{"id":2889,"date":"2024-12-07T07:27:40","date_gmt":"2024-12-07T12:27:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/?p=2889"},"modified":"2024-12-07T07:27:40","modified_gmt":"2024-12-07T12:27:40","slug":"understanding-the-relationship-between-childhood-trauma-and-codependency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/2024\/12\/07\/understanding-the-relationship-between-childhood-trauma-and-codependency\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding the Relationship between Childhood Trauma and Codependency\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

As humans, our early experiences have a huge impact on who we become, especially if they include traumas like abuse, neglect, or unreliable caregiving. These types of childhood trauma can cause emotional damage that persists throughout an individual’s life, many of which affect how we handle relationships as adults. Codependency, a tendency where people put others’ needs above their own, is a common symptom of trauma. In his book <\/span>The Body Keeps the Score<\/span><\/i>, trauma specialist Dr. Bessel van der Kolk analyzes the ways that trauma impacts the body and brain. His research provides an understanding of why codependency in relationships is a common problem for those who have unresolved childhood trauma (van der Kolk, 2014).<\/span><\/p>\n

Codependency is defined as an unhealthy reliance on relationships to satisfy emotional needs (van der Kolk, 2014). Codependent people often repress their own needs, go above and beyond for others, and feel that their value is based on their capacity to “fix” or care for others. Even though this behavior may appear empathetic, it frequently compromises the codependent individual’s well-being. According to van der Kolk’s explanation, trauma limits self-awareness and emotional control, making it challenging for survivors to establish a positive sense of self. Codependent tendencies may develop as a result of these traumatic disturbances. Common signs of codependency include the inability to establish and enforce boundaries, low self-esteem, dependency, and close monitoring of the wants of others, as well as a fear of abandonment (van der Kolk, 2014).<\/span><\/p>\n

Our early relationships can be significantly impacted by childhood trauma, which often results in codependency. Trauma physically changes the brain, especially the prefrontal cortex, which aids in self-control and decision-making, and the amygdala, which regulates our fear reactions (van der Kolk, 2014). People who experience these changes are often constantly on edge, anticipating danger, and often develop an excessive need to control other people’s emotions to prevent rejection or conflict. Additionally, trauma interferes with children’s ability to form stable relationships. Children who experience inconsistent care or neglect may grow up to question their own value and learn to put the needs of others before their own. As a result of the fear of being abandoned, this can cause them to depend on toxic, or even dangerous relationships as adults, often refusing or feeling incapable of leaving (Bowlby, 1988). Another common reaction to trauma is people-pleasing, or “fawning.” This behavior can develop as a way of avoiding potential dangers, frequently crossing the individuals personal boundaries, in order to keep relationships free of conflict (van der Kolk, 2014).<\/span><\/p>\n

Trauma affects not only the brain, but stores itself in the body and nervous system, often leading to negative physical impacts (van der Kolk, 2014). In order to treat these symptoms, research suggests that mindfulness techniques such as yoga, meditation, and somatic therapies (including neurofeedback and EMDR), can help process these emotions in a safe space while restoring the connection between the mind and body (van der Kolk, 2014). Learning to set boundaries, particularly how to say “no” without feeling guilty, is another important part of recovery and is important for overcoming codependency. In order to respect one’s own needs and create healthy relationships, therapy can be a very useful tool (Whitfield, 1987). Lastly, reestablishing a sense of self is important because trauma can cause people to feel isolated or worthless. Journaling, painting, or dancing are examples of creative practices that can help people rediscover who they are and regain their sense of autonomy (van der Kolk, 2014).<\/span><\/p>\n

Without treatment, trauma can build up, and become evident by unregulated emotions, intrusive thoughts, and intense relationships. According to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, trauma can alter our brains’ physical structure and impact emotional stability, which makes it more difficult to build healthy, satisfying relationships. However, it is important to note that recovery is possible! Survivors can overcome codependent tendencies and establish relationships based on respect and independence by addressing the underlying causes of trauma and learning how to better care for themselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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References\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Bowlby, J. (1988). <\/span>A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development<\/span><\/i>. Basic Books.<\/span><\/p>\n

Van der Kolk, B. (2014). <\/span>The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma<\/span><\/i>. Viking.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whitfield, C. L. (1987). <\/span>Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families<\/span><\/i>. Health Communications.<\/span><\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As humans, our early experiences have a huge impact on who we become, especially if they include traumas like abuse, neglect, or unreliable caregiving. These types of childhood trauma can cause emotional damage that persists throughout an individual’s life, many of which affect how we handle relationships as adults. Codependency, a tendency where people put […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24391,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2889"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24391"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2889"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2895,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2889\/revisions\/2895"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}