131ndan g\u00fcvenli ge\u00e7ece\u011fimizi s\u00f6ylediniz falan. Tabii azarl\u0131yorlar \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc her \u015feyiniz onlar\u0131n elinde. Sonra ger\u00e7ekten de bizi bir yata bindirdiler.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Denizin Ortas\u0131nda bir yata ge\u00e7tik. Tekneden yata ge\u00e7tik. O yatla bir s\u00fcre gittikten sonra kaptan daha fazla devam etmek istemedi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi. Ben dedi daha fazla g\u00f6t\u00fcrmeyece\u011fim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc Yunan polisine yakalanmaktan korkuyorum dedi. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131z o zaman dedik. Bundan sonra dedi siz ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7aresine bak\u0131n. Ne yapabiliriz dedik. Yattan inip y\u00fcz\u00fcn dedi. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z var yeni do\u011fmu\u015f bebe\u011fimiz var ne olursun diyoruz yapma diyoruz yalvar\u0131yoruz. Bana ne diyor ben o riski almam atlay\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn diyor denizin ortas\u0131nda. Nas\u0131l y\u00fczebilirsiniz k\u0131y\u0131ya kadar. Yani can yele\u011fimiz yok, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yok. Sonras\u0131nda \u00e7ok yalvard\u0131k. Bir tane beyaz bir bot \u015fi\u015firdi. O botu hi\u00e7 unutmuyorum. O botu \u015fi\u015firdi. Dedi ki sadece bayanlar\u0131 alabilirim dedi. Erkekler kalacaklar. E\u015flerimiz ne olacak? Onlar\u0131 bo\u015fverin siz geleceksiniz diyor. Yani \u00f6yle bir durum ki hi\u00e7bir \u015fey soram\u0131yorsunuz. Her dedi\u011fini yapmak zorunda kal\u0131yorsunuz.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u011fer T\u00fcrkiye’ye giderseniz daha k\u00f6t\u00fc i\u015fkenceler var. Evlad\u0131n\u0131z dan ayr\u0131lmak var. Art\u0131k her \u015feyi g\u00f6ze al\u0131yorsunuz orada. Sonra botu \u015fi\u015firdi. \u0130lk kim binmek ister dedi. Ben de ben istiyorum dedim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ne olacaksa olsun dedim art\u0131k . Ben bindim bota.O s\u00fcrecek botu.Arkamdan da ba\u015fka bir arkada\u015f\u0131m bindi. Benim kuca\u011f\u0131mda diz kapa\u011f\u0131mda be\u015f bu\u00e7uk ya\u015f\u0131nda bir o\u011flum oturuyor. Birinde de 1 ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131m o zaman k\u0131z\u0131m oturuyor. Yani kuca\u011f\u0131mda k\u0131z\u0131m daha bebek. Bizi bota bindirdi. Bot ilerliyor biz devaml\u0131 dua okuyoruz. Allah’\u0131m l\u00fctfen l\u00fctfen.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ve Eyl\u00fcl ay\u0131 o kadar so\u011fuk bir g\u00fcn ki. ilerliyoruz ilerliyoruz bot patlad\u0131. Ve bir anda \u015fu almaya ba\u015flad\u0131 denizin ortas\u0131nda iken. Daha h\u0131zl\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Art\u0131k \u015fu \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131yor. \u0130lk ba\u015fta ayak bileklerime gelmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Biraz daha yukar\u0131 biraz daha yukar\u0131. K\u0131y\u0131ya yak\u0131nla\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131k. K\u0131y\u0131y\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fck. Art\u0131k orada daha h\u0131zl\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Art\u0131k diz kapaklar\u0131ma kadar \u015fu oldu. En son art\u0131k o\u011flumun beline kadar suya batt\u0131. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 yukar\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131m. (A\u011fl\u0131yor) Allah’\u0131m dedim bu \u00e7ocuk h\u00fcrmetine… Bunun g\u00fcnah\u0131 yok… Biz masum de\u011filiz Allah\u0131m dedim. Ama mazlumuz dedim. l\u00fctfen dedim ya rabbi evlatlar\u0131m h\u00fcrmetine. Belki ben g\u00fcnahkar\u0131m ama \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131n h\u00fcrmetine ne olursun. Biz \u00f6lsek de bunlar ya\u015fas\u0131n Allah’\u0131m dedim. k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 havaya kald\u0131rd\u0131m dua ediyorum ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ok \u00e7aresizim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra indik \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr. Yunan Adas\u0131’na indik. indi\u011fimizde de arkada\u015fla birbirimizi zaten tan\u0131m\u0131yorduk biz ayn\u0131 tekneye binmi\u015f olmu\u015ftuk. Kader arkada\u015f\u0131yd\u0131k. \u0130ndi\u011fimizde de hemen ayr\u0131ld\u0131k tan\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131k vermek istemedik. Hani ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za ne gelece\u011fini bilmedi\u011fimiz i\u00e7in denizin kenar\u0131na oturduk. Giderken tekneciye dedim ki e\u015fimi ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m, ben nereden bulaca\u011f\u0131m dedim. O senin yan\u0131na gelecek dedi ve ka\u00e7t\u0131 bir anda. Botu kuca\u011f\u0131na ald\u0131 ka\u00e7t\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bekliyorum bekliyorum. Alfabesi bile farkl\u0131 bir \u00fclkedeyim. Kendi vatan\u0131mdan ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015f\u0131m ki ben vatan\u0131na a\u015f\u0131k bir insand\u0131m. Da\u011flar\u0131 denizleri o kadar g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131yla ayr\u0131ld\u0131m ki \u00fclkeden. \u00dclkemden \u00e7\u0131karken bile hala son dakika haberlerine bak\u0131yordum bir de\u011fi\u015fiklik olur mu ki acaba yanl\u0131\u015f yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 fark ederler mi ki insanlar uyan\u0131r m\u0131 ki. S\u00fcrekli sanki o da\u011flar ta\u015flar bize git diyordu. Gidin kurtulun diyordu. (A\u011fl\u0131yor)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra o Yunan Adas\u0131’nda e\u015fimi beklemeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. Deniz kenar\u0131nda o\u011flum ilk ba\u015fta kum oynad\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc uzun s\u00fcredir deniz kum g\u00f6rm\u00fcyordu. Biz deniz seven bir aileyiz. A…’da oldu\u011fumuz i\u00e7in. \u00c7ok sevindi tabii deniz g\u00f6r\u00fcnce. Hemen ta\u015f ve kum oynamaya ba\u015flad\u0131 \u0131slak k\u0131yafetleri ile. Ayaklar\u0131 \u0131slak beline kadar \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u0131slakt\u0131 onlarla oynamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Aradan bir saat ge\u00e7ti ve e\u015fim yok. Art\u0131k e\u015fimin dedim ba\u015f\u0131na bir \u015fey geldi. Herhalde \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcler. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u011fer onlar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcrseler T\u00fcrkiye’de onlara \u00f6d\u00fcl veriyorlar. Ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131lara kelle ba\u015f\u0131na bir s\u00fcr\u00fc para \u00f6d\u00fcyorlar. E\u011fer \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcrlerse deniz atarlarsa. Art\u0131k \u00f6yle oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Bir bu\u00e7uk saat ge\u00e7ti. E\u015fim yoktu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Art\u0131k denizin kenar\u0131na oturdum o\u011flum da art\u0131k s\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131 tabii ki oyundan. O da art\u0131k hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmaz olmu\u015ftu son d\u00f6nemde sadece g\u00f6zleriyle anlat\u0131yordu her \u015feyini \u00e7ok a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131yordu ki \u00e7ok konu\u015fkan bir \u00e7ocuktur benim o\u011flum. Dilsiz i\u015fte bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 denizi g\u00f6sterdi. Anne babam orada de\u011fil mi art\u0131k dedi. Ben a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m oda a\u011flad\u0131. Anne ne yapal\u0131m dedi. Siz iyi insanlars\u0131n\u0131z ben biliyorum dedi. Ama dedi bize neden bu k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yapt\u0131lar anne dedi. Neden beni oyuncaklar\u0131mla oynamama izin vermediler dedi. Ben odam\u0131 \u00e7ok \u00f6zledim anne dedi. Siz \u00f6zlemeyecek misiniz T\u00fcrkiye’yi dedi. Bizim anneannemiz dedemiz orada de\u011fil mi. Neden bana bunu yap\u0131yorsunuz dedi. Neden her sevdi\u011fim \u015feyden beni uzakla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorsunuz dedi. Babam\u0131 da elimden ald\u0131n\u0131z dedi. Art\u0131k ben hi\u00e7bir soru sormayaca\u011f\u0131m size dedi. Sizin ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 anlayam\u0131yorum dedi. En sevdi\u011fim odam dedi. T\u00fcrkiye’deki A…’daki evimizde de beni oradan uzakla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131n\u0131z ba\u015fka bir yere g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcn\u00fcz. Oray\u0131 da sevdim oray\u0131 da ald\u0131n\u0131z. Biz T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de 12 farkl\u0131 adreste kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k 14 ay boyunca. Oradan da ald\u0131n\u0131z dedi. Nerede oyunca\u011f\u0131m olsa beni oradan uzakla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorsunuz anne dedi. Sonra art\u0131k denize bak\u0131p a\u011fl\u0131yoruz. E\u015fimin mezar\u0131n\u0131n oras\u0131 oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flad\u0131k.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra s\u0131rt\u0131ma birisi dokundu. D\u00f6nd\u00fcm e\u015fim. Havalara u\u00e7tum. Tabii inanamad\u0131m e\u015fimi g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcme. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k umudu kesmi\u015ftim. O\u011flumun \u00f6yle bir z\u0131play\u0131s\u0131 vard\u0131 ki \u201cbabam babam\u201d diye herkes bize bak\u0131yordu. Me\u011ferse e\u015fimi de ba\u015fka bir k\u0131y\u0131ya b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015flar korktuklar\u0131 i\u00e7in. O bizi bulamam\u0131\u015f \u00e7ok aram\u0131\u015f o da bizi. Telefonlar\u0131m\u0131z yoktu zaten. Birbirimizin numaras\u0131na birbirimizde yoktu. Telefon vard\u0131 ama numaralar\u0131m\u0131z yoktu. Yani sonra bizi buldu \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ama yani ge\u00e7mi\u015fteki her \u015feyimiz akl\u0131m\u0131z kalbimiz T\u00fcrkiye’deydi. Yani ne ge\u00e7ti\u011finize sevinebiliyorsunuz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc karde\u015fleriniz T\u00fcrkiye’de. Arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131z orada. Siz ge\u00e7tiniz ama hi\u00e7 bir anlam ifade etmiyor sizin i\u00e7in. Hatta garip bir pi\u015fmanl\u0131k duygusu. Sanki herkesi b\u0131rak\u0131p oraya m\u0131 ka\u00e7t\u0131m diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsunuz. Ama \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z var yapmak zorundas\u0131n\u0131z.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra e\u015fim de geldikten sonra bir taksi bulduk merkeze ge\u00e7tik.. Sonra ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flad\u0131k. Kalacak yer bulamad\u0131k. Gece Saat 2 oldu 3 oldu biz hala sokaklarday\u0131z. Kuca\u011f\u0131mda bebe\u011fim var. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bilemiyoruz. Sonra \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr b\u00f6yle \u00e7ok eski bir ya\u015fl\u0131 dedenin dede ile babaannenin bir evi varm\u0131\u015f. Evini kiral\u0131yormu\u015f. Bizi evlerine ald\u0131lar. Onlar\u0131n evinde kald\u0131k. Onlara anlatt\u0131k ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdan ge\u00e7enleri. \u00c7ok \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc duyduklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Sonra ertesi g\u00fcn\u00fc X sehrine\u00a0 ge\u00e7meye karar verdik. X sehrine ge\u00e7mek i\u00e7in bir taksiye bindik. Taksici o zaman g\u00fcnd\u00fczleri s\u0131cak oluyordu geceleri so\u011fuktu Eyl\u00fcl ay\u0131 oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in. Ama g\u00fcnd\u00fczleri s\u0131cakt\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

S\u0131cak bir eyl\u00fcl g\u00fcn\u00fcnde deniz kenar\u0131ndan arabay\u0131 s\u00fcrerek bizi \u015feye g\u00f6t\u00fcrecekti. Feribotlar\u0131n oldu\u011fu k\u0131y\u0131ya b\u0131rakacak bizi. Tabi anlad\u0131 T\u00fcrk oldu\u011fumuzu dil bilmedi\u011fimiz i\u00e7in. Yunanca bilmedi\u011fimiz i\u00e7in. Siz dedi T\u00fcrksunuz dedi. Biz evet T\u00fcrk\u00fcz dedik. Ben dedi biliyorum dedi \u0130ngilizce olarak. i\u015fte Erdo\u011fan problem dedi. O y\u00fczden sizler geliyorsunuz dedi bize. Tabi yakalanmak istemiyoruz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc polis en b\u00fcy\u00fck korkumuz. Biz de hay\u0131r falan dedik hani biz bilmiyoruz hi\u00e7bir \u015fey. Biz normal ziyarete geziye geldik dedik. Sonra tabii o bizi anlad\u0131. Yunanistan’da da taksicilere b\u00f6yle bizim gibi olan arkada\u015flar\u0131 teslim ettiklerinde ciddi bir miktar para \u00f6deniyormu\u015f. Hani insan ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6nlemek ad\u0131na \u00fclkenin kendi kaidesiymi\u015f bu. Sonra bizi oyalad\u0131 yollar\u0131 uzata uzata bir yerde durdu. Polis kul\u00fcbesinin polis binas\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde ve arabay\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131. Ben hemen geliyorum 10 dakikaya dedi arabay\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

E\u015fim \u00f6nde oturuyor ben arkada. Kuca\u011f\u0131mda bebe\u011fim ve o\u011flum yan\u0131mda. Oturuyoruz. O adam \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra taksici 2 dakika sonra bir tane polis kala\u015fnikoflu silah\u0131 ile geldi. Araban\u0131n i\u00e7ine silah\u0131 do\u011frulttu ilk defa hayat\u0131mda ben \u00f6yle b\u00fcy\u00fck bir silah g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. E\u015fim \u00f6nde ama hepimiz \u015fok olduk yani sonra silah\u0131 bana do\u011frulttu Ben art\u0131k o kadar her \u015feyden bezmi\u015fim ki \u00f6lmek istedim. Yani Allah’\u0131m ke\u015fke vursa \u00f6ld\u00fcrse de her \u015feyden kurtulsam dedim. O kadar zor geliyordu ki ya\u015famak.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra bom dedi. Ben bir anda s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131m tabii kuca\u011f\u0131mda \u00e7ocukla. Sonra g\u00fcld\u00fc alay ettiler. \u015eaka yapmak istemi\u015f bize. \u00d6l\u00e7mek ad\u0131na bilmiyorum ne i\u00e7in anlamad\u0131k yani. Sonra i\u015fte T. \u00e7ok korktu. \u201cAnne o silahti ger\u00e7ekten anne. Sen \u00f6lseydin ben ne yapard\u0131m\u201d dedi\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(5)<\/b><\/p>\n

X sehrine ge\u00e7tikten sonra bir \u015fey olmad\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za bir \u015fey gelmedi yani taksici cihetiyle hamdolsun. Atina’ya indi\u011fimizde de ba\u015fka bir taksici benim telefonumu ald\u0131. E\u015fimin telefonunu ald\u0131 inceledi baya\u011f\u0131 bir. Bana bunu sat falan dedi. Sonra telefonu camdan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 falan sallamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Bana bunu satman laz\u0131m diye. Bizim de her \u015feyimiz telefonda. O giderse hi\u00e7 kimseyle ileti\u015fim kuramayaca\u011f\u0131z. Sonra tekrar geri verdi \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr. Ben bunlar\u0131 anlat\u0131yorum ama \u015fimdi, birazdan da ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m iyilikleri anlataca\u011f\u0131m. Kesinlikle Yunan milleti ile hi\u00e7bir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131m yok Allah hepsini yani hepsine \u00e7ok te\u015fekk\u00fcr ediyorum\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(6)<\/b><\/p>\n

Yunanl\u0131larla ilgili bize T\u00fcrkiye’de hep d\u00fc\u015fman olduklar\u0131n\u0131, k\u00f6t\u00fc insanlar olduklar\u0131n\u0131, kaba insanlar olduklar\u0131 anlat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ama kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n hepsi o kadar nazik insanlar, o kadar yard\u0131mseverdiler ki tabii ki her millete b\u00f6yle insanlar\u0131 olabilir. Ben hi\u00e7 kimseyi k\u0131nam\u0131yorum. Onlar da kendi kurallar\u0131 ad\u0131na yapm\u0131\u015f olabilirler. \u015eakalar\u0131 olabilir. Bunlar\u0131 hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde k\u0131nam\u0131yorum. Ger\u00e7ekten ben Yunanistan\u0131 \u00e7ok sevmi\u015ftim. A…’ya \u00e7ok benziyordu \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Sonra X sehrine ge\u00e7tik.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(7)<\/b><\/p>\n

Art\u0131k belki 15 belki 16. evimizdi. Bu arada T\u00fcrkiye’den \u00e7\u0131karken hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yan\u0131m\u0131za alamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Sadece k\u0131z\u0131m i\u00e7in \u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bir tane \u00f6rg\u00fc oyuncak alabilmi\u015ftim. Ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015fey almam\u0131za izin vermemi\u015fti. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131n yedek k\u0131yafeti bile yoktu. S\u0131rt \u00e7antam\u0131z bile. Hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz yoktu. Tabii yeni k\u0131yafet alacak param\u0131z da \u00e7ok yok. Orada biz bir ay kadar kald\u0131k. Bir ay boyunca g\u00fcnd\u00fczleri giyiyorduk. Ger\u00e7ekten bunu abartm\u0131yorum yani Allah da biliyor ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131. G\u00fcnd\u00fcz giyiyoruz tabii kirleniyor k\u0131yafet. Ak\u015fam e\u015fim \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131yor atletiyle duruyor o\u011flum \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131yor i\u015fte k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131yorum y\u0131k\u0131yorum. Elimde y\u0131k\u0131yordum tekrar balkona as\u0131yordum. Tabi sabah tekrar giyiyorduk. Bir ay boyunca biz b\u00f6yle giyindik.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ondan sonra Almanya’ya ge\u00e7mek en b\u00fcy\u00fck hayalimiz. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u011fitim g\u00fcvenlik demokrasi insan haklar\u0131 oradayd\u0131 duymu\u015ftuk biliyorduk yani. Sonra buraya ge\u00e7mek ad\u0131na denemeler yapmaya karar verdik. \u00d6nce X sehrinden deneme yapmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Havaalan\u0131ndan tabi C.’nin pasaportu olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in binemezsiniz dediler. Biz geri d\u00f6nd\u00fck. Sonra \u2026.. \u00fczerinden Almanya’ya ge\u00e7meyi denedik.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu arada da iki \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnde bir ev de\u011fi\u015ftiriyoruz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc uzun s\u00fcre kalacak ev yok. K\u0131sa s\u00fcreli\u011fine kiral\u0131k ev buluyoruz ve eyl\u00fcl ay\u0131n\u0131n ortas\u0131 art\u0131k havalar baya\u011f\u0131 bir so\u011fudu ve \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcze yazl\u0131k \u015feyler var. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc T\u00fcrkiye’den \u00f6yle \u015feylerle \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Sonra X sehrindekald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z son kiralad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ev o kadar so\u011fuktu ki camlar kapanm\u0131yordu. \u00c7ocuklar \u00e7ok hasta oldu. Ben \u00e7ok hastayim, kendim \u00e7ok hasta oldum. Hayat\u0131mda o kadar hasta oldu\u011fumu hat\u0131rlam\u0131yorum. Ben \u00e7ok \u00f6ncesinde \u00e7ok ameliyatlar ge\u00e7irdim. Hani sa\u011fl\u0131k problemleri ya\u015fayan bir insan\u0131m \u00e7ok sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 de\u011filim ama o kadar hasta oldu\u011fumu hat\u0131rlam\u0131yorum. O g\u00fcn de pazar g\u00fcn\u00fc deneme yapaca\u011f\u0131z.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E\u015fime yalvar\u0131yorum ne olursun gitmeyelim ama ba\u015fka da zaman\u0131m\u0131z yok ve param\u0131z\u0131 da verdik bilet i\u00e7in. Evet gitmek zorunday\u0131z. Bir tane taksi kiralad\u0131 e\u015fim taksici ile anla\u015ft\u0131. Bizi oraya g\u00f6t\u00fcrecek. Giderken taksi bozuldu otobanda ve otobanda benzinlik hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yok. Sonra taksici bir arkada\u015f\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. O sizi g\u00f6t\u00fcrecek dedi. Neyse bunda da bir hay\u0131r vard\u0131r dedik taksiye bindik. 2. Takside gidiyoruz son h\u0131z s\u00fcr\u00fcyor taksici 120 ile 130 da s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Araban\u0131n camlar\u0131 kapal\u0131 hi\u00e7 hava almak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. E\u015fimi kocaman bir e\u015fek ar\u0131s\u0131 \u0131s\u0131rd\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Araban\u0131n i\u00e7inde ar\u0131n\u0131n girmesi m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil hi\u00e7 cam a\u00e7\u0131lmad\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Ve e\u015fimin ar\u0131ya alerjisi var. Art\u0131k ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Yani s\u00fcrekli durmadan b\u00f6yle oldu\u011funuzu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. Yani ayakl\u0131 cenaze gibiydim. Her g\u00fcn \u00f6l\u00fcyorsunuz. Her g\u00fcn ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za bir bela geliyor gibi ama her i\u015fte bir hay\u0131r oldu\u011funu sonunda anlayaca\u011f\u0131z yani. Sonra e\u015fimi ar\u0131 \u0131s\u0131rd\u0131 e\u015fimin rengi bir anda solmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Allah’\u0131m dedim kaybedece\u011fim e\u015fimi. Ben ne yapar\u0131m burada. Hi\u00e7 dilini bilmiyorum. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m yani. Sonra amonyak buldu taksici. Kendisi de \u00e7ok tedirgin oldu. Ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7ok iyiydi. Yunanl\u0131lar\u0131n iyili\u011fini hep orada g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ben. Amonyak buldu orada e\u015fime ilk yard\u0131m m\u00fcdahalelerinde bulundu. Ger\u00e7ekten e\u015fim iyi oldu. Gece vard\u0131k biz.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gece 12’de de bizim gemimiz. O limana vard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z anda zaten hemen T\u00fcrk oldu\u011fumuzu anlad\u0131lar polisler. Hani her \u015feyimizden belli. Kara ka\u015f kara g\u00f6zlere ne yapabiliriz ki. Bizi hemen kenara ald\u0131lar. Siz <\/span>G\u00fclenist<\/span> misiniz falan diye sordular. Biz tabi ilk ba\u015fta tedirgin oldu\u011fumuz i\u00e7in yok falan dedik. Yani inkar etme yolunu denedik. Sonra art\u0131k itiraf etmeye karar verdik. Evet \u00f6yleyiz dedik ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za bunlar bunlar geldi dedik. Ve e\u015fim de ben de h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011fl\u0131yoruz. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc her \u015feyimiz bitti. O\u011flum a\u011fl\u0131yor. O\u011flum diyor ki amca diyor ne olur bizi ge\u00e7irin diyor sanki adamlar T\u00fcrk\u00e7e anl\u0131yorlarm\u0131\u015f gibi. Ne olursunuz diyor\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(8)<\/b><\/p>\n

Sonra i\u015fte o\u011flum T\u00fcrk\u00e7e s\u00f6yledi onlara. L\u00fctfen bizi ge\u00e7irin amca dedi. Yani ne olursunuz dedi. Benim hayallerim var art\u0131k dedi. Ben art\u0131k normal bir hayat ya\u015famak istiyorum dedi. Sonra o iki polis T…n\u2019in \u00f6yle \u00e7abalad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce onlar da oturup h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011flad\u0131lar yani bizle beraber. Biz sizin i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyoruz sizin iyi insanlar oldu\u011funuzu biliyoruz dediler. Biz \u015fok olduk. \u0130lk defa bizimle dertlenen insanlar \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ve Yunanl\u0131lar bize y\u0131llarca d\u00fc\u015fman olarak anlat\u0131lan insanlar b\u00f6yle melek gibi insanlard\u0131 bunu g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f olduk. Sonras\u0131nda hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde bize (Biz de yalvard\u0131k tabi) bizi ge\u00e7iremeyeceklerini s\u00f6ylediler. O polis beni en son kenara \u00e7ekti ve dedi ki: L\u00fctfen a\u011flama. Bak \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n var dedi. \u00c7ocu\u011fun seni izliyor \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyor dedi. L\u00fctfen a\u011flama dedi senin i\u00e7in yapabilece\u011fim hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yok dedi. Ama bak kar\u015f\u0131da otel var dedi. Orada kalabilirsin dedi. Elini cebine koydu para \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. \u0130stersen bu paray\u0131 al otel paran olsun yemek paran olsun dedi. Biz o kadar \u015fok oluyorduk ki bunlar\u0131 ya\u015farken. Nas\u0131l yani. Yani ilk defa hani bize insan muamelesi yapan oluyordu aylar sonra. 14 ay sonra. Yani bizim hi\u00e7 kimsemiz olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 Allah’tan ba\u015fka. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc herkes vebali gibi davran\u0131yordu. \u0130lk defa birisi elini cebine koyup da sizin ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131z var siz iyi insanlars\u0131n\u0131z demi\u015fti bize. Biz te\u015fekk\u00fcr ettik. Yani paraya ihtiyac\u0131m\u0131z yok bizi sadece g\u00f6nderin l\u00fctfen dedik. Ama g\u00f6ndermediler. Onlar da kendi \u00fclkelerinin kural\u0131 gere\u011fi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda tekrar deneme yapt\u0131k. Art\u0131k hani son param\u0131z. O zaman ge\u00e7tik ge\u00e7tik, ge\u00e7emezsek Yunanistan’da kalacakt\u0131k. \u00d6yle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorduk. Son denememiz orada da bu sefer ba\u015fka bir Ydiye bir liman var. Oradan Almanya’ya ald\u0131k u\u00e7ak bileti. U\u00e7ak biletini de direkt M\u00fcnih’e almasak acaba ba\u015fka bir \u00fclkeye mi ge\u00e7sek derken sadece M\u00fcnih vard\u0131. Mecburen onu ald\u0131k biz de.. L limaninaye gittikten sonra art\u0131k ge\u00e7emeyece\u011fiz diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyoruz. Hatta gidece\u011fimizin sabah\u0131nda o\u011flumu kald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda o\u011flum dedi ki anne dedi ben uyuyay\u0131m nas\u0131l olsa ge\u00e7emeyeceksiniz geri gelirsiniz dedi. O\u011flum gel bak hadi art\u0131k iyi insan oldu\u011fumuz i\u00e7in evimiz olacak gidece\u011fiz filan. Hani art\u0131k ona inand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 gelmiyordu bunlar.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

U\u00e7a\u011fa bindik ve u\u00e7ak kalkt\u0131. Yani biz \u0130nanmad\u0131k u\u00e7ak kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde biz hala yerimizden k\u0131p\u0131rdayam\u0131yorduk. Sanki birileri gelecek bizi u\u00e7aktan indirecek bizi \u00f6ld\u00fcrecekler falan diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorduk. M\u00fcnih\u2019e indik. Yani Welcome to M\u00fcnih dedi\u011finde biz \u015fok olduk. Tabii inanam\u0131yordum nas\u0131l oldu r\u00fcyada m\u0131y\u0131z. \u0130nanamad\u0131k yani.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra M\u00fcnih’e indi\u011fimizde valizlerimizi almaya gidiyoruz. Bagaj almaya giderken o yolda iki tane sivil polis bizi \u00e7evirdiler. Pasaportlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 istediler. Tabii pasaporttaki olan de\u011fi\u015fiklikleri g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f oldular. Ondan sonra onu g\u00f6rmeden \u00f6nce polisin biri dedi ki G\u00fclenist misiniz. Yani senin y\u00fcz\u00fcn G\u00fclenist dedi. Biz hi\u00e7bir \u015fey demedik. \u015ea\u015f\u0131rd\u0131k yani. Sonra bana da ayn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi. Sen de G\u00fclenistsin dedi. Daha pasaportumuza bile bakmadan b\u00f6yle dediler. Biz \u015fok olduk yani. Dedik ki: Evet biz G\u00fcleni\u015ftiz. Yani yapacak hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz yok. Sizden ba\u015fka da s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacak hi\u00e7bir yerimiz kalmad\u0131. Bizi al\u0131p karakola g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler havaalan\u0131ndaki.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(9)<\/b><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131nda oradaki karakola g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler bizi. Karakolda beni ayr\u0131 bir odaya e\u015fimi ayr\u0131 bir odaya ald\u0131lar. Ben \u00e7ocuklarla bir odadayd\u0131m. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n durmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce polisler k\u0131z\u0131ma s\u00fct getirdiler. \u00c7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7ekten her \u015feye muhta\u00e7t\u0131k. \u0130yilik ad\u0131na her \u015feye muhta\u00e7 iken T\u00fcrkiye’de hi\u00e7bir \u015fey g\u00f6remezken burada b\u00f6yle insanlar taraf\u0131ndan, \u00fclkemize yabanc\u0131 insanlar taraf\u0131ndan bu kadar iyilik g\u00f6rmek bizi \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131yordu. O\u011flum i\u00e7in oyuncak getirmi\u015fler s\u0131k\u0131lmas\u0131n diye. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc i\u015flemlerimizi ak\u015fam geceye kadar s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. K\u0131zma s\u00fct getirdiler biberon vard\u0131. \u00c7ocu\u011fum i\u00e7ti onu. Ben \u00e7ok mutluydum.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra arama yapacaklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Bir odaya ald\u0131lar. Oras\u0131 benim ger\u00e7ekten en \u00e7ok zorland\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u0131s\u0131md\u0131 galiba. T\u00fcrkiye’de arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyleri ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f oldum o odada. Orada i\u015fte \u00fclkenin kanunlar\u0131 gere\u011fi herkesi soyundurduklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Benim hala atamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fey. Yani bilmiyorum. Orada i\u015fte \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n yan\u0131nda soyunmam\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Ama ben yapamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 s\u00f6yledim. Yani \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m var sonu\u00e7ta. Sonra anlay\u0131\u015f g\u00f6sterdiler. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131 \u2026.. orada kald\u0131 abisini ald\u0131lar. Bu arada orada kamera var bizi \u00e7ekiyor. Soyundurdular ve ben \u00f6zel zaman\u0131ndayd\u0131m. (A\u011fl\u0131yor)<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ok utand\u0131m. Bize bunlar\u0131 ya\u015fatanlar\u0131n\u2026. O zaman \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcm. Biz ne yapt\u0131k diye \u00fclkem ad\u0131na. Almanya’da \u00fclkesine gidip \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ayn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 T\u00fcrkiye’deki arkada\u015flar\u0131m da ya\u015f\u0131yordu. E\u011fil kalk gibi de\u011fi\u015fik hareketler yapt\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc hakl\u0131lar ben hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde onlar\u0131 k\u0131nam\u0131yorum. Eroin saklayanlar oluyor ba\u015fka b\u00f6lgelerinde. \u0130nsanlar hakl\u0131 ama ben \u00e7ok zorland\u0131m. \u00c7ok utand\u0131m. S\u00fcrekli a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Ben annemin yan\u0131nda bile soyunmam\u0131\u015f bir insan\u0131m. Her \u015feyimi kaybetti\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm o g\u00fcn. (A\u011fl\u0131yor) Yani art\u0131k beni \u00f6ld\u00fcrseler di orada. O kadar \u00e7ok dua etmi\u015ftim ke\u015fke \u00f6ld\u00fcrseler diye. \u00c7ok zordu benim i\u00e7in. Sonra i\u015fte boyumu kilomu \u00f6l\u00e7t\u00fcler. ba\u015fka \u00f6zelliklerimizi kay\u0131t alt\u0131na ald\u0131lar. E\u015fimin de benim de. Oradan arama odas\u0131ndan e\u015fim ayr\u0131 bir odadan ben ayr\u0131 bir odadan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra birbirimizin y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakamad\u0131k. Art\u0131k ger\u00e7ekten ya\u015fayan \u00f6l\u00fc gibiydim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra bizi M\u00fcnih’te bir kampa g\u00f6nderdiler. Her milletten insan\u0131n oldu\u011fu o kampta 14 g\u00fcn kadar kald\u0131k. Genelde Afrikal\u0131 arkada\u015flar, karde\u015flerimiz vard\u0131. D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yorduk yiyorduk i\u00e7iyorduk ama bizim i\u00e7in ger\u00e7ekten hala toparlayamad\u0131k bir anlam ifade etmiyordu ger\u00e7ekten. Her \u015feyimiz T\u00fcrkiye’de bizim kald\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131na Danaver\u2019de de bir kampa g\u00f6nderdiler. O kampa da gitmeden \u00f6nce orada olan arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131zdan baz\u0131lar\u0131 arad\u0131 e\u015fimi. Ge\u00e7mi\u015f olsun diye. Sanki hani \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015fey olmu\u015f ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za gelmi\u015f gibi. Hani yok kamp olarak oras\u0131 en zor kamp \u0130\u015fte oraya gidenler \u00e7ok peri\u015fan. \u00c7ok zor g\u00fcnler sizi bekliyor haz\u0131rl\u0131kl\u0131 olun falan diyorlard\u0131. Zaten moralimiz bozuk oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in art\u0131k h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011fl\u0131yorduk. Acaba nas\u0131l bir yere gidiyoruz diye.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gittik. Kamp\u0131m\u0131za girdik. Bana hi\u00e7 k\u00f6t\u00fc gelmemi\u015fti. Yani hi\u00e7bir \u015fey. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben o kadar \u00e7ok evsiz kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ki. Bu arada T\u00fcrkiye’de istanbuldayken oyun parklar\u0131nda da yatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ben \u00e7ocuklar\u0131mla. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kalacak ev yoktu. Sabahlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ka\u00e7 gece \u00f6yle. O y\u00fczden bana d\u00f6rt duvar olup \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir yer bile olsa benim i\u00e7in \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fc. \u00c7ok de\u011ferliydi. \u00c7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck anlam ifade ediyordu. Benim i\u00e7in oda b\u00fcy\u00fck bir odayd\u0131. 10 -15 metrekare belki. 8 tane yatak var. Teneke yatak var. Demir. Demir dolap. Demir sandalye Demir masa var.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ama oras\u0131 bana ger\u00e7ekten cennet gibi geliyordu. O kadar seviyordum ki, duvarlar\u0131n\u0131 falan silesim geliyor b\u00f6yle \u00f6pesim geliyordu. Normalde duvarlar\u0131nda kan \u0130zleri vard\u0131. Sinek \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fler, ba\u015fka hayvanlar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fler. Duvara yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f. Yerler \u00e7ok pis ama bana her \u015fey o kadar g\u00fczel g\u00f6z\u00fck\u00fcyordu ki. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ka\u00e7 ay 2 y\u0131l sonra 14 ay sonra belli bir yerim olmu\u015ftu. Hatta kampta kalan di\u011fer arkada\u015flar bana deli diyorlard\u0131 kamp\u0131 \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fim i\u00e7in. D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131ksam bile ko\u015fa ko\u015fa kampa geliyordum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k bir odam vard\u0131. O\u011flumun bir yata\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131. Benim i\u00e7in bunlar \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck anlam ifade ediyordu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Orada yemek verirken her yemek saatinde kendimi tutam\u0131yorum a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Yani Almanlar bize yemek verirken te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederek a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Bazen a\u015f\u00e7\u0131lar da a\u011fl\u0131yordu benimle. \u00dcz\u00fclme ge\u00e7ecek bunlar diyordu. Ben ger\u00e7ekten o kamp\u0131 seviyordum. Zaten \u00e7\u0131karken de h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011flad\u0131m yani. (A\u011fl\u0131yor)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra \u201czat\u201d diye bir \u015fey oluyor. Sizin kimli\u011finizi \u00f6l\u00e7mek ad\u0131na yap\u0131lan bir g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fme. Tek giriliyor oraya. Ben girdim i\u015fte ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 anlatt\u0131m oradaki g\u00f6revli ki\u015fiye. Benle m\u00fclakat yapan ki\u015fiye. Tabii \u0130nanamad\u0131. Yani neler ya\u015f\u0131yorsunuz siz diye sorular sordular. Ondan bir hafta sonra da mahkeme oldu. Mahkemede ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 anlatt\u0131k. Hakim bey \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Ger\u00e7ekten de de T\u00fcrkiye’deki insanlarn \u015fa\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f olmal\u0131 dedi. Sizin gibi bu kadar e\u011fitimli bu kadar bilgili kimseleri nas\u0131l g\u00f6nderirler dedi. Bizim t\u00fcm belgelerimiz yan\u0131m\u0131zdayd\u0131. Diplomalar\u0131m\u0131z, ba\u015far\u0131 belgelerimiz, Milli E\u011fitim’den direkt bizzat ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m takdir belgelerim, okulu dereceyle bitirdi\u011fime dair belgeler. Onlar \u00f6n\u00fcne geldi\u011finde hakim \u015fok oldu. Yani her sayfay\u0131 \u00e7evirdi\u011finde g\u00f6zleri daha kocaman a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131yordu. B\u00f6yle insanlar\u0131 nas\u0131l yollar T\u00fcrkiye diyordu. Nas\u0131l nas\u0131l inanam\u0131yorum diyordu. Hakim bile \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bize.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ondan sonras\u0131nda oradan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k sonucu bekliyoruz. Ama burada genelde arkada\u015flar\u0131n alt\u0131 ay\u0131 bir y\u0131l\u0131 buluyor sonucu gelmesi. Bizim de \u00f6yle olacak diye zaten hi\u00e7bir beklentimiz yoktu. Kamptan da bir \u015fikayetimiz yoktu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ha bu arada \u015funu atlam\u0131\u015f oldum onu da anlatay\u0131m. Kampa girdi\u011fimizde dedim ya hi\u00e7 elbisemiz yok hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz yoktu. Sadece bir tane k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck po\u015fetimiz var onda da elbisemiz var ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz yok. Bizim kampa girdi\u011fimizde \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131rhane oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendik ve havalara u\u00e7tum. Art\u0131k elimde y\u0131kamaktan ellerim parampar\u00e7a olmu\u015ftu. Al\u0131\u015f\u0131k olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in elde y\u0131karken ellerim delik de\u015fikti \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r deterjan\u0131ndan. Hani makineye verece\u011fim diye \u00e7ok sevindim. Hemen geldi\u011fimizin 3. 4. g\u00fcn\u00fc e\u015fyalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 toparlad\u0131m \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda art\u0131k yede\u011fimiz vard\u0131 bir po\u015fet tek o var. \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcze pijamalar\u0131m\u0131zi giydik. Ak\u015fam onlar\u0131 da ald\u0131m g\u00fcnl\u00fck yiyece\u011fimiz k\u0131yafetleri \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131rhaneye g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcm verdim. Ertesi sabah alaca\u011f\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ertesi sabah gitti\u011fimde \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131rlar\u0131m\u0131n kayboldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylediler. D\u00fcnya ad\u0131na olan tek \u015fey bir avu\u00e7 elbisemizdi. Bizim ger\u00e7ekten hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz kalmad\u0131 d\u00fcnya ad\u0131na. Tek bir elbiselerimiz var o da gitti. Allah’\u0131m diyordum y yani d\u00fcnyadan vazge\u00e7elim ama ne yapay\u0131m yani benden ne istiyorsun yan\u0131. Art\u0131k dualar\u0131mda Allah’la konu\u015fuyordum. Ne yapay\u0131m bilmiyorum yani. Hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz yok. Biz \u00f6yle kimseye el a\u00e7an insanlar de\u011filiz. Hayat\u0131nda hi\u00e7 kimseden ne bor\u00e7 para alm\u0131\u015f\u0131md\u0131r ne istemi\u015fimdir. Yani k\u0131yafetim yok. Yani en \u00f6zel \u015fey yok.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pijama ile geziyorum. D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yoruz \u00e7\u0131kam\u0131yoruz. Utand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in odadan \u00e7\u0131kam\u0131yoruz. Arkada\u015flar merak etmi\u015fler nerede bunlar diye. Bir arkada\u015f gelince s\u00f6yledim. Yani bizim e\u015fyalar kaybolmu\u015f \u00e7\u0131kam\u0131yoruz biz odada kald\u0131k. Yani bir avu\u00e7 \u015feyimiz d\u00fcnya ad\u0131na olan her \u015feyimiz oydu. O da gidince koluna sepetine tak\u0131p gezen insanlar var ya, o sepette al\u0131nd\u0131 yani hi\u00e7bir \u015feyimiz yok. Sonra onlar verdiler. kendilerinde olandan sa\u011f olsunlar. Onlar\u0131 giydik.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra i\u015fte dedim ya kamp\u0131 ben seviyordum bir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131m yoktu. Yani al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Burada Alman devleti elbise yard\u0131m\u0131 verdi bize. K\u0131yafet verdiler sa\u011folsunlar. Onlar\u0131 giyiyorduk onlarla geziyorduk. Her halim iyiydi yani bir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131m yoktu. Normal bir hayat\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131. En az\u0131ndan kamp\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131 benim i\u00e7in \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u015feydi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra i\u015fte mahkemeden d\u00f6nd\u00fckten 10 g\u00fcn sonra da kabul ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131 geldi. Biz de inanamad\u0131k arkada\u015flar da inanamad\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ilk defa bu kadar k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede biz kampa gireli 3 ay oldu 3 ay i\u00e7inde kabul\u00fcm\u00fcz al\u0131p \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f olduk. \u0130lk defa bu kadar k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede bir aileye kabul gelmi\u015f oldu. Hatta siz rekor k\u0131rd\u0131n\u0131z falan diyorlard\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(10)<\/b><\/p>\n

Kabul\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc ald\u0131ktan sonra ayn\u0131 ak\u015fam burada normalde ev bulmak \u00e7ok zormu\u015f. \u00c7ok s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 bir s\u00fcre\u00e7. 6 ay arayan arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z var. Ayn\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fcn ak\u015fam\u0131nda A…’dan 8 y\u0131l \u00f6nce gelmi\u015f buraya yerle\u015fmi\u015f bir arkada\u015f\u0131 var burada e\u015fimin. Ama hi\u00e7 ileti\u015fime ge\u00e7memi\u015flerdi. O g\u00fcn ak\u015fam e\u015fimi arad\u0131. Dedi ki siz de Almanya’daymissiniz ben de Almanya’day\u0131m, siz dedi ne yapt\u0131n\u0131z falan. E\u015fim de dedi ki bug\u00fcn dedi kabul ald\u0131k \u00e7ok sevin\u00e7liyiz dedi. Tamam o zaman dedi. Eviniz haz\u0131r dedi. Nas\u0131l dedik. Onlar\u0131n evi varm\u0131\u015f. O da evini verecek birilerini ar\u0131yormu\u015f. Dedi ki benim b\u00f6yle b\u00f6yle bir evim var. Seni de tan\u0131yorum. Ben baya\u011f\u0131 sana vermek istiyorum dedi. Bug\u00fcn ak\u015fama art\u0131k \u2026 evi \u00e7ok be\u011fendik. Odalar da \u00e7ok g\u00fczeldi evde benim i\u00e7in. Hani yer mekan olsun da belli bir adresimiz olsun da nere olursa olsun \u00f6yleydik yani. \u00c7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr o da evini bize verdi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hani Allah \u00e7ok zor zamanlardan ge\u00e7irdi ama sonras\u0131nda hemen her \u015feyi bize l\u00fctfetti. Yani \u015fu anda evimizdeyiz k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kutu gibi bir evimiz var. \u00c7ok g\u00fczel. Eve geldik hi\u00e7 e\u015fyam\u0131z yoktu. Ama hemen hafta sonunda kamptaki arkada\u015flardan bir aileyi davet ettik onlara da de\u011fi\u015fiklik olsun diye. Yerde yatt\u0131lar bizde yerde yat\u0131yorduk. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc yata\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bile yoktu. Ama kimse gocunmuyor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kamptaki arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z en az\u0131ndan oradaki ortamdan kurtulmak biraz de\u011fi\u015fiklik olsun diye ho\u015flan\u0131yorlar. Yani de\u011fi\u015fik bir ortam olsun diye. Konforlu de\u011fil ama \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr al\u0131\u015ft\u0131lar onlar da geliyorlar s\u0131rayla \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz. \u015eimdi yeni yeni e\u015fyalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fczd\u00fck.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bu arada kampta farkl\u0131 milletler ile kal\u0131rken tabii farkl\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar da ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Bir aile vard\u0131. Milletini s\u00f6ylemeyeyim. S\u00f6ylemek istemiyorum milletini. Hani h\u00fcsn\u00fc zanni bozulmas\u0131n insanlar\u0131n. Bu ailedeki bayan \u00e7ocu\u011funun b\u00fcy\u00fck tuvaletini s\u00fcrekli bizim abdest ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bula\u015f\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 y\u0131kad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z lavaboya yapt\u0131rt\u0131p elleriyle de o tuvaleti afedersiniz lavabonun deli\u011fine ittiriyordu. Yani b\u00fcy\u00fck tuvaletini. O kadar \u00e7ok mikrop sa\u00e7\u0131yordu ki. Yani s\u00f6yledik. Yapma etme diye dinlemedi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonunda benim k\u0131z\u0131mda bir hastal\u0131k \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Bir sabah uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda v\u00fccudunun her taraf\u0131nda d\u00f6k\u00fcnt\u00fcler vard\u0131. Kamptaki doktora g\u00f6sterdik. Kamptaki doktor bir anda tedirgin oldu. Hemen maskeler filan giymeye ba\u015flad\u0131lar ve bizi karantinaya alacaklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Dedim ya bir avu\u00e7 e\u015fyam vard\u0131 o da kald\u0131 diye. Bu sefer karantinaya al\u0131rken de hi\u00e7bir \u015fey alamazs\u0131n\u0131z yan\u0131n\u0131za \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fczdekilerle gidiyorsunuz dediler. Yedek elbise falan hi\u00e7bir \u015fey alamad\u0131k \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcze. Yani art\u0131k o kadar al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k ki d\u00fcnyay\u0131 \u00f6ylece b\u0131rakmaya gitmeye hi\u00e7 d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakm\u0131yoruz bile yani. Yani art\u0131k nerede neyimiz vard\u0131 hat\u0131rlam\u0131yoruz ki. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc her yerde her \u015feyimizi biz b\u0131rakt\u0131k yani alacak bir \u015feyimiz yok art\u0131k.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra karantina dedikleri bir b\u00f6l\u00fcme g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler bizi. \u00dc\u00e7 katl\u0131 bir bina. Tek bir oda var. Orada tek biz var\u0131z. O odaya ald\u0131lar. Bize \u00f6zel maskeli k\u0131yafetler verdiler. Kendileri giyiyorlar. Bizimle hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde konu\u015fmuyorlar g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcyorlar onlara da bula\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r\u0131z diye \u00e7ocu\u011fun hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131. Ne olur da bilinmiyor. Tabii bu arada onlar bize \u00f6zel yemekler getiriyorlar kendi yapt\u0131klar\u0131. Ama tabii k\u00fclt\u00fcr fark\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 biz onlar\u0131 yiyemiyoruz. \u015eimdi bu arada ak\u015fam oldu ama biz \u00e7ok ac\u0131kt\u0131k. Tabii hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yemedi\u011fimiz i\u00e7in. E\u015fim bir arkada\u015f\u0131na s\u00f6yledi T\u00fcrk marketinden \u015funlar\u0131 alsan getirsen diye. Bisk\u00fcvi falan. Arkada\u015f\u0131 da ald\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya getirdi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A\u015fa\u011f\u0131 indi e\u015fim. G\u00fcvenlik bir anda ka\u00e7maya ba\u015flad\u0131. E\u015fimin yan\u0131ndan uzakla\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Dur orda dedi. E\u015fim kald\u0131 yerinde. Arkada\u015f\u0131na dedi ki sen dedi paketi getir \u015fu ortaya koy dedi. A\u00e7\u0131k bir yol bulundu\u011fumuz yer. Arkada\u015f\u0131 getirdi oraya koydu paketi. Sen \u015fimdi git dedi geriye git uzaklas dedi. O gitti sonra e\u015fime dedi ki sen \u015fimdi git o paketi al dedi. E\u015fim y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flay\u0131nca g\u00fcvenlik daha \u00e7ok uzakla\u015ft\u0131 arkas\u0131ndan ka\u00e7maya ba\u015flad\u0131. Biz art\u0131k yani ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131k. Vebali gibi olmu\u015ftuk. Sonra e\u015fim paketi ald\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar yediler doydular.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Biz orada iki g\u00fcn kald\u0131k karantinada. \u0130ki g\u00fcn sonra yanl\u0131\u015f te\u015fhis oldu\u011fu s\u00f6ylendi. Bula\u015f\u0131c\u0131 bir hastal\u0131k de\u011filmi\u015f. El ayak a\u011f\u0131z hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. Bu mikroptan kaynaklanan bir hastal\u0131k bunu da ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f olduk.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Velhas\u0131l\u0131 kelam \u015fimdi bir \u015fehirdeyiz. O abinin, e\u015fimin arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6yledi\u011fi evdeyiz. Evimiz olmu\u015f oldu. O\u011flum k\u0131z\u0131m tabii ilk eve girdi\u011fimizde biz mutfa\u011fa oturduk. Mutfakta 2 g\u00fcn boyunca mutfakta yatm\u0131\u015f\u0131z. O kadar al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f\u0131z ki tek bir odada ya\u015famaya. Ya inan\u0131n \u00f6b\u00fcr odalar\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011funu bilmiyoruz, unutuyoruz hani \u00f6b\u00fcr odalara girmemiz gerekti\u011fini. \u0130nsan\u0131n yatak odas\u0131 oturma odas\u0131 oldu\u011funu yemin ediyorum yani akl\u0131m\u0131za gelmiyor. Orada yat\u0131p kalkt\u0131k ilk 2 g\u00fcn 3. g\u00fcn. Dedik yani e\u015fimle birbirimize bak\u0131p g\u00fclmeye ba\u015flad\u0131k. Biz ne napiyoruz hani ba\u015fka odalarda da yatabiliriz bunun daha kolay bir yolu var yani. O kadar al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f\u0131z ki her \u015feyi tek bir odada ya\u015famaya.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra eve ilk girdi\u011fimizde o\u011flum soruyor; anne oraya gelebilir miyim? Anne \u015fu odaya da bakabilir miyim? \u0130\u015fte \u00f6yle… inanam\u0131yorduk yani biz kendimiz bile. Yani hala \u00f6yleyiz. Sanki i\u00e7eriden bi ev sahibi gelecek de hani biz misafiriz de bizi \u00e7\u0131karacak gibi geliyor. Yani hala inanam\u0131yoruz al\u0131\u015fam\u0131yoruz eve. K\u0131z\u0131m odalar\u0131 geziyor b\u00f6yle emekliyor \u015fu anda odalar\u0131 geziyor ko\u015fturuyor seviniyor alk\u0131\u015f yap\u0131yor. Her odaya girip alk\u0131\u015f yap\u0131yor. Bu ya\u015f\u0131na ra\u011fmen. Bir bu\u00e7uk ya\u015f\u0131nda su an. Ama i\u015fte erken do\u011fum olmas\u0131, tedavi g\u00f6rememesi sebebiyle biraz geli\u015fim gerili\u011fi var. \u0130n\u015fallah duan\u0131z\u0131 da bekliyoruz. G\u00f6zlerinde s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar var. O \u00f6yle yani \u015fu anda halimiz bu. Biz de eve al\u0131\u015fmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz normal hayata d\u00f6nmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(11)<\/b><\/p>\n

\u015eu an halimiz bu elhamd\u00fclillah. Allah \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtmas\u0131n. Biz yanl\u0131\u015f yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z hi\u00e7bir zaman d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmedik. Arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n yanl\u0131\u015f yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 akl\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ucundan ge\u00e7irmedik. Hep bize burada G\u00fclenist misiniz diye sordular. Evet \u00f6yleydik. Yani hi\u00e7bir zaman da <\/span>Fethullah G\u00fclen’den<\/span> yana hi\u00e7 bir yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131k oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmedik. Her zaman ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcne dedik. Yani onun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda fikrimizi de\u011fi\u015ftirecek hi\u00e7bir \u015fey olmad\u0131. \u00c7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr hep ayn\u0131 yerimizde dim dik durmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Allah lay\u0131k etsin in\u015fallah durabilmi\u015fizdir. Yani in\u015fallah karde\u015flerimizi de T\u00fcrkiye\u2019yi de Allah kurtars\u0131n. Allah bir an \u00f6nce do\u011fru yolu onlara g\u00f6stersin. Adaletini versin. Bir an \u00f6nce do\u011fru kararlara hakimlerin kalbin a\u00e7s\u0131n karde\u015flerimizi kurtars\u0131n. Zul\u00fcm alt\u0131nda ezilen t\u00fcm milletten olan t\u00fcm insanlar\u0131 kurtars\u0131n. Sadece bizim karde\u015flerimiz T\u00fcrkiye ad\u0131na de\u011fil. \u00d6yle yani \u015fu an her \u015feyimiz bu. Bu arada mahkemede ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir olayi\u0131 anlatmak istiyorum\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(12)<\/b><\/p>\n

Hakim bey sorgu s\u0131ras\u0131nda \u015fey sordu bana. Bu kabul ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z mahkemeden \u00f6nceki g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmede. Ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun Almanya hakk\u0131nda dedi. Dedim ki Almanya’yi \u00e7ok sevdim, siz bizi (burada ayl\u0131k para veriyorlar har\u00e7l\u0131k gibi ki\u015fi ba\u015f\u0131 i\u015fte 90 Euro) dedim ki o verdi\u011finiz paralar\u0131n hepsini not ediyorum. Ger\u00e7ekten de not ediyorum. Sonras\u0131nda durumum d\u00fczeldi\u011finde ve bu durumdan kurtulup da bir i\u015f buldu\u011fumda paran\u0131n hepsini tamamen devletinize ba\u011f\u0131\u015f yapmak istiyorum dedim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc dedim biz hani \u00f6yle o paray\u0131 alay\u0131m onun \u00fcst\u00fcne yatay\u0131m, b\u00f6yle k\u00f6t\u00fcye kullanay\u0131m, b\u00f6yle insanlar de\u011filiz dedim. Hepsini not al\u0131yorum dedim. T\u00fcm Alman milletine minnettar\u0131m dedim. Ve hepsini de geri \u00f6deyece\u011fim dedim. Durumumuz d\u00fczeldi\u011finde ilk isim bu olacak dedim. Hakim duyguland\u0131. Ben de bunlar\u0131 a\u011flayarak s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftim. Duyguland\u0131 dedi ki buna hi\u00e7 gerek yok dedi. Biz bunu size \u00f6d\u00fcn\u00e7 vermiyoruz. Ben sizin hareketinizi \u00e7ok iyi biliyorum dedi. Sen dedi o paralar\u0131 evet yaz. \u00c7ok do\u011fru yap\u0131yorsun ama dedi biriktir. Senden sonra gelen arkada\u015flar\u0131na ver olur mu dedi. Bu da bana ayr\u0131 bir incelik olarak gelmi\u015fti. Ger\u00e7ekten yani Allah yani yard\u0131mc\u0131lar\u0131 olsun bu insanlar\u0131n. \u00c7ok iyi kalpliler. Bizi \u00e7ok iyi kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131lar. Yani s\u00f6yledi\u011fim gibi hepsine minnettar\u0131m. \u015eu anda da halimiz b\u00f6yle. Bu kadar anlatacaklar\u0131m<\/span><\/p>\n

(13)<\/b><\/p>\n

Benim en b\u00fcy\u00fck idealim de buradaki insanlar\u0131 tan\u0131mak. Onlara kendimizi anlatmakt\u0131. Kom\u015fumla tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z zaman da hemen s\u00f6yledim yani biz G\u00fclenistiz biliyor musunuz diye s\u00f6yledim. \u00c7ok duyguland\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc burada Almanya\u2019 da birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00f6nce bir haber \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 gazetelerde Meri\u00e7 Nehri’nde 1000 tane cenaze oldu\u011fu yaz\u0131yordu. G\u00fclenistler oldu\u011fu yaz\u0131yordu. \u00c7ok etkilenmi\u015f. Sizi dedi \u00e7ok iyi tan\u0131yorum ben gazetelerden okumu\u015ftum. Yard\u0131ma ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131z oldu\u011funda her zaman ben buraday\u0131m dedi. Bana evini g\u00f6sterdi. \u015eu katta oturuyorum dedi. Ne zaman istersen benden yard\u0131m alabilirsin dedi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bunu ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m orada anlatmak istedim. Yani yurt d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan gelip hani bizim gibi ka\u00e7ak sahte pasaportla ge\u00e7mi\u015ftik C.’nin pasaport sahteydi ve \u015f\u00fcphe uyand\u0131ran herkese yap\u0131yorlar. Hepimiz ayn\u0131 odada kald\u0131k. Kampta 4 ki\u015fi d\u00f6rd\u00fcm\u00fcz ayn\u0131 odada kald\u0131k. Biz 4 ki\u015fi kal\u0131yorduk. Kamp 600 ki\u015filik bir kamp. 150 ki\u015fisi bizim G\u00fclenist arkada\u015flardan. 150 ki\u015fisi 20 aile olarak farkl\u0131 odalarda. 20 oda vard\u0131 yani bizim arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z. Tuvalet ve banyolar ortakt\u0131. 650 ki\u015fiyle ayn\u0131 tuvaleti ayn\u0131 banyoyu kullan\u0131yorsunuz. Kamptan hafta i\u00e7i 24 hafta sonu 48 saat \u00e7\u0131kma hakk\u0131 var. \u0130nsanlar hafta i\u00e7i tabii \u00e7\u0131kam\u0131yorlar \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc gidecek bir yer yok. Haftasonu bizim gibi b\u00f6yle gelmi\u015f kabul alm\u0131\u015f aileler ya da buran\u0131n yerle\u015fik ki\u015fileri her hafta bir aileyi davet ediyorlar. Her hafta sonu evlerine o aile cuma g\u00fcn\u00fc geliyor pazar g\u00fcn\u00fc geri d\u00f6n\u00fcyor kampa. Ya da cumartesi geliyor pazar tekrar d\u00f6n\u00fcyor\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(14)<\/b><\/p>\n

Kamp farkl\u0131 Milletler ile birlikte 650 ki\u015filik bir Kampt\u0131. 150 ki\u015fisi bizim arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ayn\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n olu\u015fturdu\u011fu ki\u015filer. Tabi \u00e7ok farkl\u0131 ma\u011fduriyetler vard\u0131: Bir arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131 mesela hamile, yeni evli. Meri\u00e7\u2019ten ge\u00e7mi\u015fler. Ne ka\u00e7ak\u00e7\u0131 ne bi\u015fey. Kendilerine \u015fi\u015fme bot alm\u0131\u015flar. Kendileri o botu \u015fi\u015firmi\u015fler sonra ona binip kendileri s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fler ve kar\u015f\u0131ya ge\u00e7mi\u015fler ve hamile bu arkada\u015f\u0131m\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ba\u015fka bir arkada\u015f\u0131m vard\u0131 5 tane \u00e7ocu\u011fu olan. E\u015fi \u00f6nceden kar\u015f\u0131ya Meri\u00e7’e ge\u00e7iyor. Y\u00fczerek ge\u00e7iyor Meri\u00e7’i. Bot bile yok. Y\u00fczerek ge\u00e7mi\u015f. Sonra Yunanistan’dan ev tutuyor araba kiral\u0131yor. Kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ve 5 \u00e7ocu\u011funu da tekrar d\u00f6n\u00fcyor. \u015ei\u015fme botla d\u00f6n\u00fcyor bu sefer onlar\u0131 da bota bindiriyor ve o \u015fekilde ge\u00e7iriyor sonras\u0131nda ailecek ge\u00e7meyi deniyorlar. Fakat 5 \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in ge\u00e7emiyorlar tabii ki. Abi \u00f6nce ge\u00e7iyor. Ge\u00e7iyor Almanya’ya. Sonra kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u0130talya \u00fczerinden ge\u00e7irmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015facak yinebizim denedi\u011fimiz yoldan ve orada kar\u0131s\u0131 5 tane \u00e7ocukla beraber o limana geliyorlar.<\/span><\/p>\n

Farkl\u0131 bir limandan onlar\u0131 da ge\u00e7irmiyorlar ama \u00e7ocuklar bir \u015fekilde biniyorlar. \u00dc\u00e7 tane \u00e7ocu\u011fu biniyor. Kuca\u011f\u0131ndaki \u00e7ocu\u011fuyla iki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocu\u011fu var iki \u00e7ocu\u011fuyla abla kal\u0131yor. O \u00e7ocuklar gemiye biniyorlar. Ve gemiyle iki g\u00fcnde ge\u00e7iyorsunuz \u0130talya’ya. Sonra abla tabii arkadan abla ile bir \u015fekilde nas\u0131l oluyor zaten bende ayr\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyorum abla da iki \u00e7ocu\u011fuyla ayn\u0131 feribota biniyor. Bu \u00e7ocuklarda en b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fc 13 ya da 14 Ya\u015f\u0131nda. K\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu.O iki tane karde\u015fini ge\u00e7iriyor orada \u0130ngilizce konu\u015fuyor diyor ki oradaki g\u00f6revliler soruyorlar. Tabii dikkat \u00e7ekiyor \u00e7ocuklar 3 tane \u00e7ocuk var ba\u015f\u0131bo\u015f diyor ki biz Bulgariz diyor. Annemin ad\u0131 M. diyor. Ondan sonra bu annesini ar\u0131yor. ilk g\u00fcn annesini bulam\u0131yor feribotun i\u00e7inde. 2. G\u00fcn\u00fc annesiyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yor. O arada annesine g\u00f6revliler tutuyor diyor ki senin ad\u0131n ne? Hani emin olmak i\u00e7in onun \u00e7ocu\u011fu mu de\u011fil mi diye. Ablam\u0131z da \u00e7ok do\u011fal bir insan. H. diyor. \u00d6yle olunca annesine \u00e7ok k\u0131zm\u0131\u015f bizim k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ufakl\u0131k. Sonra orada \u0130talya\u2019ya’ indikten sonra 1000 kilometre karayolu ile Almanya’ya geldiler onlar da. Onlar da kabul ald\u0131 \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr. Onlar da evlerindeler.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra bir g\u00fcn yine kampta bir arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z daha vard\u0131 50 ya\u015flar\u0131nda kar\u0131 kocalar biri 45 biri 50 ya\u015f\u0131ndad\u0131r. 4 tane \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 var. \u0130kisini T\u00fcrkiye’de b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015flar ikisi yanlar\u0131nda. Bir O\u011flu Bir K\u0131z\u0131 T\u00fcrkiye’de iki k\u0131z\u0131 yan\u0131nda. Bir g\u00fcn banyoda h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131k sesleri duydum. Ama su sesi yok. Yani banyo yap\u0131lm\u0131yor. Oray\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m dedim ki ne oldu abla dedim. art\u0131k dayanam\u0131yorum dedi. Evlatlar\u0131mi \u00e7ok \u00f6zledim dedi. \u00d6yle ma\u011fduriyetler de vard\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra bir g\u00fcn bir arkada\u015f geldi. \u00c7ok gen\u00e7 daha \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck. Yani bizlerden k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck yeni evlenmi\u015f. Evlenmi\u015f iki ay sonra hapse at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. Dokuz ay i\u00e7erde yatm\u0131\u015f sonra \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f. Ondan sonra o dedi ki; abla dedi bir g\u00fcn bize oturmaya \u00e7aya \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u00f6yle \u015feyler yapabiliyorduk odam\u0131zda \u00e7ay i\u00e7ebiliyorduk. Abla dedi b\u00f6yle d\u0131\u015far\u0131 bakarak hi\u00e7 unutmuyorum o sahneyi. Biz daha genciz de\u011fil mi abla dedi. Ama dedi ben inanm\u0131yorum gen\u00e7 oldu\u011fuma dedi. Ama sorsan\u0131z belki 23 belki 24tu arkada\u015f\u0131n ya\u015f\u0131. Yani o kadar ya\u015fland\u0131rd\u0131 bu s\u00fcre\u00e7. \u0130n\u015fallah ge\u00e7ecek. In\u015fallah g\u00fczel g\u00fcnler gelecek. \u00dclkemizin aln\u0131nda da g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011facak in\u015fallah. Buna inan\u0131yoruz yani. Allah raz\u0131 olsun dinledi\u011finiz i\u00e7in. Benim anlatacaklar\u0131m bu kadar.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
Copyrighted to Undaunted Voices of Turkey<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Story of a preschool teacher who was once acknowledged with many awards but labeled a terrorist later: a mother who had to give birth all alone, a wife who had to afford her family\u2019s life by painting stones, surely a warrior who had to leave everything she built behind.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6241,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[24,9,14],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6241"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=349"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":352,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions\/352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}