{"id":332,"date":"2020-04-05T20:35:52","date_gmt":"2020-04-06T00:35:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/?p=332"},"modified":"2020-04-05T20:40:43","modified_gmt":"2020-04-06T00:40:43","slug":"interview-22","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/2020\/04\/05\/interview-22\/","title":{"rendered":"Interview #22"},"content":{"rendered":"

Being a teacher who devoted herself to education, her students were the only ones she missed even more than her own children when she was incarcerated. Leaving all her loved ones behind, she had to spend 7 months in prison where she was kept as a substitute for her police officer husband. This is the story of a woman who was surprised when the guardian hugged her and cried with joy when she was released. Yet,\u00a0with fear\u00a0of being taken to prison back and being judged without due process, she had to flee Turkey with another fear: wading through Evros River with her little ones.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Back to list of interviews<\/a><\/p>\n

English Translation:<\/strong><\/p>\n

(1)<\/b><\/p>\n

My name \u2026 I am a 32 year old teacher and\u00a0 mother of two sons. They are 6 and 2.5 years old. My husband is a Police Academy graduate. If he was appointed, he would be serving as a Chief Police Officer. The biggest change in our life, like everyone else, happened after December, 17\/25\/2013 news. After Tayyip Erdogan\u2019s corruption tapes were published, he appointed everyone, whom he saw as a threat to his authority, to different places.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My husband was appointed to another Police Station in X. He used to work during the day. When one of the supervisors saw him, he ordered that my husband would work the night shift. After that, even though we didn\u2019t request, at the end of that year, they appointed us to city \u201cQ\u201d. We went there, and he started working but they kept reappointing him from one placeto another. He had arguments with his supervisors, none of them was for his sake or personal gain. I would like to tell you about one of them. One of his immediate subordinates is on stand guard duty at night and there is no protection. He is completely alone the entire night behind a sand sack. When my husband was inspecting the officers who were on guard duty, he saw them in fear and brought it to his supervisor\u2019s attention but there was no response from them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They requested it in writing but they did not sign any papers because they did not want\u00a0 to take any responsibilities. Therefore, my husband and his supervisors had arguments. One of the supervisors\u2019, he had an argument with, has a son at the school I work at. He went over the line and claimed that I am taking revenge by failing his son because he disagreed with my husband. This incident had reached all the way to the Department of Education. One day the\u00a0 principal summoned me and said \u201cyou need to increase this student\u2019s notes so he can pass the class.\u201d I rejected it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He told me that the lieutenant governor called him at 11pm and insisted that I should pass the student by increasing his grades but the student doesn\u2019t deserve this at all; he is disrespectful, doesn\u2019t have manners, doesn\u2019t study at all, and he already repeated a grade. If he repeats the same grade again, he will be suspended and he already had other penalties because of discipline issues. I told the principal that I would not change his grades unfairly -If I do, I need to give all other students 100.<\/span><\/p>\n

He said \u201cAre you saying this because other students do not know any governor, or lieutenant governor who can favor them?\u201d and we had an argument. He reported this argument to the Department of Education. Then, one day the former head of DOE came to the school. They called me to the vice principal\u2019s room. When I went, he said \u201cYou probably know why I am here.\u201d I said \u201cYes, I figured. I guess you came for a particular student.\u201d Then, he added \u201cYes, but I didn’t come to impose any penalty as you expected, I came to thank you.\u201d I was in shock.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe support teachers like you, and we think yours was the right decision. I thank you for not obeying some outside powers.\u201d, he said. And I realized that I did the right thing by standing up for my students.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(2)<\/b><\/p>\n

At the beginning of our second year in city Q, they re-appointed my husband by giving the disagreements between him and his supervisors as an excuse. But I couldn\u2019t request to be appointed to the same city because the deadline had already passed. I asked for compassionate leave from my school, they refused. We wrote a letter, they didn\u2019t accept. Meanwhile, I was 7 months pregnant. My baby started to have health problems because of the stress I had. The doctors I visited advised me to go to big cities like Ankara, Izmir, Istanbul. My husband was appointed to city Y. I needed to be in city X and we decided to live separately for a while. My son and I moved to city X, -another moving journey began. The day after I gave birth, they started treatment. My husband had his job in city Y when I was in city X with my son. They didn\u2019t give paternity leave to my husband. He was only able to come after a letter from my doctor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We used to go to the hospital every week to renew the baby\u2019s plaster in his foot. My husband went back to his post. I stayed in city X with my son. We had to go to the doctor\u2019s office often. When the baby got a little better, we decided to move back to city Y. Especially my older son couldn\u2019t bear to live without his father. My husband was also studying at a university in Istanbul. He used to go to Istanbul twice a year to take his final exams. We went to Istanbul in June, 2016, and went back to city Y on June 14th after he took his exams.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Exactly after 1 month, the so-called coup happened. On that day, we went outside to eat dessert after my husband got home from his shift. My husband never turns off his police radio whether he is at home or at work. There were strange announcements in his radio. My husband said \u201cThere are some complications, things we don\u2019t understand, I don\u2019t get it.\u201d At the last announcement, it was said that \u201cIt is requested that all of the officers whether on duty or on leave come to their station with their equipment. There is an uprising apart from the chain of command.\u201d My husband panicked, took us home, got his gun, and kissed the kids. In the announcement they said \u201cIf a soldier comes, you can hold your gun against them.\u201d So, they had soldiers and policemen infight. My husband went to work without knowing what\u2019s happening. He didn\u2019t come for 3 nights and 3 days. He came home on Monday morning at 8 am and got a text message at 10 am saying \u201cYou need to come back to work.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

When he went to his station, they told him that he was suspended. We wrote a petition of objection and asked why this has happened. They said there is nothing they can do, the order came from higher authorities. We were highly frustrated. We never thought how hard it could be for a man, especially a policeman, to give up his gun and ID.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, our families learned what happened, and they asked us not to stay alone and come back to our hometown. We wrote another bill of exception to request to stay close to our\u00a0 families. They didn\u2019t respond to us right away but we decided to go back to our hometown, leaving our contact numbers. We also realized the variety of the news and comments about the coup attempt on TV and on social media. We learned about people who die from torture, who commit suicide, who have strokes, and who suffer apoplexy. We also heard that my husband\u2019s friends suffered from similar things. In the meantime, my husband was expelled, and then got fired. We needed a lot of money for my son\u2019s medical treatment. I was on maternity leave and was not planning on working. I wanted to raise my baby myself because of his conditions. After my husband got fired, I decided to work again and went back to city Y and continued teaching.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My husband told his mother and father that he will not make their job easier by coming, so he stayed in city M. My husband\u2019s parents and me went back to city Q.\u00a0 All was well in our lives, I was Turkish Literature teacher in a high school. However, I never made it noticeable that my husband wasn\u2019t staying with me. They could show some reactions, say mean things towards me. That\u2019s why I used to find excuses like he had a night shift, he is home, sleeping, etc. On April 25th, plainclothes police officers came to the school. The principal summoned me to his office. I thought they were from The Department of Education. \u201cWelcome.\u201d I said. The principal told me that they are from the police department and they need to take me to the station. I got ready and quickly went downstairs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The principal escorted me to the car. First they took me to the hospital for the health report, and then to the police station. While I was waiting, they took me to the chief and interrogated me unofficially, without a lawyer. When they interrogated me, they asked me questions about my husband, none of them was about me. They said they were looking for him, had a warrant, he knew but he did not surrender, etc. \u201cYou know where he is!\u201d they said. They told me that if I say it, they would release me easily, otherwise, they could send me to jail as well. They received my husband\u2019s phone signal from city A but when they tracked him down, they lost the signal. The same day, they issued an arrest warrant for me too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I told them that this is not a coincidence. They issued the arrest warrant in order to find my husband. I had no effect on their decision\u00a0 because they already made their mind. They threatened me with my kids. \u201cHow many kids do you have? Where do they live? Who takes care of them?\u201d they asked. \u201cTheir grandma is watching them at home.\u201d I said.They said\u201d If there is no one to take care of your kids, we can get them and social services will take care of them very well\u201d. They kept bringing up kids and kept threatening me with taking them away from me. I couldn\u2019t take it anymore and said to the chief \u201cDon\u2019t you\u00a0 have any kids?. I guess that\u2019s why you easily say that.\u201d He couldn\u2019t say anything at that time but later continued to do the same things. They asked \u201cKids are already left without a dad, now they will not have a mom either. Are you ok with this?\u201d I said \u201cIf it is in our destiny, it will happen. Not all kids grow up with their parents. If it is my kids\u2019 kismet, they will grow up.\u201d They said \u201cYou can leave.\u201d and sent me home.<\/span><\/p>\n

(3)<\/b><\/p>\n

After leaving the chief officer\u2019s office, they took me to the detention room on a floor that\u2019s below ground zero. One of the officers insisted on escorting me to the room, but the other one objected. I was so scared that they would do something bad to me because we hear a lot about torture, rape, and harassment. I kept praying for someone else to take me downstairs. Thankfully another police officer came and escorted me. Bathrooms were outside. I stayed there for 3 days. I got sick at night. When they put me behind the bars, they said if I need anything they will come take me if I wave at the camera but they never did.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was in need, I waved, hit the bars and walls, yelled and shouted but no one heard. On the other side, there were male arrestees and they heard me. Even they screamed \u201cThe woman is dying. Where are you!?\u201d I was so sick, had a migraine, I needed to go to the bathroom to throw up. I couldn\u2019t even do that in the room. They came after a couple of hours and I understood how others died in jails. They leave them to death. They took me out to the bathroom and then put me back in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The next day around 4-5pm, they took my testimony with a lawyer present and asked the same questions again. When did I contact my husband, when was the last time he called, how did he call, where is he, etc. I stayed there that day again. They took me to the prosecutor and he threatened me the same. I insisted that I didn\u2019t know anything. I asked why they didn\u2019t arrest my husband when they got the signal. He got so sad for me especially when he saw that my kids were waiting for me. He said \u201cI have to arrest you otherwise I will be in trouble. However, you should talk to the judge and explain your situation very clearly.\u201d\u00a0 Police officers who took me to the judge advised me the same thing and comforted me saying \u201cYou have two kids, tell your story, he might release you.\u201d However, it was clear that they already made their decision: I would be released if I tell where my husband is, otherwise arrested.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Judge asked similar questions and then said I have made my decision that I will give an arrest warrant for you. I was told that I yelled at him saying \u201cI didn\u2019t deserve this!\u201d My mother-in-law was waiting for me outside and she had an emotional breakdown. While they were taking me to prison. I saw my kids leaving behind. (crying..) But they didn\u2019t see me. I am so sorry but I am reliving these moments again when explaining it. I was waiting at the door for the car to come into the yard, I saw my colleagues running towards me, crying. The next time I remember, I smelled cologne that they used to wake me up and heard people telling me not to worry about the kids. I was in a really terrible emotional state.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They took me to\u00a0 prison and my kids were left with their grandma. My colleagues comforted them and took them to their houses, and offered food. They were always with them during my 7 month of stay in jail. When I was going to the jail, I was really worried about whom I would stay with . How would they treat me? I was a police officer\u2019s wife but I didn\u2019t even know the guardians were female there. I got really happy when I saw female guardians. They did a detailed search on me, and almost looked at every part. It was really degrading and insulting. I felt relieved to see people like me when I arrived at the ward.<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt relieved again when I saw that there was a door that opened to the yard. When I first got in, I thought I would be released quickly; however, it took 7 months. I realized nothing goes as we plan. The food was really bad in prison. They used to come in a big pot called \u201ckaravana\u201d. When the food was good, the person that distributes the food used to eat from the pot using her hands and when we noticed this, we couldn\u2019t even eat. Only during Ramadan, there was good food, but little in quantity. We ate little by little to eat fair amounts. We struggled to eat when we saw bird waste in the food they served.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They used to do headcounts in the morning and evening. Visitation rights that are given to other prisoners were not the same as ours. We had contact visits once\u00a0 every 2 months, non-contact visits every 15 days or every week. There were also phone contacts every 15 days. If there were any issues, they took it away for that week. Every time we had a visit, they did a detailed search on us, and after each visit they repeated it to the point where we felt harassed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We used to return to the ward in tears after having visits. There were women who were young ladies, newly married, who had babies.. The\u00a0 youngest baby was mine, he was 1 year old and still being breastfed. They gave me permission to have him with me but after seeing the conditions in the prison, I thought it wasn\u2019t possible. My baby had metal shoes called \u201catel\u201d, and it wasn\u2019t possible for him to crawl and walk on the cement floor with it. They didn\u2019t have any kids menu either. It wasn\u2019t a suitable place for him in terms of nutritious food and hygiene.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was really damp. In the evenings, especially when it rained, we used to see a lot of mice. We tried to catch them. They let us put traps. Every day, we used to catch 2-3 mice and dump them in the trash.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(4)<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In other wards, there was a cleaning crew that was assigned, but not in ours. So, we did everything by ourselves. As I said, we came back to the ward very upset after every visit. I would like to share one of my memories. My older son fell down one day at the beginning of the visit, and I couldn\u2019t even reach and hold his hand. When I got back, my friends were comforting me saying it\u2019s ok, our families took care of him, they held him up. I explained to them that it wasn\u2019t the fall that was difficult,, it was me not being able to hold him when he was that close to me. Others always used to comfort me since my kids were really young. I have even seen guardians crying after I get back from a visit. We had beautiful moments, sisterhoods at the same time. I remember one of my friends telling her husband \u201cI am willing to stay 3-4 more months if this baby\u2019s mom is released.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, no one could take others\u2019 prison time. We became a family in the ward, and the same thing went for our families who come to visit us. Our days used to pass reading Qur\u2019an and praying. I can read fast so I was able to read up to 300 pages per day. Every 3-4 days or a week, we used to have hatims (recitation of the whole Qur\u2019an).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Others were just like me. During the day, we prayed; and at night, we performed our night prayers called teheccud to enlighten our nights. We never skipped our tea sessions, we used to have it every day. When I was in prison, the people I missed even before my own kids were my students. (Crying..)<\/span><\/p>\n

I missed them so much that I had a dream about my students before my kids. They were shocked when they learned that I was arrested. They were so saddened, and cried so much.. The day before I was arrested, we were planting trees on the pathway to the school. Every teacher got a tree, and planted it with his or her students. The day before I was detained, my students were in another classroom, -the principal\u2019s daughter was among them. I loved them so much. My students said we would never plant the tree without you. The principal and the vice principal went there, but they asked for me. Then, they took me out of class just to plant the tree together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We had our own tree as class 11A , we wrote our class using stones. Other classes planted their trees after we did. All of my students came to visit me after getting released. I asked about our tree. \u201cAll of the trees grew but ours.\u201d, they said. When I was in ward, one of the guardians came and asked about me. She said if I have a student named X. I said I do. I started crying when I heard her name. She was the principal’s daughter.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The guardian continued: \u201cThey love you so much and miss you. They are all crying. They wrote \u201cWe love you, and we will always be with you.\u201d on a huge banner. They asked me to take it to you but I refused and told them that we are not allowed to talk to you. \u201cI just wanted to let you know.\u201d she said. I couldn\u2019t help myself to cry and she said \u201cDo not ever do this again. I will not tell you anything about them.\u201d I always felt my students\u2019 prayers with me. I felt their tears in my heart.\u00a0 When I got released, all of my colleagues came over to my house, even the ones who started working at our school after I left. \u201cWe heard about you a lot. We wanted to come to share our sympathy with you.\u201d, they said. All of my students came with a big flower bouquet and chocolate. They were all crying as they entered my house. They said they missed me so much when I was away.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They called me to the school after I was released but I couldn\u2019t go. The thing I missed the most in Turkey is my students. I wish they all got into great schools. I would like to mention the day of the hearing. The day before the hearing, I could not sleep all night like others because I was so stressed and nervous. I was curious how it would end. I had the fear of not knowing If I would return home or come back to this place again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt that there is nothing as painful as leaving your family behind, and returning to this place. There is nothing like freedom. As the guardian was escorting me to the door, I noticed she was murmuring but didn\u2019t want to ask what she was saying because I was so nervous. When I went to the court, the first thing the judge asked me was \u201cWhere is your husband? Why didn\u2019t he surrender\u201d I said he is not a little kid, he is able to make his decisions by himself and I am not to be held responsible for his actions. My lawyer said similar things. My client has been held as a hostage for 7 months. He claimed that there was no evidence. He stated that I could not be held hostage for my husband. My in-laws visited me with the baby so I can breastfeed him with permission from the prosecution office. As the prosecutor was giving the permission, he told them that I should tell them where my husband is, it is inevitable that I will end up in prison otherwise. At the hearing, we repeated the same thing with all the evidence. \u201cThe mercy your husband didn\u2019t show you was shown by your government. I hope you acknowledge and value that.\u201d the judge said when he decided to release me.<\/span><\/p>\n

(5)<\/b><\/p>\n

We went back to jail. They summoned the guardian to take me back to the ward. When she saw me, she asked what happened. I said \u201cI am released\u201d. She took me to the room they searched us and hugged me so tight. She said \u201cI wanted you to be released the most because you have little kids and I could not take it anymore.\u201d When I was taking you outside, I said prayers and hoped that you would get released for your kids\u2019 sake.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was given a provisional release, so I needed to go to the police station every week and give a signature. I waited for about 2 months to return back to my job but they didn\u2019t call. They said it might take a year or even 2, as the mayors were afraid of getting labeled. So, they did not accept people like me. The officer at the department of education expressed this clearly. We were paying rent, while I wasn\u2019t and couldn\u2019t work. I could not even complete my kid\u2019s medical treatment. When I was in jail, no one took him to city A for his treatment. We used to go to city A every month but it wasn\u2019t possible when I was in prison.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We decided to return to city A and live with my in-laws to cut down our costs. I continued to sign in city A. We realized that the reason they released me was to be able to reach out to my husband. We were suffocated to live in fear without freedom. With every door knock, we were wondering if policemen came again. We decided to flee Turkey. We left Turkey on April 1st.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We are free now and together. My younger son experienced how to be a family with mom and dad after we left Turkey. My older son just started to overcome his fears. We were going to visit a place and prepared our luggage. My son asked where we were going. When his dad said \u201cWe are returning to Turkey.\u201d he started crying saying \u201cI don\u2019t want to go there. I don\u2019t want to experience the same thing over again.\u201d He was aware of everything. When he came to visit me, he used to tell me every time \u201cIf I knew my hand wouldn\u2019t hurt, I would break the glass and touch you, mom.\u201d in tears. Even though my younger one didn\u2019t know what was going on, he used to listen to me behind the glass and never wanted to give the phone to others. We had tough times and wishing these days got better in time. May Allah help others who are behind. We hope that they also can get back to their life as soon as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

(6)<\/b><\/p>\n

We are 4 siblings. My oldest brother died from a car accident 5 years ago, 3 sisters are left. My sister\u2019s husband is also in prison for similar reasons, and she had similar experiences for the same reasons. My sister has 3 kids, and my deceased brother also had 3 kids. They could not leave the kids alone. Since my mom and dad were taking care of my siblings\u2019 children, they could only visit me from one contact visitation to another one. It was 15 hours between the cities. Thankfully, they were always supportive. They always said they were with us, and confirmed that we did nothing wrong. When we told them that we would flee the country, they objected because they were worried about our safety when fleeing. Finally, we crossed the Meric river to flee the country.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We had to leave the country illegally because it was not possible any other way. My husband had an arrest warrant. I was forbidden to go abroad. I used to sign in every week. Since I would not be able to sign in, illegal ways were the only option. Both of our parents objected and said we could not cross the river with a boat with the kids. \u201cAre we going to collect the kids\u2019 corpses in the river?\u201d, they yelled.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I needed to get money from my parents a couple days before we left. I called my mom in the morning and said \u201cCould you please come to the terminal?\u201d \u201cOk, dear. I will.\u201d, she said and sounded very calm. She had a dream that night. She saw my son, me, and some other people. She and other people had some type of disease in their eyes, and they were healed as they rubbed their eyes. Then, they admitted that \u201cThese people are not terrorists. They are good people.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Thinking and hoping Allah will help us, we decided to cross the river. We met in the city with my husband. We drove to city E. We got on the boat with another family. We were 11 people in the same boat. After about 15 minutes, we landed on the other side. Then, we started walking. The military police found us and asked how we came and who we came with. After we responded to their questions, they asked us to wait. Then they took us to custodial prison. We stayed there overnight.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Next day after the paperwork was done, they sent us to another custodial prison where there were about 50-60 people staying. It was a place where smoking was permitted and both men and women stayed together and shared bathrooms. It was very dirty. We left that place after one day. We stayed in Greece for about 2.5 months. We attempted to go to another country a couple times but we were turned down because the visa in our passports expired. We waited for the tourist season and then successfully moved to another country. This is all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Turkish Transcription:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Back to list of interviews<\/a><\/p>\n

(1)<\/b><\/p>\n

Ismim\u2026.. \u00f6\u011fretmenim, 32 ya\u015f\u0131nday\u0131m. 2 tane erkek \u00e7ocu\u011fum var. Biri 6 ya\u015f\u0131nda di\u011feri 2 bu\u00e7uk ya\u015f\u0131nda. E\u015fim polis akademisi mezunu. E\u011fer rutbesi verilmi\u015f olsayd\u0131 Emniyet Amirli\u011fi g\u00f6revinde olacakt\u0131 \u015fu an. Bu sebeplerden dolay\u0131 bizim hayat\u0131m\u0131zdaki b\u00fcy\u00fck de\u011fi\u015fiklik herkes de oldu\u011fu gibi 17\/25 Aral\u0131k olaylar\u0131 ile ba\u015flad\u0131. Tayyip Erdo\u011fan\u2019in kendi\u00a0 h\u0131rs\u0131zlik tapelerinin yay\u0131nlanmas\u0131ndan sonra \u00f6n\u00fcne ta\u015f koyabilecek b\u00fct\u00fcn herkesin g\u00f6rev yerleri de\u011fi\u015ftirildi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E\u015fimin Y’deki g\u00f6rev yeri \u015fehir i\u00e7erisinde de\u011fi\u015ftirildi farkl\u0131 bir \u015fubeye verildi. Hatta o \u015fubede g\u00fcnd\u00fcz \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. M\u00fcd\u00fcrlerinden bir tanesi g\u00f6r\u00fcp -bunlar\u0131 neden g\u00fcnd\u00fcz \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorsunuz geceye verin b\u00f6yle insanlar\u0131 deyip geceye vermi\u015fler. Sonras\u0131nda Biz taleb etmemis olmam\u0131za ra\u011fmen o y\u0131l\u0131n sonunda tayinimizi \u201cQ\u201diline \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131lar.\u00a0 Biz \u201cQ\u201d iline gittik, tayinimizi ald\u0131rd\u0131k. Orada da g\u00f6rev yaparken ayn\u0131 sistem yine ba\u015flad\u0131 e\u015fimin g\u00f6rev yeri oradan oraya oradan oraya yine de\u011fi\u015ftirildi. M\u00fcd\u00fcrleri ile aralar\u0131nda tart\u0131\u015fmalar ya\u015fand\u0131. Ama bu tart\u0131\u015fmalar da hi\u00e7 birisi kendi ad\u0131na, \u015fahsi \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131 ad\u0131na olmad\u0131. Bir tanesini anlatmak istiyorum size; alt\u0131nda oldu\u011fu memurun bir tanesi n\u00f6bet tutuyor, n\u00f6bet tuttu\u011fu yerde de gece tutuldu\u011fu i\u00e7in hi\u00e7bir koruma yok, sadece kum \u00e7uval\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131nda gece boyunca yaln\u0131z kal\u0131yor. E\u015fim de onlar\u0131n n\u00f6bet yerlerini gezdi\u011finde, onlar\u0131n o kadar korkarak titreyerek beklediklerini g\u00f6r\u00fcnce bunu m\u00fcd\u00fcrlerine iletiyor fakat onlardan herhangi bir cevap gelmiyor<\/span><\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131l\u0131 olarak beyan etmeleri istiyorlar onu da yapm\u0131yorlar hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin alt\u0131na imzalar\u0131n\u0131 atm\u0131yorlar sorumluluk bizim \u00fczerimizde kalmas\u0131n diye. Bundan dolay\u0131 da e\u015fimle m\u00fcd\u00fcrleri aras\u0131nda tart\u0131\u015fma \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. Hatta tart\u0131\u015fma ya\u015fad\u0131gi m\u00fcd\u00fcrlerden bir tanesinin o\u011flu da benim \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m okulda rehber s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131nda yer alan o\u011frencilerden bir tanesi. Bu m\u00fcd\u00fcr i\u015fi o kadar ilerletiyor ki emniyette e\u015fimle olan tart\u0131\u015fman\u0131n h\u0131nc\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fcya ben onun o\u011flundan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yormu\u015fum gibi bir tav\u0131r sergilemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Bu mesele ta Milli E\u011fitim’e kadar gidiyor. Bir g\u00fcn okuldayken M\u00fcd\u00fcr Bey beni yan\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor diyor ki -bu \u00f6\u011frencinin s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n\u0131 ge\u00e7mesi laz\u0131m ve notlar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fckseltmeniz laz\u0131m siz y\u00fckselttiginiz takdirde s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n\u0131 ge\u00e7ecek. Ben de buna itiraz ediyorum\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kendisi vali yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n gecenin 11’inde arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyerek \u0131srarla bana notlar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fckseltmemi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor ama \u00f6\u011frenci hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde notlar\u0131 ge\u00e7irilecek bir \u00f6\u011frenci de\u011fil; sayg\u0131 yok, terbiye yok, ders \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma hi\u00e7 yok, s\u0131n\u0131f tekrar yapm\u0131\u015f bir \u00f6\u011frenci. O senede kal\u0131rsa okuldan uzakla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131 gereken bir \u00f6\u011frenci disiplin cezas\u0131 \u00fczerine ceza alm\u0131\u015f bir \u00f6\u011frenci zaten. Ben de bu \u00f6\u011frencinin haks\u0131z yere notlar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fckseltmeyece\u011fimi belirttim -e\u011fer \u00f6\u011frenciyi ge\u00e7irirsem di\u011fer b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6\u011frencilere y\u00fcz vermem gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yledim m\u00fcd\u00fcr beye<\/span><\/p>\n

Di\u011ferlerinin vali yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131 vali tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in mi bunlar\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorsunuz diye m\u00fcd\u00fcr beyle aram\u0131zda ufak bir tart\u0131\u015fma ya\u015fad\u0131k. Bu tart\u0131\u015fma da benim Milli E\u011fitim’e \u015fikayet edilmeme kadar gitmi\u015f. Sonra okula bir g\u00fcn eski milli e\u011fitim m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fc geldi. Beni \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar m\u00fcd\u00fcr bas yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n odas\u0131na gitti\u011fimde \u201cHocam ne i\u00e7in geldi\u011fimi tahmin edebiliyor musunuz\u201d dedi. Bende \u201cevet tahmin edebiliyorum bir \u00f6\u011frenci i\u00e7in geldiniz galiba hocam\u201d dedim \u201cEvet ama sizin bekledi\u011finiz gibi size herhangi bir ceza uygulama i\u00e7in gelmedim, size sadece te\u015fekk\u00fcr etmek i\u00e7in geldim\u201d dedi ben o zaman daha \u00e7ok \u015fok oldum<\/span><\/p>\n

Dedi ki \u201cHocam biz b\u00f6yle \u00f6\u011fretmenlerin arkas\u0131nday\u0131z verdi\u011finiz karar\u0131n cok do\u011fru oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fck baz\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7lere kar\u015f\u0131 yenilmedi\u011finizi g\u00f6sterdi\u011finiz i\u00e7in size te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim\u201d dedi. Ben de bir kez daha \u00f6\u011frencilerimin yan\u0131nda oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n do\u011fru oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

(2)<\/b><\/p>\n

Daha sonra \u201cQ\u201d ilinde 2.y\u0131la ba\u015flayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z zamanda e\u015fimin tayinini ba\u015fka bir ile \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131lar buna gerek\u00e7e olarak da m\u00fcd\u00fcrleri ile tart\u0131\u015fmas\u0131ni one surduler. Fakat benim e\u015f durumundan tayin isteme\u00a0 durumum yoktu tarihler \u00e7oktan ge\u00e7mi\u015fti. Okuldan mazeret izni istiyorum izin vermiyorlar, e\u015f durumu atamas\u0131 yapam\u0131yoruz tarihler ge\u00e7mi\u015f, dilek\u00e7e yaz\u0131yoruz kabul etmiyorlar ve bende bu s\u00fcre i\u00e7erisinde 7 ayl\u0131k hamileydim. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu streslerle bebe\u011fimde sa\u011flik problemleri olusmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Gitti\u011fim doktorlar bu tedavinin Ankara \u0130zmir \u0130stanbul gibi b\u00fcy\u00fck \u015fehirlerde yap\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler. E\u015fimin tayini \u201cQ\u201d iline \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Benim X’de olmam gerekiyordu ve e\u015fimle art\u0131k yollar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ay\u0131rmaya karar verdik. Ben di\u011fer oglumla birlikte X\u2019e evimizi ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131k o \u015fekilde bir e\u015fya ta\u015f\u0131ma ser\u00fcveni daha ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmi\u015f olduk. Do\u011fumun ertesi g\u00fcn\u00fc zaten tedaviye ba\u015flad\u0131k. E\u015fim Q\u2019de g\u00f6rev yap\u0131yordu, ben X\u2019te o\u011flumla birlikte kald\u0131m. Do\u011fumda e\u015fime izin vermediler ancak benim doktorumun yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 dilek\u00e7e sonucunda benim do\u011fumuma gelebildi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ertesi g\u00fcn de bebe\u011fin tedavisine ba\u015flad\u0131k her hafta doktora gidiyorduk \u00c7ocu\u011fun ayak alcis\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in. Daha sonra e\u015fim tekrar g\u00f6reve d\u00f6nd\u00fc, ben iki oglumla birlikte X\u2019te kalmaya devam ettim. Durmadan doktora gidip gelmemiz gerekiyordu.Tedavide 1 a\u015fama ilerleyince e\u015fyay\u0131 tekrar Q’ye ta\u015f\u0131maya karar ald\u0131k. \u00d6zellikle b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flum babas\u0131ndan ayr\u0131 kalmaya dayanam\u0131yordu. Daha sonra e\u015fyam\u0131z\u0131 tekrar Q\u2019ye ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131k. Esim ayn\u0131 zamanda universite \u00f6\u011frencisiydi. Y\u0131lda iki kez s\u0131navlara gidip geliyordu. 2016 y\u0131l\u0131nda Haziran ay\u0131nda Z iline gittik, e\u015fim s\u0131navlar\u0131na girdi Haziran’\u0131n 14’\u00fcnde biz tekrardan Y\u2019ye d\u00f6nd\u00fck.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tam bir ay sonras\u0131nda darbe diye an\u0131lan olay ger\u00e7ekle\u015fti. Biz olay g\u00fcn\u00fc o g\u00fcn e\u015fim n\u00f6betten geldi\u011fi i\u00e7in d\u0131\u015far\u0131da tatl\u0131 yemeye gitmi\u015ftik.E\u015fim i\u015fte de olsa evde de olsa telsizini hi\u00e7bir zaman kapatm\u0131yordu acayip anonslar gelmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Esim \u201ckar\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131klar var, ne oldu\u011funu anlayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z olaylar var, ama anlayamad\u0131m\u201d dedi. Sonra en son gelen anonsta da \u201cG\u00f6revde olan veya izinde olan b\u00fct\u00fcn memurlar b\u00fct\u00fcn te\u00e7hizatlar\u0131 ile birlikte g\u00f6rev yerine gelmesi isteniyor Emir komuta zinciri d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda asker ayaklanmas\u0131 vard\u0131r\u201d diye bir anons geldi. E\u015fim panikledi bizi hemen eve g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc silah\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 \u00f6pt\u00fc, helalle\u015ftik . anonsta asker geldi\u011fi zaman silah\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 askere kar\u015f\u0131 do\u011frultun diye gecmisti, yani polisle asker bir arada \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmaya tutuldu. E\u015fimde ne oldu\u011funu anlamadan g\u00f6rev yerine gitti ve 3 g\u00fcn 3 gece boyunca eve gelmedi. Pazartesi sabah 8\u2019de eve geldi 10\u2019da telefonuna mesaj geldi daireye gelmeniz gerekiyor diye.<\/span><\/p>\n

Gitti\u011finde de a\u00e7\u0131\u011fa al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015fler. \u0130tiraz dilek\u00e7esi yazd\u0131k -neden b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey oldu diye. Herhangi bir a\u00e7\u0131klama yapamayacaklar\u0131n\u0131 bu bilgilerin \u00fcstten geldi\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler bizi ge\u00e7i\u015ftirdiler. Haliyle bizde de moral bozuklu\u011fu oldu. Ne oldu\u011funu anlayamad\u0131k bir erkek i\u00e7in \u00f6zellikle de bir polis i\u00e7in silah\u0131n\u0131 ve kimli\u011fini teslim etmek kadar zor bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemedik o ana kadar<\/span><\/p>\n

Aynisinin ayn\u0131 zamanda e\u015fimin arkada\u015flar\u0131na yap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da duyduk. E\u015fim bu arada ihra\u00e7 olmu\u015ftu, g\u00f6revinden at\u0131ld\u0131. Cocu\u011fun tedavisinde y\u00fckl\u00fc miktarda paraya ihtiya\u00e7 duyuyorduk. Ben normalde dogum iznindeydim \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmayacakt\u0131m bebe\u011fimi kendim buyutecektim rahats\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan dolay\u0131. Ama o ihra\u00e7 olduktan sonra tekrar \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma karar\u0131 ald\u0131m ve ben M ilinde \u00f6\u011fretmenli\u011fime devam etmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m<\/span><\/p>\n

E\u015fimin Anne babas\u0131 ile birlikte tekrar M iline d\u00f6nd\u00fck. E\u015fim gelmeyece\u011fini onlar\u0131n i\u015fini kolayla\u015ft\u0131rmayacagini beyan etti ve o Q ilinde kald\u0131. Biz g\u00fczel bir \u015fekilde hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 devam ettiriyorduk, bir lisede edebiyat \u00f6\u011fretmenli\u011fi yap\u0131yordum her \u015fey t\u0131k\u0131r\u0131nda gidiyordu. Ancak ben okuldaki \u00f6\u011fretmen arkada\u015flar\u0131ma da m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcme de e\u015fimin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ni hi\u00e7bir zaman belli etmedim. Ola ki s\u00fcre\u00e7ten dolay\u0131 tepkileri olur bana kar\u015f\u0131 yanl\u0131\u015f \u015feyler s\u00f6yleyebilirler k\u00f6t\u00fc \u015fey olmas\u0131n diye e\u015fim hep n\u00f6bette geldi yat\u0131yor diye hep bahaneler uydurdum. Ve en \u00f6nemlisi de 25 Nisan’da bir g\u00fcn okula sivil giyimli polisler geldi. M\u00fcd\u00fcr Bey beni odas\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131, bende Milli E\u011fitim’den gelen insanlar oldu\u011funu zannetmi\u015ftim -Ho\u015fgeldiniz dedim. M\u00fcd\u00fcr bey sonra onlar\u0131n emniyetten geldi\u011finde beni goturmeleri gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yledi. Haz\u0131rlan\u0131p hemen indim a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya zaten<\/span><\/p>\n

M\u00fcd\u00fcr bey arabaya kadar e\u015flik etti bana. Beni \u00f6nce hastaneye sa\u011fl\u0131k raporu almaya sonra emniyete g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler. Emniyette beklerken \u00f6nce \u015fube m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn odas\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler gayr\u0131 resmi bir \u015fekilde avukat olmadan on ifadem al\u0131nd\u0131 ancak ifadem al\u0131n\u0131rken \u015fahsi anlamda bana hi\u00e7 bir soru sorulmad\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn sorular e\u015fime y\u00f6nelikti onun arand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yakalama karar\u0131 oldu\u011funu bilerek gelip teslim olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131,neden b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131.. -Sen yerini biliyorsun! S\u00f6yledi\u011fim takdirde ak\u015fam buradan elimi kolumu sallayarak \u00e7\u0131kabilece\u011fimi, s\u00f6ylemezsem cezaevini boylayabilecagimi s\u00f6ylediler. Hatta bana yakalama karar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131klar\u0131 g\u00fcn e\u015fimin telefon sinyalini Q ilinden alm\u0131\u015flar tam yakalayacaklari s\u0131rada da sinyali kaybettiklerini onu bulamad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ayn\u0131 g\u00fcnde de bana yakalama karar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karttird\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben de bunun bir tesad\u00fcf olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ni onu ulasmak i\u00e7in bunu \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledim. Ama onlar zaten \u00e7oktan karar verdikleri i\u00e7in hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde etkili olamad\u0131m. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131mla tehdit ettiler \u201cKa\u00e7 tane \u00e7ocu\u011fun var\u201d dediler \u201cnerede kim bak\u0131yor\u201d diye sordular. Ben de \u201cevde babaanneleri bak\u0131yor\u201d dedim. \u201cKimse yoksa biz onlar\u0131 al\u0131r\u0131z devlet en iyi \u015fekilde onlara bakar\u201d dediler. \u00c7ocuklar \u00fczerine cok durdular zaten elimden alma konusunu \u00e7ok tehdit olarak kulland\u0131lar. Art\u0131k dayanamad\u0131m o \u015fube m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcne -Sizin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z yok herhalde bu kadar rahat konu\u015ftu\u011funuza g\u00f6re dedim. O zaman hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6yleyemedi sonra yine ayn\u0131 \u015feylere devam etti. \u0130\u015fte -\u00e7ocuklar zaten babas\u0131z kalm\u0131\u015f annesiz de kalacaklar Sen bunlar\u0131 gozunde d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebiliyor musun diye sordular.Ben de dayanamay\u0131p \u2018Allah ne nasip etmi\u015fse o olur\u2019 dedim b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7ocuklar anne babal\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fcyorlar e\u011fer nasiplerinde varsa benim \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m da \u00d6yle b\u00fcy\u00fcyecek\u201d\u00a0 dedim ve \u2018\u00e7\u0131kabilirsin\u2019 deyip beni g\u00f6nderdiler.<\/span><\/p>\n

(3)<\/b><\/p>\n

\u015eube M\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn odas\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra eksi 1. katta bulunan nezarethaneye indirdiler. Ancak polislerden bir tanesi \u0131srarla kendisinin indirebilece\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu, fakat bir tanesi itiraz ediyordu. O poliste \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc bak\u0131yordu o kadar \u00e7ok korkmu\u015ftum ki bir \u015feyler yapacaklar diye,o kadar Haber duymu\u015ftuk i\u015fkence, tecav\u00fcz, taciz olacak diye cok tedirgin oldu\u011fumdan dua ediyorum -Allah’\u0131m ne olur bu insan beni indirmesin diye. Cok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr o anda ba\u015fka bir polis memuru geldi de kendisinin indirece\u011fini s\u00f6yledi ve eksi birinci kata indik. Orada lavabolar d\u0131\u015far\u0131dayd\u0131 3 g\u00fcn boyunca orada kald\u0131m. O g\u00fcn ak\u015fam da cok rahats\u0131zland\u0131m zaten. Bana dediler ki oraya koyarken demir parmakl\u0131klar aras\u0131na \u2018kameraya el sallad\u0131\u011f\u0131n takdirde biz gelir seni \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131r\u0131z ihtiyac\u0131n oldu\u011fu zaman\u2019 ama yapmad\u0131lar.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ihtiyac\u0131m oldu\u011fu halde el sallad\u0131m demir parmakl\u0131klara vurdum duvarlara vurdum ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m hi\u00e7 duyan olmad\u0131. Hatta di\u011fer tarafta erkek tutuklular vard\u0131 onlar bile ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar -kad\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcyor neredesiniz diye. Cok hastalanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m migrenim tutmustu, lavaboya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p istifra etmem gerekiyordu, ama odan\u0131n i\u00e7erisinde onu bile yapam\u0131yordum. Birka\u00e7 saat sonras\u0131nda geldiler o zaman anlad\u0131m ki \u00f6len insanlari demek ki bu \u015fekilde \u00f6l\u00fcme terk ediyorlarm\u0131\u015f. Geldiler sonra beni lavaboya \u00e7\u0131kardilar ve tekrar i\u00e7eriye koydular.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ertesi g\u00fcn ikindi vaktiydi 4-5 gibi avukat e\u015fli\u011finde ifademi ald\u0131lar ayn\u0131 sorular\u0131 tekrardan sordular; e\u015fimle ne zaman g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc, en son ne zaman arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, nas\u0131l arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, nerede oldu\u011funu hep bu bilgileri sordular. O g\u00fcn de orada kald\u0131m nezarette. Ertesi g\u00fcn savciya \u00e7\u0131karmaya g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler savci da ayn\u0131 tehditleri kendisi de kulland\u0131 ama \u0131srarla anlatt\u0131m bilmedi\u011fimi ifade ettim. Q ilinde zaten emniyetin kendisi sinyal vermi\u015f oldu\u011funu bildi\u011fi halde niye yakalanmad\u0131gin\u0131 s\u00f6yledim. En son sadece bana o kadar \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc ki c\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131n bekledi\u011fini onlarda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc dedi -\u201dBen bu dosyaya tutuklama vermek zorunday\u0131m yoksa ben s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131ya gidece\u011fim ama sen bu durumunu hakime \u00e7ok net bir \u015fekilde ifade etmelisin\u201d dedi. Zira beni Hakime goturen polisler bile ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde -\u2019Bak iki tane \u00e7ocu\u011fun var durumunu anlat hakim seni\u00a0 b\u0131rakabilir\u2019 diye teselli ediyorlardi. Ancak bu karar \u00e7ok \u00f6nceden al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in e\u015fimin yerini s\u00f6ylersem b\u0131rakacaklard\u0131 s\u00f6ylemezsem tutuklayacaklari \u00e7ok belliydi<\/span><\/p>\n

Hakim de sorularini hep o yonde sordu zaten en son tutuklama karari veriyorum dedi ve ben o anda ba\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f\u0131m \u2018bunu haketmedim ben\u2019 diye. D\u0131\u015far\u0131da Kay\u0131nvalidem bekliyordu o sinir krizi ge\u00e7irmi\u015f. Sonra beni oradan \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131lar ceza evine g\u00f6t\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in. Cocuklar\u0131m\u0131n arkada kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.(a\u011fl\u0131yor) Ama onlar beni g\u00f6rmedi. \u00c7ok \u00f6z\u00fcr dilerim yeniden ya\u015f\u0131yorum da bunlar\u0131 anlat\u0131rken. Sonra kap\u0131da beklerken araban\u0131n gelmesini bekliyordum adliyenin bah\u00e7esinde \u00f6\u011fretmen arkada\u015flar\u0131m bana do\u011fru ko\u015ftu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm hepsi de a\u011fl\u0131yordu. Bir bakt\u0131m biri beni ay\u0131ltmak i\u00e7in limon kolonyas\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fcyordu, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 merak etmemem gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler ve beni teselli ettiler.\u00a0 Zaten \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fc durumday\u0131m<\/span><\/p>\n

Beni ceza evine g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler. \u00c7ocuklar babaanneleri ile kaldilar geride. \u00d6\u011fretmen arkada\u015flarim onlar\u0131 teselli etmisler evlerine g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fler, yemek yedirmi\u015fler \u00e7ok sahip \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015flard\u0131 ben 7 ay boyunca kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u00fcrede. Cezaevine\u00a0 giderken de kimlerle kalaca\u011f\u0131m diye \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck tedirginlik i\u00e7erisindeydim. Acaba nas\u0131l bir muamele g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcm yani polis e\u015fiydim ama gardiyanlar\u0131n bile bayan oldu\u011funu bilmiyordum. Bayan gardiyan oldugunu g\u00f6r\u00fcnce de sevinmi\u015ftim. Ger\u00e7ekten orada ilk\u00a0 sey cezaevinde o olmu\u015ftu. Sonra detayl\u0131 Bir \u00fcst aramas\u0131 yapt\u0131lar yani b\u00fct\u00fcn her yerinize bakarcas\u0131na bir arama yapt\u0131lar, cok onur k\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 zedeleyici idi ama buna da \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr deyip, sonra kogusa g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcler. Orada benim gibi insanlar\u0131n oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcnce biraz daha rahatlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m<\/span><\/p>\n

Nezarethaneden sonra b\u00f6yle kap\u0131n\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131lan bir bah\u00e7esi oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcnce o zaman da cok rahatlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Ilk girdi\u011fimde hemen \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum ama bu s\u00fcre bile 7 ay\u0131 buldu. Demek ki hesaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z gibi hi\u00e7bir \u015fey olmuyormu\u015f dedik. Sonra cezaevinde yemeklerimiz \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fcyd\u00fc hepsi karavana denilen b\u00fcy\u00fck tencere i\u00e7erisinde getiriliyordu. Hatta yemekler iyi oldu\u011fu zaman di\u011fer kogusardan yemek da\u011f\u0131tan ki\u015fi \u00fczerinden parmakla aliyordu ve biz bunu fark ediyorduk, yiyemiyorduk bile. Sadece Ramazan’da iyi yemekler \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131, \u00e7ok az \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015flard\u0131.\u00a0 B\u00f6yle hepimiz g\u0131d\u0131m g\u0131d\u0131m yiyorduk birbirimizin hakk\u0131na girmeyelim diye. Getirdikleri yemeklerin i\u00e7ine ku\u015flar\u0131n pisliklerini g\u00f6r\u00fcyorduk bu \u015fekilde yemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorduk<\/span><\/p>\n

Cezaevinde sabah ak\u015fam say\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131. Sabah sekizde ak\u015fam be\u015fte tek tek kelle sayar gibi bizi say\u0131yorlard\u0131. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerimiz vard\u0131, di\u011fer mahkumlara verilen g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerle bizlere verilen ayn\u0131 de\u011fildi.Iki ayda bir a\u00e7\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fcs,15 g\u00fcnde bir veya haftada bir kapal\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f veriyorlard\u0131, 15 g\u00fcnde bir de telefon g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmesi veriyorlard\u0131. Ar\u0131za falan \u00e7\u0131karsa o hafta da g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f hakk\u0131m\u0131z gitmi\u015f oluyordu. Her g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fe giderken telefon olsun, a\u00e7\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f olsun kapal\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f olsun detayl\u0131 bir aramadan ge\u00e7iyorduk, hakeza yine g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f sonras\u0131nda ko\u011fu\u015fa d\u00f6nerken yine \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcz taciz edilir boyutta arama yap\u0131l\u0131yordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ko\u011fu\u015fa gor\u00fc\u015fler sonras\u0131nda hepimiz a\u011flayarak d\u00f6n\u00fcyorduk zaten; kimi gen\u00e7 k\u0131z, kimi yeni evli, kiminin bebe\u011fi var, en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bebe\u011fi olan da bendim zaten, K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm 1 ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131 daha emiyordu zaten -yan\u0131na alabilirsin dediler en ba\u015fta girdi\u011fimde ama cezaevi ortam\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fckten sonra bunun m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ocu\u011fumun aya\u011f\u0131nda atel denilen demir bir ayakkab\u0131 vard\u0131 \u00f6yle emeklemesi betonda y\u00fcr\u00fcmesi zaten m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildi ki bebeklere y\u00f6nelik de zaten ayr\u0131 bir \u00f6\u011f\u00fcn vermiyorlard\u0131. Yani hem yemek yemesi a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan hem de hijyen bak\u0131m\u0131ndan hi\u00e7 ama hi\u00e7 uygun bir ortam de\u011fildi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Olduk\u00e7a rutubetliydi. Ak\u015famlar\u0131 \u00f6zellikle de ya\u011fmur ya\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn kogusu farelerin bastigini g\u00f6r\u00fcyorduk, yakalamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorduk kapanlar koymu\u015ftuk her yere ona izin vermi\u015flerdi. Her g\u00fcn iki \u00fc\u00e7 tane iki \u00fc\u00e7 tane al\u0131p al\u0131p at\u0131yorduk cope.<\/span><\/p>\n

(4)<\/b><\/p>\n

Normalde di\u011fer ko\u011fu\u015flara g\u00f6revlendirilmi\u015f bayanlar gelip her g\u00fcn temizli\u011fini yap\u0131yorlardi ama bize b\u00f6yle bir \u015feye izin vermediler. Biz her i\u015fimizi kendimiz yap\u0131yorduk.\u00a0 Dedi\u011fim gibi g\u00f6ruslerden sonra ko\u011fu\u015fa d\u00f6nerken hepimiz \u00fczg\u00fcn bir \u015fekilde a\u011flar vaziyette d\u00f6n\u00fcyorduk. Hatta bir an\u0131m\u0131 anlatmak istiyorum. Orada da bir g\u00fcn b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flum tam benimle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fece\u011fi zamanda d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc ve ben ona uzan\u0131p elini bile tutamad\u0131m ko\u011fu\u015fa d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde de di\u011fer arkada\u015flar da beni teselli ediyorlar – bir \u015fey olmad\u0131 ailelerimiz tuttu kuca\u011f\u0131na ald\u0131 bakt\u0131 diye ben de as\u0131l zoruma gidenin \u00e7ocu\u011fumun d\u00fc\u015fmesi de\u011fil de o kadar yak\u0131n mesafede ELIMI UZATIP TUTAMAYISIM oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledim. Benim \u00e7ocuklar k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in arkada\u015flar hep beni teselli eder durumdalardi. Hatta gardiyanlar\u0131n bile \u00e7o\u011fu kez a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u015fahit olmu\u015ftum bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnde. O kadar g\u00fczel insanl\u0131klar karde\u015flikler ya\u015fad\u0131k ki orada ayn\u0131 zamanda. Ba\u015fka bir ko\u011fu\u015fta olan bir arkada\u015f\u0131n e\u015fine \u201cbu bebe\u011fin annesi \u00e7\u0131ks\u0131n yeter ki ben \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00f6rt ay daha fazla yatar\u0131m\u201d dedi\u011fini duydum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tabii kimse kimsenin yerine yatm\u0131yor. Ko\u011fu\u015fta bizde bir aileydik d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fe gelen aileler de kendi aras\u0131nda bir karde\u015f bir aile oluvermi\u015flerdi. G\u00fcnlerimiz hep dua ile Kur’an okumakla ge\u00e7iyordu. Ben de biraz h\u0131zl\u0131 okudu\u011fum i\u00e7in g\u00fcnl\u00fck 300 sayfa kadar okuyabiliyordum 3-4 g\u00fcne veya bir hafta s\u00fcresince hatimler yap\u0131yorduk.<\/span><\/p>\n

Di\u011fer arkadaslar da ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde g\u00fcnd\u00fczler dua ile namazla ge\u00e7iyordu geceleri teheccutle \u0131\u015f\u0131kland\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorduk. Ama bu arada \u00e7ay fasl\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 hi\u00e7bir zaman ihmal etmedik her g\u00fcn \u00e7ay fasl\u0131 yap\u0131yorduk. Cezaevinde \u00e7ocuklar\u0131mdan \u00f6nce ozledigim kisi OGRENCILERIM oldu(Agliyor).<\/span><\/p>\n

O kadar ozluyordum ki ruyamda cocuklardan once onlari gormustum. Onlarda benim tutuklandigimi ogrenince sok olmuslar zaten. O kadar \u00e7ok uzulmusler o kadar a\u011flam\u0131\u015flar ki.. S\u00f6yle ben tutuklanmadan bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce okulda y\u00fcr\u00fcyerek ge\u00e7ilen yerde a\u011fa\u00e7 dikiyorduk. Her\u00a0 \u00f6\u011fretmen kendisine bir a\u011fa\u00e7 al\u0131p o\u011frencileri ile beraber dikiyordu. Biz de g\u00f6zalt\u0131na al\u0131nmadan bir g\u00fcn \u00f6nce \u00f6\u011frencilerim ba\u015fka bir s\u0131n\u0131ftayken gelip beni ald\u0131lar bu \u00f6\u011frencilerin i\u00e7inde M\u00fcd\u00fcr Bey’in k\u0131z\u0131 da vard\u0131 o kadar seviyordum o kadar seviyordum ki ve dediler ki -hocam siz olmadan biz o agaci kesinlikle dikmeyiz.\u00a0 M\u00fcd\u00fcr Bey gelmi\u015f M\u00fcd\u00fcr Yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131 gelmi\u015f ama biz sizi istiyoruz dediler. Beni s\u0131n\u0131ftan zorla \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131lar ve a\u011fa\u00e7 dikmeye gittik.<\/span><\/p>\n

En ba\u015fta bizim agac\u0131m\u0131z vardi. Sonra di\u011fer s\u0131n\u0131flarda bizden sonra a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131 dikmi\u015fler. C\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6\u011frencilerim yan\u0131ma geldi zaten. A\u011fac\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n nas\u0131l oldu\u011funu sordum. Dediler ki -hocam dikilen butun agaclar tuttu ancak sizin agaciniz bizim agacimiz soldu, kurudu dediler. Bir g\u00fcn ceza evinde otururken gardiyan\u0131m birisi geldi Dedi ki \u2026\u2026…han\u0131m siz misiniz -Evet benim dedim. -… isminde bir \u00f6\u011frencimiz var dedi -evet dedim. O s\u0131rada ismini duyunca ben a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m, o \u00f6\u011frencim de ayn\u0131 zamanda M\u00fcd\u00fcr Bey’in k\u0131z\u0131ydi.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sizi o kadar \u00e7ok seviyorlar o kadar \u00e7ok ozl\u00fcyorlar ki dedi hepsi a\u011fl\u0131yor size kocaman bir pankart haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015flar \u201cHocam Sizi seviyoruz Biz hep yan\u0131n\u0131zday\u0131z\u201d diye yazm\u0131\u015flar cok b\u00fcy\u00fck bir pankart haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015flar Onu size g\u00f6t\u00fcrmemi s\u00f6ylediler dedi. Ben -\u2019teyzeci\u011fim olmaz bize yasak onlarla konu\u015fmam\u0131z diye geri \u00e7evirdim\u2019 dedi bilginiz olsun dedi. Ben zaten o anda hi\u00e7 tutamad\u0131m kendimi -sak\u0131n bir daha b\u00f6yle yapmay\u0131n yoksa size anlatmam onlarla ilgili bir \u015fey dedi. Her zaman dualar\u0131n\u0131 hissettim \u00f6\u011frencilerimin, hep g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131ni y\u00fcre\u011fime ak\u0131tt\u0131klar\u0131ni hissettim onlar\u0131n.\u00a0 Tahliye oldu\u011fumda \u00f6\u011fretmen arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n hepsi geldi hatta yeni atanm\u0131\u015f olan beni tan\u0131mayan \u00f6\u011fretmenler bile geldi -hocam biz sizi duyduk \u00c7ok ge\u00e7mi\u015f olsun demek i\u00e7in geldik diye hepsi evimize gelmi\u015fti. O\u011frencilerim de kocaman bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek yapt\u0131rm\u0131\u015flar \u00e7ikolata alm\u0131\u015flar b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0131n\u0131f birlik olan k\u0131z erkek hepsi geldi kap\u0131dan girdi\u011fimde hepsi o kadar a\u011fl\u0131yordu o kadar a\u011fl\u0131yordu ki -hocam biz sizi \u00e7ok \u00f6zledik nerelerdesiniz diye.<\/span><\/p>\n

Okula \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar beni tahliye olduktan sonra ama ben o \u015feyi k\u0131r\u0131p bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc onlarin yanina\u00a0 gidemedim. En fazla \u00f6zledigim \u015fey de T\u00fcrkiye’de \u00f6\u011frencilerim. \u0130n\u015fallah g\u00fczel bir yerleri kazanm\u0131\u015flard\u0131r diye umut ediyorum onlar i\u00e7in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mahkeme g\u00fcn\u00fcnden bahsetmek istiyorum birazda, mahkeme g\u00fcn\u00fc herkes gibi bende gece boyunca hi\u00e7 uyuyamad\u0131m zaten mide bulant\u0131s\u0131 stres ne olacak nas\u0131l sonu\u00e7lanacak, acaba evimde mi alaca\u011f\u0131m, yoksa tekrar yine buraya m\u0131 d\u00f6nece\u011fim korkusu tela\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

Ailemi orada b\u0131rak\u0131p tekrar geriye d\u00f6nmek kadar ac\u0131 bir \u015fey olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm o an. \u00d6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck gibisi yok dedim. Sonra mahkemeye giderken gardiyan beni kap\u0131ya kadar getiriyor gardiyan\u0131n kendi a\u011fz\u0131yla bir \u015feyler okudu\u011funu fark ettim ama o heyecandan sormak istemedim. Sonra mahkememiz oldu mahkemede hakimin ilk sordu\u011fu \u015fey bana -\u2019E\u015fin nerede niye teslim olmad\u0131\u2019 diye sordu. Ben de e\u015fimin ya\u015f olarak da k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7ocuk olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kararlar\u0131n\u0131 kendisinin verebildi\u011fini ve benim ondan sorumlu tutulmamam gerekti\u011fini ifade ettim. Avukat da ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri s\u00f6yledi m\u00fcvekkilimin 7 ay boyunca rehin tutuldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcyoruz,hi\u00e7bir delil,hi\u00e7bir sendika, banka hicbirsey olmamas\u0131na ra\u011fmen rehin olarak al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131,e\u015fiyle kendisinin takas olarak yap\u0131laca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 belirtti. En ba\u015fta g\u00f6zalt\u0131na al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131mda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fc emzirmek i\u00e7in savc\u0131l\u0131ktan izin alip gelmi\u015flerdi yan\u0131ma kay\u0131nvalidem ve kay\u0131npederim. Savci izin verirkende -\u2019Gelininize s\u00f6yleyin e\u015finin yerini s\u00f6ylerse buradan \u00e7\u0131kar yoksa nezareti boylar cezaevini boylar\u2019 diye onlarada defalarca s\u00f6ylemis. Ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri bana tekrardan mahkemede sordular. Biz de t\u00fcm delilleri ile her \u015feyi s\u00f6yledik, tahliye karar verdikten sonra da hakim \u201cE\u015finin sana g\u00f6stermedi\u011fi merhameti devlet g\u00f6sterdi umar\u0131m k\u0131ymetini bilirsin diye noktalad\u0131\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(5)<\/b><\/p>\n

Tekrardan d\u00f6nd\u00fck sonra cezaevine geldi\u011fimde kogu\u015fa goturmeleri i\u00e7in gardiyani \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar gardiyan beni kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131 \u2018ne oldu\u2019 dedi, \u2018abla tahliye\u2019 dedim. Sonra \u00fcst aramas\u0131nda yap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 yere ald\u0131 beni o kadar sarildi o kadar sarildi ki bana dedi ki \u2018burada en \u00e7ok senin \u00e7\u0131kmani istiyordum senin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ve ben dayanam\u0131yordum art\u0131k\u2019 dedi, – \u2018Seninle g\u00f6nderirken \u00fczerine farkl\u0131 farkl\u0131 dualar\u0131 okuyup g\u00f6nderdim \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fc suyu h\u00fcrmetine in\u015fallah da tahliye olur diye temennilerde bulundum\u2019 dedi. \u00c7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr dualarla \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra \u015fartl\u0131 tahliye ile b\u0131rakt\u0131lar beni her hafta karakola gidip imza veriyordum. 2 ay kadar g\u00f6revime d\u00f6nmeyi bekledim ancak g\u00f6revime donmeyi yapmad\u0131lar. Hatta bu s\u00fcrenin 1 y\u0131l veya 2 y\u0131l bile olabilece\u011fini m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 valilerin bu damgadan korktuklar\u0131 i\u00e7in bu ki\u015filerin g\u00f6revine d\u00f6nd\u00fcrulmelerini sak\u0131ncal\u0131 bulduklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Milli e\u011fitimdeki\u00a0 gorevli bayan bunu \u00e7ok net ifade etmi\u015fti bana ve biz de bo\u015f yere kira veriyorduk bende \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in masraflar\u0131m\u0131z olduk\u00e7a artmisti. Cocu\u011fumun tedavisi yar\u0131m kald\u0131. Ben cezaevindeyken hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde g\u00f6t\u00fcrmediler Q iline. Normalde her ay Q iline gidip muayene yapt\u0131riyorduk ama ben cezaevine girince \u00f6yle bir \u015fey m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmad\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonra biz de Q iline d\u00f6nme karar\u0131 ald\u0131k kay\u0131nvalidemin kendi evi vard\u0131 onlarla beraber oturmak karar\u0131 ald\u0131k, ilerleyen zamanlarda imzay\u0131 da Q ilinde atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Ancak gidi\u015fat\u0131n cok da iyi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 beni b\u0131rakmalar\u0131n\u0131n sebebinin e\u015fime tekrardan ula\u015fabilmek oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131k. \u00d6yle olunca da ozg\u00fcr olmadan ya\u015fayabilmek her kap\u0131 sesinde yine mi polis geldi acaba, kim i\u00e7in geldi acaba, yine mi alacaklar! korkusuyla ya\u015famak bizi art\u0131k iyice bunaltm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ve T\u00fcrkiye’den \u00e7\u0131kma karar\u0131 ald\u0131k. T\u00fcrkiye’den 1 Nisan g\u00fcn\u00fcnde ayr\u0131ld\u0131k.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u015eu an ozg\u00fcr\u00fcz, birlikteyiz k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck o\u011flum do\u011fumdan itibaren baba ile birlikte olmay\u0131,anne baban\u0131n bir arada oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rmeyi, T\u00fcrkiye’den \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra fark etti aile oldu\u011fumuzu. B\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flum korkular\u0131n\u0131 yeni yeni atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Hatta ge\u00e7enlerde bir yere misafirli\u011fe giderken valiz haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131k -nereye gidiyoruz diye sordu b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flum. Babas\u0131 da -T\u00fcrkiye’ye d\u00f6n\u00fcyoruz deyince a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131, \u2018ben oralara gitmek istemiyorum, ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri yeniden ya\u015famak istemiyorum\u2019 diye. C\u00fcnk\u00fc o her \u015feyin fark\u0131ndayd\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flere geldi\u011finde de telefonla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrken -\u201dAnne elimin k\u0131r\u0131lmayacagini bilsem cam\u0131 k\u0131rmak istiyorum, sana dokunmak istiyorum\u201d diye her g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnde yavrum a\u011flayarak s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu bunu. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bilmemesine ra\u011fmen 1 ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131 cam\u0131n ard\u0131ndan benim sesimi dinliyordu, telefonu kimselere vermiyordu b\u00f6yle zor g\u00fcnler atlatt\u0131k ama bu g\u00fcnler daha g\u00fczel g\u00fcnler olsun dile\u011findeyiz.<\/span><\/p>\n

Allah geride kalanlara yard\u0131m eylesin. Onlar\u0131n da bir an \u00f6nce kurtulmalar\u0131ni\u00a0 nasip eylesin diyoruz.<\/span><\/p>\n

(6)<\/b><\/p>\n

Biz 4 karde\u015fiz en b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz abim 5 y\u0131l \u00f6ncesinde trafik kazas\u0131nda vefat etti geriye 3 k\u0131z kald\u0131k. Ablam\u0131n e\u015fi de i\u00e7eride ayn\u0131 \u015feylerden dolay\u0131 ayn\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 o da ya\u015famakta. Benim annem babam da a\u00e7\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015ften a\u00e7\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fe gelebildiler. Ablam\u0131n 3 \u00e7ocu\u011fu var onu b\u0131rakamad\u0131lar abimden kalan 3 \u00e7ocuk var onu b\u0131rakamad\u0131lar sadece a\u00e7\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fte g\u00f6rebiliyorlard\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc K ili ile M ili aras\u0131 15 saat s\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Cok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr kucak a\u00e7t\u0131lar hepsi, hi\u00e7 birisi bizi kendisinden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmadi her zaman yan\u0131m\u0131zda olduklar\u0131n\u0131 ve do\u011fru \u015feyler yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131miz\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Nitekim \u00e7\u0131karken de bir ara s\u00f6ylemek gafletinde bulunduk. O zaman \u00e7ok tepki g\u00f6sterdiler oda \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f g\u00fcvenli\u011fimizin olmay\u0131\u015f\u0131ndandi. Biz T\u00fcrkiye’yi Meric \u00fczerinden ge\u00e7tik.<\/span><\/p>\n

Illegal yolla T\u00fcrkiye’den \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k c\u00fcnk\u00fc legal olabilmeniz m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildi e\u015fimin zaten aramasi vard\u0131. Bende yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131 yasa\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131 mahkemeye gitmedi\u011fim i\u00e7in yakalama karar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015flardi hakk\u0131mda. Imzada at\u0131yordum imzaya gitmedi\u011fim i\u00e7in muhakkak ka\u00e7ak yollar\u0131 kullanmam\u0131z gerekiyordu. Benim ailem e\u015fimin ailesi en ba\u015fta \u00e7ok tepki g\u00f6sterdiler \u2018oradan gidemezsiniz \u00e7ocuklara botlarla geciremezsiniz, o \u00e7ocuklar nas\u0131l olacak, biz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 Meric\u2019ten mi toplayaca\u011f\u0131z\u2019 diye feryat ettiler.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ancak en son \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z zaman pazar g\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k. C\u0131kmadan birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00f6ncesinden benim kendi ailemden para almam gerekiyordu. Sabah annemi arad\u0131m Dedim ki – \u201cAnne terminale kadar gelebilir misin\u201d, -\u201dTamam yavrum gelece\u011fim\u201d dedi ve hi\u00e7bir tepki g\u00f6stermedi. Annem o g\u00fcn r\u00fcyas\u0131nda farkl\u0131 \u015feyler g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f benim o\u011flumu farkl\u0131 insanlar\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f kendi g\u00f6z\u00fcnde bir rahats\u0131zl\u0131k oldu\u011funu o insanlar\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcnde ova ova o yaran\u0131n ge\u00e7ti\u011fini en sonunda da bunlar ter\u00f6rist de\u011filmi\u015f, bunlar iyi insanlarm\u0131\u015f dedi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yani en ufak oradan ge\u00e7i\u015fte bile bu kadar yard\u0131m eden Allah’\u0131n bizi yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek biz de Meri\u00e7’ten ge\u00e7me karar\u0131 ald\u0131k. E\u015fimle \u0130 ilinde bulu\u015ftuk E iline kadar vas\u0131ta ile gittik. Orada ayarlanm\u0131\u015f olan ba\u015fka biri aile ile 11 ki\u015fi olarak bota bindik. 15 dakika kadar suyun \u00fczerine kald\u0131ktan sonra kar\u015f\u0131ya ge\u00e7tik. Sonras\u0131nda y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fck Jandarma gelip bizi buldu nas\u0131l ge\u00e7ti\u011fimizi kimler vas\u0131tas\u0131yla ge\u00e7ti\u011fimizi sordu. Bizde onlari bilgilendirecek kadar bilgi verdikten sonra burada beklememiz gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler. Sonra polis gelip bizi bulundu\u011fumuz yerden ald\u0131 ve nezarethaneye g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. O gece nezarethanede kald\u0131k<\/span><\/p>\n

Ertesi g\u00fcn i\u015flemler yap\u0131ld\u0131ktan sonra 50-60 kadar ki\u015finin kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 ba\u015fka biri nezarethaneye g\u00f6nderdiler. Tuvalet banyo hepsi ortak sigaran\u0131n serbest oldu\u011fu kad\u0131n erke\u011fin birlikte kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir yerdi, olduk\u00e7a pisti ve 1 g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda da oradan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k. Yakla\u015f\u0131k iki bu\u00e7uk ay kadar Yunanistan’da kald\u0131k. Yunanistan da baska ulkeye gecme denemeleri yapt\u0131k. Ancak pasaportumuzun vizesi doldu\u011fu i\u00e7in her defas\u0131nda havaalan\u0131ndan tekrar tekrar cevriliyorduk. En sonunda da turistlerin artt\u0131\u011f\u0131 mevsimde dikkat ederek ba\u015fka bir \u00fclkeye ge\u00e7mi\u015f bulunduk. Bu kadar.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
Copyrighted to Undaunted Voices of Turkey<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Being a teacher who devoted herself to education, her students were the only ones she missed even more than her own children when she was incarcerated. Leaving all her loved ones behind, she had to spend 7 months in prison where she was kept as a substitute for her police officer husband. This is the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6241,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[15,23,14],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6241"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=332"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":344,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions\/344"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/storiesofwomen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}