{"id":1241,"date":"2020-04-23T13:29:27","date_gmt":"2020-04-23T17:29:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/?p=1241"},"modified":"2020-06-17T09:46:19","modified_gmt":"2020-06-17T13:46:19","slug":"a-further-examination-sue-klebolds-case-study-of-her-son-dylan-klebold","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/2020\/04\/23\/a-further-examination-sue-klebolds-case-study-of-her-son-dylan-klebold\/","title":{"rendered":"A Further Examination: Sue Klebold\u2019s case study of her son, Dylan Klebold"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few weeks ago, I reviewed Sue Klebold\u2019s memoir A Mother\u2019s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy<\/em>, about her experience as the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the Columbine High School shooters. While I was able to share the manner by which she communicated her ideas and insights, I wasn\u2019t able to actually share those insights and ideas. Her recounting of the details of Dylan\u2019s life, combined with what we learned about school shooters in general, paints a picture of how this particular child ended up committing one of the most infamous massacres in American history.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to start by reviewing what Bartol & Bartol (2017) have to say about school shooters (and shootings) as a group, though they also state there is no single school shooter profile. In general<\/em>: School shootings happen most at high schools, with a student at the school acting alone as the shooter. The perpetrator often has faced peer or social rejection, endured bullying, has anger about the bullying, and lacks the social or coping skills to deal with these issues. They may show cruelty to animals, or alternatively a high degree of affection or attachment to animals. They often have an interest in guns and weapons, with easy access to firearms, and have often repeatedly made clear their violent intentions to others (usually peers). Attacks seem planned in advance, with the shooter expecting to be killed or planning to commit suicide in conjunction with the attack. (p. 311-312) Synthesizing the many factors, it\u2019s argued that most school shooters have a history of social rejection, along with either psychological problems, an interest in weapons, and\/or a fascination with death (p. 314). School shooters often show little attachment to their school. There are also certain traits that lead to a school itself being more or less at risk for a shooting event: an inflexible culture, inequitable discipline, tolerance for disrespectful behavior, and a code of silence (p. 315). With these many, many factors in mind, I turn to A Mother\u2019s Reckoning<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Sue (as both she and her son share the same surname, I\u2019m going to refer to them by their first names for the sake of clarity) begins by emphasizing that she and her husband, Tom, truly had no idea what Dylan was planning. From many angles, Dylan was the average kid any parent would want. He was kind, gentle, smart, and happy. He \u201cwas easy to raise, a pleasure to be with, a child who had always made us proud\u201d (Klebold, 2016, p. 61). He was fiercely independent, insisting his mother teach him how to bathe himself at the age of 5 or 6, and how to do his own laundry at age 10. His negative traits weren\u2019t out of the ordinary either, really: he was very sensitive to embarrassment, which sometimes led to anger; and he was perhaps a little too independent, where he wouldn\u2019t ask for help even if he needed it – like when he had to take a break from baseball after pains he never mentioned became so bad they caused his arm real damage. He felt a need to be in control.<\/p>\n

His parents raised their two boys as many others did, following \u201cthat close-knit, suburban family model\u201d (p. 62). Sue acknowledges that before Columbine, she would have reacted to news of some horrific act by wondering what that person\u2019s parents must have been like to allow someone to turn out like that. But she came to realize the truth was far more troubling. Dylan\u2019s parents were \u201chands-on parents who limited the intake of television and sugary cereals. We monitored what movies our boys could see, and put them to bed with stories and prayers and hugs\u201d (p. 61). They made sure to know who their kids were spending time with, and made sure they knew and felt that they were loved. In a video-diary-style recording, Dylan stated his parents had been good to him. Yet, despite a happy upbringing, Dylan still did what he did.<\/p>\n

As Dylan entered adolescence, he became a bit more complicated. He still was the boy his parents joked seemed to be \u201con autopilot\u201d (p. 65), but Sue notes that this may have been particularly dangerous in his case. For happy, easy-to-raise, and successful kids like him, it was easy \u201cto fly under their parents\u2019 radar precisely because they were the shiny pennies, hiding the terrible pain they were in from their parents as capably as they did everything else\u201d (p. 65). I must say, that rings true to me – I\u2019d personally say it was because I was so self-sufficient and trustworthy as a child that my parents had no idea when I was going through (relative) difficulty in adolescence.<\/p>\n

As a teen, Dylan\u2019s aversion to embarrassment became more severe, his self-consciousness more pointed. His grades fell to average. Even still, he seemed happy and had a handful of close friends. Sue would later find out through his journals though that by sophomore year he was battling depression and suicidal thoughts. He had friends, but felt as if he were a burden; he wanted love, but the girl he was interested in didn\u2019t know he existed. Though posthumous diagnosis isn\u2019t possible, \u201cthat Dylan was seriously depressed is not up for debate\u201d (p. 160), and his behaviors might have also fit the criteria for other diagnoses such as avoidant personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, and\/or borderline personality disorder. While in class we have made abundantly clear that most people with mental health issues are non-violent, Dylan\u2019s depression and suicidality fits the school shooter pattern.<\/p>\n

His parents didn\u2019t understand the full extent of it, but high school wasn\u2019t turning out to be a kind place for him. He started getting in trouble, and complained of how certain groups of kids were ruthless bullies, yet the school did nothing to stop them. One particular incident was uncovered where Dylan and Eric (the other shooter) were surrounded by a group, pushed around, called slurs, and had ketchup sprayed on them. Teachers did nothing. Sue suggests that for someone as sensitive to humiliation and loss of control as Dylan, these types of events may have made a big influence on him, and created a bond between the boys. Not only had Dylan experienced bullying in school, his school fit some of the factors that meant it was most at risk for a shooting by ignoring certain behaviors and otherwise unevenly enforcing the rules. Sue received a number of letters from people who\u2019d gone to Columbine who were more surprised that a shooting hadn\u2019t happened sooner<\/em> than that one had happened at all.<\/p>\n

By his junior and senior years, Dylan\u2019s parents knew something was wrong. Dylan was behaving differently, getting in more trouble, not always acting like himself. He became more paranoid, forcing them all to flee a McDonald\u2019s because he believed a group of teens on the other side of the store were laughing at him. (They weren\u2019t.) But Sue and her husband didn\u2019t know what the signs they were seeing meant. Sue \u201chad no idea it was a life-and-death situation. I was just worried Dylan was unhappy\u201d (p. 227). Indeed, up until he died, he had been going to school, working a part-time job, hanging out with his friends, planning for college – all behaviors of a normal teenager. Just three days before the shooting, he went to prom with a friend. Talking about the home video they took of that day, \u201cIt\u2019s absolutely stunning how normal Dylan seems\u201d (p. 235). These things outweighed their concerns about him. They\u2019d never seen his rage, nor ever felt scared of him.<\/p>\n

Looking back on the textbook\u2019s suggested traits of school shooters, we\u2019ve already seen above how Dylan does actually map onto many of them. Sue provides details that help us address some of the other considerations as well. Guns and weapons? Sue and her husband were vehemently opposed, but Dylan still asked for a gun for Christmas his final year. (They said no.) Making intentions known ahead of time? Dylan wrote an essay about a school shooting that disturbed his teacher enough that it was referred to the school counselor. It wasn\u2019t deemed something that needed further attention. Planning? It was obvious that the attack had been in the works for a long time, and the plan carefully thought out. Dylan was also drinking at the end of his life, likely complicating his mental health issues, though had once said that marijuana was a waste of time and so perhaps wasn\u2019t involved in drugs. While I\u2019d argue that violent media doesn\u2019t cause people to act violently if they\u2019re not otherwise inclined, it seems Dylan was vulnerable to the violent games and movies he consumed outside the home. His parents didn\u2019t yet know to monitor his internet usage. The attack on Columbine is almost a prototypical school shooting, but one way in which it stands out is that it was committed by two people together.<\/p>\n

Outside Dylan\u2019s journals, most of the information Sue got about Dylan\u2019s frame of mind for the shootings came from a series of videotapes he and Eric had secretly made together. In them, it\u2019s obvious to see how his anger and rage turned from being directed toward himself to directed toward others. In this case, the other shooter played a pivotal role in stoking Dylan\u2019s rage and allowing him to break out of his own passivity and actually take steps toward the suicide he craved. Unfortunately, Eric was able to channel Dylan\u2019s experiences and psychology into a violent act that would take not only his own life, but the lives of many others.<\/p>\n

As we ourselves have often concluded in class, it seems Sue also came to the understanding that the massacre was the culmination of a number of different factors for Dylan, none of which on their own would have created such an act. As she says, \u201cThe rest of the world could explain away what he had done: either he was born evil – a bad seed – or he\u2019d been raised without moral guidance. I knew it wasn\u2019t nearly so simple\u201d (p. 146). By the time of the shooting, facing his intense feelings of alienation, she says his journals show the only emotions Dylan could connect to were anger and hopelessness. But she focuses greatly on the lead-up to that day, hoping to shed light on what happened to her son in order to help someone else see signs in their own child while they still have a chance to intervene. As I often do, I\u2019ll leave the author the last word on why understanding the process her son went through is important:<\/p>\n

Dylan was vulnerable in many ways – unquestionably emotionally immature, depressed, possibly suffering from a more serious mood or personality disorder. Tom and I failed to recognize these conditions and to curtail the influences – violent entertainment, his friendship with Eric – that exacerbated them. Asking \u201chow\u201d instead of \u201cwhy\u201d allows us to frame the descent into self-destructive behavior as the process that it is. [\u2026] Asking \u201cwhy\u201d only makes us feel hopeless. Asking \u201chow\u201d points the way forward, and shows us what we must do. (p. 277)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

References:<\/p>\n

Bartol, C. R., & Bartol, A. M. (2017). Criminal behavior: a psychological approach. Boston: Pearson.<\/p>\n

Klebold, S. (2016). A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy. New York: Crown.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few weeks ago, I reviewed Sue Klebold\u2019s memoir A Mother\u2019s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy, about her experience as the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the Columbine High School shooters. While I was able to share the manner by which she communicated her ideas and insights, I wasn\u2019t able to actually […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12660,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[32,31,33,34],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1241"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12660"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1241"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1241\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1249,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1241\/revisions\/1249"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.bu.edu\/daniellerousseau\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}